Why self destructive?
 

Don't know why I am self destructive, why can't I want to stop drinking beer, eat healthy and exercise? I have a good life, good husband, nice home, pretty good job, love my dogs and horses. Not sure I'm alcoholic, I don't have shakes or blackouts, memory kind of fuzy sometimes. I like to drink beer, especially bll. I drink hard liquor sometimes when I'm trying to cut back on beer, but not bourbons or dark whiskeys, don't like them. Beer doesn't make me feel bad the next day. So why do I no want others to know how much I drink? Why do I try to hide all the bottles? Why am I staying home to drink instead of trail riding with friends? I am not going to drink tonight. I can make myself not drink on week nights, but always start again on Friday. I drank almost two cases last weekend.

Don't worry about the A word horsekisses, not right now.
Don't worry about the whys either - I think actions far more important right now.

Your drinking is obviously something you're not happy about, it's something you can't stop, it's something that makes you isolate and it's something you're ashamed of and want to hide...

that's more than enough reason to want to do something about it :)

Stick with us this week - read around and post - maybe start formulating a plan for next weekend now? :)

You can do this :)
D

Yeah, I don't wear a trenchcoat or live under a bridge.......

Welcome to SR!

A question to answer for yourself....why is drinking seemingly important..... necessary?

WElcome...:wave:

You can go to AA meeting, you don't have to be an alcoholic. You might find some answers to your questions there. The only membership requirement is a desire to stop drinking. You don't have to tell anybody you are an alcoholic, heck, you don't even need to speak.

You can also go to an open AA meeting, which is basically for anybody.

Dee has some good advice.

IMO, you know it's a problem if you would rather stat home and drink rather than ride a horse:)

SR is a good start. Welcome!

One thing for sure, horsekissses. The horse knows when you've been hitting the beer. And he's not the only one. Stick around for awhile and you may well find some answers to all those questions you're asking.

W.