Here I go yet again!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 6
Here I go yet again!!!
Ok, so I have been on and off this site. I have been working the 12 steps with a sponsor, trying really hard actually.
I was doing so good for a total of 37 days and then it hit me.... I relapsed
.......... It just sux opiates have to be the hardest thing I have ever had to quit in my life. I am currently in an Intensive outpatient treatment program and more than likely passed a random drug test.... You know I keep thinking that this can be part of recovery, but don't think they will view it as that.
I am just so confused about the relapse nothing sparked it like family or work issues all of a sudden it was just there. Everything depends on my sobriety, my kids coming home, my job, everything and that within itself is alot for this addict to carry I guess.
I have not yet told my sponsor I am so ashamed and have no idea as to what is goin to happen if the results come back positive for opiates because that information gets passed on to so many other people that control my life as having my kids back. Just terrible and I am clean today I just don't know how to take this all in. Its hard been using diff. substances for 20 yeas
Oh yea and not to mention withdrawal again, ugh!
I was doing so good for a total of 37 days and then it hit me.... I relapsed
.......... It just sux opiates have to be the hardest thing I have ever had to quit in my life. I am currently in an Intensive outpatient treatment program and more than likely passed a random drug test.... You know I keep thinking that this can be part of recovery, but don't think they will view it as that.I am just so confused about the relapse nothing sparked it like family or work issues all of a sudden it was just there. Everything depends on my sobriety, my kids coming home, my job, everything and that within itself is alot for this addict to carry I guess.
I have not yet told my sponsor I am so ashamed and have no idea as to what is goin to happen if the results come back positive for opiates because that information gets passed on to so many other people that control my life as having my kids back. Just terrible and I am clean today I just don't know how to take this all in. Its hard been using diff. substances for 20 yeas
Oh yea and not to mention withdrawal again, ugh!
Last edited by hw2011; 10-11-2011 at 06:34 PM. Reason: adding
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I am currently in an Intensive outpatient treatment program and more than likely passed a random drug test.... You know I keep thinking that this can be part of recovery, but don't think they will view it as that.
Don't you mean "more than likely FAILED a random drug test"??
As to your relapse being part of recovery - that's bs. A relapse is part of addiction, plain and simple.
I hope you can get started again with your recovery and stay with it this time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Sometimes there's no logic to addiction hw.
Good to see you back
I agree with least that relapse is not part of recovery...it's a part of addiction - & it's a sign you need to look at what you've been doing and look at what else you need to add to your programme.
I hope you'll tell your sponsor...it's for your good, not theirs
I hope you can make this time be your time
D
Good to see you back
I agree with least that relapse is not part of recovery...it's a part of addiction - & it's a sign you need to look at what you've been doing and look at what else you need to add to your programme.
I hope you'll tell your sponsor...it's for your good, not theirs
I hope you can make this time be your time
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Somewhere Out There
Posts: 6
Yes failed a random drug test... y counselor actually said that about relapse and no wonder I never understood it. Thanx for your responses.... I plan on starting again, even though I have relapsed I haven't missed a meeting I figure out of the other relapses that I always quit meetings and gave up, so I will try anything different from repeating the same mistake.
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