ACT10Npack

It's been 17 hours since my last drink. It was hard but I'm doing it. My recovery time from all the alcohol should not be a week to recovery but a few days withdraw is in my future.

I started to drink on Friday night. I was feeling really bad the last few days and couldn't take it anymore. I was depress and started to drink after the gym. I had a few to make me feel better which it didn't at all. I decided to go to the movies but couldn't stay because how depress i was. I went to the gas station to get 4 big cans. Put it in the bag and waited until my mom pick me up. I went home and started to drink the cans. Didn't help any and I wanted more. Went on craigslist and put an ad for looking for fun with alcohol. I couldn't not drive and the guy pick me up. We went to the gas station to be more alcohol. I pay for it. We went to my place but I didn't want to do anything with the guy and he kick me out of his car. I left my phone there which I lost and will not get back. I still have the alcohol. Got a 12 pack which lasted 12 hours. I had 1 other can at my place.

Once I was out of beer. I wanted to buy more. The problem was that I left my card with the guy. I would need to get a new one at the bank. But I wanted more alcohol. I use craigslist again and a new guy pick me up. It was late and couldn't buy anymore. He had some at his place and I stay there for a few hours. The guy was really tired at the time and he went to sleep. I got a taxi and went to my friends place. To keep drinking. I was last until 10pm when my friend wanted to go to a bar.

Went there for a few hours. I had 2 drinks. He was paying and could not drink more and he wanted to go home. Got some food and drove home. He went to bed and I wanted to drink. Got a new guy off craigslist and went to my place but couldn't drink there. So we got a hotel. We drank and got a 12 pack. I was not really in the mood to do anything and pass out. He use craigslist to get a different guy. I pass out and he left. I stay in the room for a few more hours until I call my friend again. To pick me up. My friend was upset because I was doing crazy things.

Went back to his place again. He got more beer. He could not until why I was drinking this way. Told him that I was nervous and wanted to drink my problems away. Which we all know it does not. Just trying to avoid the end. My friend told me to clean his place up if I wanted to drink. I did and I wanted to drink more when that was done. My friend got **** off and kick me out. It was raining at the time. I call my mom to pick me up. That was the end of everything. I got pick up around 4 or 5 oclock and went home. I took an antidepression pill to help me sleep and I would stop my drinking.

It started Friday night and ended on Tuesday morning. Don't know what to do anymore. I don't know why I go through life this away. I need help!!

Thanks for listening!!

sugarbear1

Please try an aa meeting. You need to realize you're in danger and making crazy decisions. That's a lot of alcohol & can hurt you badly. This disease grows Even when we stop drinking. It wants more more more. It wants us dead. You have so much to offer the world. Can you get in a rehab?

Love,

ACT10Npack

No I can't go to rehab but I need to do something to help me with my alcohol problem. I had 5.5 weeks of sobriety.

I need to look into AA meetings. Something to realize that I'm taking my life into a dark hole.

Dee74

why can't you go to rehab Act10n?

D

Terminally Unique

You have to do something different, because you've been at this for a while. You hooked up with three random anonymous guys off the Internet. That is some very high risk behavior.

sadsoul2011

Welcome back! Please keep posting and reading - there are many wise and caring people to help you. I'm only a newbie - Day 2 - so I don't have a bunch of wisdom for you. But I'm worried about you. You are doing some scary things, but you know that. Know that people care about you and your life is precious. Please take a chance and reach out for help. I'll be praying for you!

ReadyAndAble

Wow, ACTIONpack. I feel the need reiterate what others have already said: whatever you've been doing, please do a whole lot more. It sounds like you are spiraling down at a terrifying pace. The next person you meet on craigslist might be the one who kills you... assuming the alcohol doesn't do the job first.

You can escape this. Anyone can. Proof of that is everywhere on this site. Do more—and please do it tomorrow.

eJoshua

With all love, buddy, you don't need to "look into" AA, you need to go to AA. Quit making excuses and get better. You deserve better than this.

ACT10Npack

Well, i talk to someone about what to do. He said to go to AA. I need to take this serious and don't half @ss things. Which I would do. I was feel better after a week of not drinking and back to not drinking and doing thing. Because I'm not working I have a lot of time on my hands. Which means I will keep to my thoughts and thing I think I would be better which I'm not.

Going to an AA meeting tomorrow and that way it show that I'm getting help. Sometime in the morning. Get a white chip and start a new life without drinking. And hoping I will get my life straight away.

roscoe100

I said that I could not go to rehab either. I have a wife, 9 month old baby, responsibilities. I went to one. 5 weeks and 1200 miles away from home. Best thing I ever did, probably saved my life. I thought that there was no way I could put life on hold to fix the problem that I had. Everything was fine, life was there when I got home, only now I can live life so much better.