New to this and a little scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
New to this and a little scared
Greetings all. Im about to turn 27 and up to this point have never considdered myself as someone who had a drinking problem. I have always liked drinking and thought it was normal to drink as much as I did but lately it has really been weighing on my mind that maybe I do in fact have a problem. I dont drink everyday, but when I do I just take it to far. One glass of wine turns into one bottle. A night of partying turns into a night of blacking out. Sometimes I say and do things that are just plain stupid that I would never say or do sober. I suffer from really bad anxiety and to be honest I thought drinking helped my anxiety. But lately the next morning when I am hungover my anxiety is 10 times worse!! I dont want to live like this anymore. I dont want to hurt people I care about and hurt myself and I just want to feel better. I hate admitting this but I do think I have a bit of a problem and this is my first step to recovery. Hopefully this will help!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Have you ever hear the saying, "walk the walk"
and not just "talk the talk"?
Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic since admitting
I have a drinking problem since 8-11-90. That is
some 21 years of many one days sober added together
to get me where I am today.
It was easy to say I wasnt gonna drink for many
years to only fail so many time. Saying I would
do something is always easy until I got into action
and did something about my drinking.
21 yrs ago i didnt have the will to get the help
I so desperately needed to help myself stop drinking.
It was my family who stepped in with an intervention
sending me to rehab where I spent 28 days recieving
the tools and knowledge of my alcoholism before I
was set on the path of recovery learning to live a day
at a time incorperating the steps and principles of
recovery into my every day life.
Today and the past 21 yrs. I have put into action
not drinking and not just talking about it. The action
part of not drinking, is sharing my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before, during
and after my drinking to those who still suffer with
addiction.
In doing so, that action has allowed me to have another
day sober for many one days at a time added together
to get me where I am today.
Knowledge of my acoholism is important and the affects
it had and has on others around me. Incorperating the steps
and principles in my everyday affairs allows me to continue
to live sober each day happy joyous and free of my addiction.
and not just "talk the talk"?
Hi, Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic since admitting
I have a drinking problem since 8-11-90. That is
some 21 years of many one days sober added together
to get me where I am today.
It was easy to say I wasnt gonna drink for many
years to only fail so many time. Saying I would
do something is always easy until I got into action
and did something about my drinking.
21 yrs ago i didnt have the will to get the help
I so desperately needed to help myself stop drinking.
It was my family who stepped in with an intervention
sending me to rehab where I spent 28 days recieving
the tools and knowledge of my alcoholism before I
was set on the path of recovery learning to live a day
at a time incorperating the steps and principles of
recovery into my every day life.
Today and the past 21 yrs. I have put into action
not drinking and not just talking about it. The action
part of not drinking, is sharing my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before, during
and after my drinking to those who still suffer with
addiction.
In doing so, that action has allowed me to have another
day sober for many one days at a time added together
to get me where I am today.
Knowledge of my acoholism is important and the affects
it had and has on others around me. Incorperating the steps
and principles in my everyday affairs allows me to continue
to live sober each day happy joyous and free of my addiction.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Sara))) - welcome to SR!! Though alcohol wasn't what took me to my bottom (though I did abuse it for years), crack was, I've read a lot of stories here where people thought they were helping the anxiety with alcohol, when in fact, the alcohol was making it worse.
This is a great place where people have all kinds of ES&H (experience, strength, and hope)..people who have been where you are or are still there. When I first got here, I read a TON of stories and realized I was not alone. I also found it really didn't matter the substance abused, I could relate with people, no matter what they were addicted to. I read the alcoholism forum, the substance abuse forum, the friends & family forums and found I "fit" into a lot of forums.
The first step is acknowledging we have a problem, and you've gotten there. Some people find help in 12-step programs, others with a counselor/therapist, and some of us do just fine with SR. Me? I use what I learned from the 12-step programs when I went, but I use that and SR to make my own recovery program. Over 4-1/2 years later, it's still working.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
This is a great place where people have all kinds of ES&H (experience, strength, and hope)..people who have been where you are or are still there. When I first got here, I read a TON of stories and realized I was not alone. I also found it really didn't matter the substance abused, I could relate with people, no matter what they were addicted to. I read the alcoholism forum, the substance abuse forum, the friends & family forums and found I "fit" into a lot of forums.
