SoberinNY

Hey. I'm not a "new" newcomer. I have about ten months of sobriety. I'm not sure if this is the best place for this topic, but I'm not sure where else to post it. I've had some stuff come up lately about 13th stepping. I've known someone in the rooms for awhile and we had started spending time together. The attraction was obviously there and while she said she would never 13th step anyone, we kept hanging out. Since I was told that not dating until you get a year is a suggestion and not a rule, I went ahead and told her how I felt about her. Now I really regret doing so because I should have waited until I had my year. My sponsor did not discourage me from pursuing this possible relationship. So, what is the deal with the 13th step? I can see why it can be dangerous, but my sobriety is very solid. Was just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this subject. It seems to come up in the rooms a lot.

Dee74

Hi and welcome

We had a recent thread on this that may help too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...13th-step.html

I think '13 stepping' is something a lot different to an informed measured decision between two consenting adults.

I'm still glad I waited in my recovery tho...I waited until I knew who sober me was.
I was a lot different at 6 months than I was at day one, y'know?

D

CarolD

Welcome...
I ask my sponsees to wait until they finish their formal AA Steps before starting new relationships.
Those that do seemingly have a smoother time..

Dating is not necessarily 13th stepping...it can be but is certainly not always.
I did a lot of "AA dateing" in my first 3 years...meaning we often did all sorts of interesting
and fun things outside of meetings. No pairing off....just a group enjoying social things..