Day 1 -
 

Hi Sad

I can relate to a lot of this with my own shots being vodka. For me its my wife who has to deal with my Jekyll and Hyde and all the promises , oaths and the rest we make are mired in what I think of a sick state of mind , body and spirit. I am thankful my wife is not a heavy drinker and the only time it enters the house now is on my slip/relapses.

The regrets and madness did not start in one day , it happens over time , the healing from what I read here and elsewhere happens over time.

From my own experience if you have been drinking a lot daily for days and days , go see a doctor. Halting heavy drinking can be dangerous for some people but only a Dr can let you know and help. Mine sure has helped me.

You took a step to come to SR and there is a lot of support here. It has inspired me to some lengths of sobriety in the past and is always here , 7/24 , when I need to get first things first again. Lots of links and information on further support on the forums and a whole lot of people who understand.

Hi Sad!! Welcome to the greatest support site on the planet - IMO anyways!!

You're story is a carbon copy of mine! I used to think to myself after a particulary hard night "that's it - I am not doing this again". After a thousand plus promises like that, I finally meant it.

I have been sober for over 60 days now and I feel like a million bucks. The important thing for me was to forgive myself, make amends with my loved ones wherever possible and stick to my commitment.

I am making amends with my son now too - I thought he was oblivious to my drinking until he let it spill in my early sobriety. I wasn't hiding anything from him and he worried and found me embarassing at times. I also planned my evenings/weekends around drinking and I was never really there for him. All that has changed now.

My husband also drinks to excess and has no plans of quitting right now. It is difficult to stay sober while he is drinking - I have gotten to the point where I find his drunken behavior disgusting. I'm trying to be an example to him - we'll see.

I will keep my commitment and never look back. I'm wishing you the same conviction in your journey to sobriety. All the very best to you and your family.

Heya Sad,

I know how you feel. Its difficult to be around it and control yourself. I had a relapse this week, SO I will be going to AA and starting to do this all over again. BUT, dont give up, because being is sober really is worth it. Good Luck.

Welcome to SR!

Thanks so much for your response. Our stories are alike! Congrats on how well you're doing!! :c031: You give me some much needed hope.

Do you mind my asking about how old your son is? I wonder if my kiddos know more than I think they do. Kids often do. I worry that my behavior has been affecting them more directly than I think.... Gives me a knot in my stomach just thinking about it. Did you talk with him about your situation? How did you handle it?

Do you have any good tips for handling my husband and having alcohol around?

Thanks again!

My son just turned 19 years old. I have been drinking heavily for more than 12 years. After I felt I had a "handle" on sobriety, I sat down to talk with him. I told him "I have a problem with alcohol and I am making some changes"...that opened up the flood gates. He let me know his feelings in no uncertain terms. It also opened up a new communication channel for both of us - we can discuss what we think our weaknesses are at the moment and ways we can overcome them - I don't harp on alcohol, just everyday things.

As for my husband - my saving grace is he is a beer drinker and I drank hard liquor. I hate beer and even in my worst time of cravings, would never turn to it. I think the important thing is you have to want this bad enough for yourself that you focus only on you and your commitment. I saw my Doc right away too to help me stay accountable. Early withdrawal is tough but definetely manageable and worth it!!!! I do struggle with angry feelings once in a while when he is drinking - but this too shall pass. I am too wrapped up in feeling healthy and proud of my progress thus far.

I wish you strength and determination - I know you can do this if your heart is in it - the rewards are infinite.

Peace!!

Hi sad! I can definitely relate to your story. I had been binge drinking for over 30 years. My husband also drinks alcoholically. I somehow convinced him to to on the wagon. That has made it so much easier. Although, the other day I tried to talk about his feelings about not drinking and he said "I haven't had a problem not drinking the past weeks, so maybe I don't have a probem". I said "You have got to be kidding me - you are in denial". I'm on day 15. This website has been a god send. It is such a reassuring feeling to know that you are not alone, that you are not unique and that there is support available. I would recommend spending as much time as you can reading and posting. I also believe that thinking you can do it plays a part.

Hi Sad,

I posted this to you on another thread and wasn't sure if you saw it. But as someone with a very similar story to yours and on Day 2, "I really found taking it hour by hour helped, for me at least. Looking back on yesterday (and how nice to be able to look back on it with clarity) I recognize that the desire to drink wasn't persistent all day, just very intense at certain moments. Make it through those moments and you can make it through the day. Stay busy, drink lots of water, and take some vitamins -- that was all advice that helped me."

I also found reading to be very helpful to get me through the day. I was reading the Tao of Sobriety and that seemed very effective for me. Also just reading these threads helped a lot. And keep writing how you feel! We're here for you. It sounds like one of your biggest challenges may be feeling isolated, so keep talking, even if it's here on SR.

And remember that those thoughts that say you're a bad person -- they are not true. That's the alcohol/addiction talking. Go easy on yourself.

Day 2 is going so much better for me than Day One... and I really hope that you can see that tomorrow so we can chat about it. We're rooting for you.

hi sad,

i am on day 1 today too. there have been many attempts for me but this one feels like i am really committed to it. i went to my first AA meeting on friday night, buzzed and ashamed of myself, terrified to walk through the door. when i got there and saw so many brave people of all ages and places in life, i felt inspired by them.

my drinking has been "secret" too...mostly in the house. i am so ready to give up the shame of it, as well as the danger, distance from my loved ones, and poor health that goes with it. sending you virtual hugs and support.

Welcome to SR, sadsoul and goodcheer!

Goodcheer - Welcome. Sounds like you're on the right track. Enjoy a sober night - I think I'm going to. I feel good. The support today has really helped.

Deserto - Thanks for your kind words and advice. Glad to hear that Day 2 is going better for you. I'm loking forward to a good morning.

Tanja - We do have similar stories. Thanks for sharing. Hope your husband stays with sobriety, but I've where is at before. It's a tough spot. You're doing great!

SR is awesome!

Welcome sadsoul :)

The only way I know to get past that regret, embarrassment and shame is to start doing things differently :)

I felt a lot differently about myself and my life at day 90 than I did at day one of sobriety.

Once out of the cycle, I think you'll be amazed at the change in your perspective.

Getting out of that cycle can start with a decision not to drink today :)

Try not to worry about anything else for now - many of our members deal with spouses who drink - it's hard but not a dealbreaker :)

You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here.

Please consider seeing your Dr if you've been drinking for a while though. Detox can sometimes be troublesome for some of us.

D

You sound just like me. I am also on day 1. hoping to make it to day 2 . i am praying for strength and I will pray for you too.

Prayforstrength - Sounds like you handled the situation with your son really well. What a teaching moment it turned out to be. I bet he is really proud of you! My kids are 10/11 so I'm not sure how much they are aware of. I guess we'll see as time goes on. I haven't figured out how I feel about my husband and that whole situation. I would imagine my feelings there will change as I figure out being sober. Thanks again for the kind and informative words.

sadsoul: you are taking a great first step. each day the shame and regret will slowly be replaced by pride in what you have accomplished.

welcome to you too, bwin1961 :)

D

I'll pray for you to - thanks! It will be great for all of us to meet Day 2 sober!

Come into the chat room. Then you can really talk to people.

Welcome sadsoul2011!

It sounds like you're really moving in the right direction. Remember that entering sobriety is for you and only you are responsible for your sobriety :) Welcome again and you can do it!