The first step is acknowledging we have a problem, and you've gotten there. Some people find help in 12-step programs, others with a counselor/therapist, and some of us do just fine with SR. Me? I use what I learned from the 12-step programs when I went, but I use that and SR to make my own recovery program. Over 4-1/2 years later, it's still working.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family.
It is possible to stop drinking and stay sober - I'm living proof as I'm coming up on two years sober this winter. I never thought I could stay sober this long and enjoy it but with the help and support of this site and my addiction counselor I'm making it, one happy day at a time. You can too!
It is possible to stop drinking and stay sober - I'm living proof as I'm coming up on two years sober this winter. I never thought I could stay sober this long and enjoy it but with the help and support of this site and my addiction counselor I'm making it, one happy day at a time. You can too! 
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome to SR! You are among friends here.
Drinking played a huge part in my life for years. I eventually became an every day drinker and in order to recover I had to become an every day non-drinker.
Drinking played a huge part in my life for years. I eventually became an every day drinker and in order to recover I had to become an every day non-drinker.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad to see both of our new members posting....Welcome!
i too was a blackout drinker...did all sorts of risky dangerous embarrassing things...
As soon as I quit...the blackouts stopped immnediately.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Sara! I think you should be proud of the fact that you're questioning what alcohol is doing to your life. When I was 27 it never occurred to me that I had a problem - I just kept going with it for many more years - insisting it was something I couldn't live without.
I agree with you about the anxiety. I was always shy & self-conscious, too. Numbing myself seemed like an answer once. I didn't know back then that "alcoholism is a progressive disease" - and that one day I'd end up drinking round the clock, unable to make a move without it.
This never has to happen to you - we're here to encourage you on your journey to a better life. You can do this, Sara!
I agree with you about the anxiety. I was always shy & self-conscious, too. Numbing myself seemed like an answer once. I didn't know back then that "alcoholism is a progressive disease" - and that one day I'd end up drinking round the clock, unable to make a move without it.
This never has to happen to you - we're here to encourage you on your journey to a better life. You can do this, Sara!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Wow, this sounds just like me. Binges, anxiety, self-medicating with the alcohol, everything! You're definitely not alone. At least you've recognized that the alcohol is making your anxiety worse, not better. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to cut it out altogether. Easier said than done, but we can do it. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 133
Welcome! I used alcohol to help with anxiety too, but it just made it so much worse. Initially it helped because I was able to forget about things that scared me or triggered my anxiety. But eventually, I began waking up fearing I might die at any moment. I would sob and beg my husband to hold me because I thought I would get pulled under by cripple-ridden angst. I stopped drinking three weeks ago and I haven't had a single panic attack since I got over the initial physical withdrawl. You can do it and you will feel so much better. I promise.
Best to you!
xo,
kc
Best to you!
xo,
kc
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 873
Welcome. It is kind of scary at first but we all go through that.
My guess is that in retrospect you'll find that there was nothing to be scared about. It's funny but quitting actually removed a lot of fear for me. It allowed me to see things as they really are, and the reality is actually pretty good.
Best of luck. Hope you stick around.
My guess is that in retrospect you'll find that there was nothing to be scared about. It's funny but quitting actually removed a lot of fear for me. It allowed me to see things as they really are, and the reality is actually pretty good.
Best of luck. Hope you stick around.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Welcome. I remember being exactly where you are. I was 27 and concerned about my drinking. However if you called me an alcoholic I'd probably have punched you in the face! It got to the point where I looked up an AA meeting (this was waaaaay before the internet and was not easy) and sat in the church parking lot waiting to go in. I decided against going and went home and quit drinking - for 2 weeks.
Fast forward 18 years, and I was drinking every day. Throw in some of the usual consequences - financial and career hits, ruined relationships, DUI and health issues - and I willing walked into an AA meeting.
It took me some time even then (2 years) to achieve any lasting sobriety, and I have had relapses, some minor, one major (a 9 month stretch that damn near killed me, I ended up in the ER). Today I don't worry about living like that anymore.
Don't let those 20 years happen to you. Give AA a shot, or if that's not your cup of tea there are other resources out there.
Fast forward 18 years, and I was drinking every day. Throw in some of the usual consequences - financial and career hits, ruined relationships, DUI and health issues - and I willing walked into an AA meeting.
It took me some time even then (2 years) to achieve any lasting sobriety, and I have had relapses, some minor, one major (a 9 month stretch that damn near killed me, I ended up in the ER). Today I don't worry about living like that anymore.
Don't let those 20 years happen to you. Give AA a shot, or if that's not your cup of tea there are other resources out there.
csim
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 31
Sara23,
You sound exactly like me. I have the same problems. I binge drink and then blackout and end up regretting everything that happened the night before. I always said things to hurt people and got into fights, even with guys.. I've tried to tell myself that i can just have a few but that never happens because i just go back into the same routine. Your doing the right thing by joining this forum. Im glad nothing to severe has happened to you yet that led you here. I started on here 10-8-11. The reason is I got into my car the night before after getting into a fight with my boyfriend about my rude and cruel behavior at the bar and slammed into a tree. After everything I've done before then, THAT is what made me realize i can't have alcohol in my life. I hope you can really take that to heart and be glad Its not you. If you can't control the amount and blackout almost Everytime you drink its most definitely something you should give up. Alcohol is basically a drug. We don't really need it to have fun. I've been thinking about what i can do that's fun and it is hard but i remembered something about being a kid. I never had to be sedated or amped by a substance to begin or continue to have fun.
Regardless of me not drinking since Saturday, i really have no business doing it ever again and i plan on keeping it that way!
You sound exactly like me. I have the same problems. I binge drink and then blackout and end up regretting everything that happened the night before. I always said things to hurt people and got into fights, even with guys.. I've tried to tell myself that i can just have a few but that never happens because i just go back into the same routine. Your doing the right thing by joining this forum. Im glad nothing to severe has happened to you yet that led you here. I started on here 10-8-11. The reason is I got into my car the night before after getting into a fight with my boyfriend about my rude and cruel behavior at the bar and slammed into a tree. After everything I've done before then, THAT is what made me realize i can't have alcohol in my life. I hope you can really take that to heart and be glad Its not you. If you can't control the amount and blackout almost Everytime you drink its most definitely something you should give up. Alcohol is basically a drug. We don't really need it to have fun. I've been thinking about what i can do that's fun and it is hard but i remembered something about being a kid. I never had to be sedated or amped by a substance to begin or continue to have fun.
Regardless of me not drinking since Saturday, i really have no business doing it ever again and i plan on keeping it that way!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
I am so overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude to all of you who read my post and responded!! Simply knowing that I am not the only one here who is dealing with these issues really is comforting. I feel like with the help of you all, my family, friends, loved ones, and God, I can get through this difficult time in my life. Thank you so much!
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: La-La Land! :)
Posts: 136
Same boat!
Hello Sara23!
Just wanted to let you know that this is my first day here as well. I am also 27 and having a difficult time with the realization that being so young, I have to give up something that has been a big part of my life up to now. It took a while to realize that although I thought I was drinking the same amount as all my friends, I would always just take it that one step farther. The anxiety issue is a big part of it for me as well, but the more I've been looking into myself deeper (started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago) the more I realize I may just be using it as an excuse to abuse alcohol. I am tapering myself off today... too anxious after a particularly busy boozy weekend with visiting friends... but I am making the 13th my complete quit date because it is my husbands birthday and I want to do this for him and myself and I've read picking a special date can help. As scary as it is to be our age and coming to terms with this, we have to realize that its kinda a gift to realize there is an issue now, before things spiral out of control. I started to realize something was up when I was actually JEALOUS of the people who ordered tea at dinner when I was on my 3rd glass of wine. Just cause we are not downing bottles a day and passing out in public doesn't mean we don't have a problem. I'm proud of you for taking this step because I know how incredibly hard it is cause I am dealing with the same thing. We can do this... It's just going to take some getting used to!! But aren't you kinda excited also!? I am!! Take care!
Just wanted to let you know that this is my first day here as well. I am also 27 and having a difficult time with the realization that being so young, I have to give up something that has been a big part of my life up to now. It took a while to realize that although I thought I was drinking the same amount as all my friends, I would always just take it that one step farther. The anxiety issue is a big part of it for me as well, but the more I've been looking into myself deeper (started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago) the more I realize I may just be using it as an excuse to abuse alcohol. I am tapering myself off today... too anxious after a particularly busy boozy weekend with visiting friends... but I am making the 13th my complete quit date because it is my husbands birthday and I want to do this for him and myself and I've read picking a special date can help. As scary as it is to be our age and coming to terms with this, we have to realize that its kinda a gift to realize there is an issue now, before things spiral out of control. I started to realize something was up when I was actually JEALOUS of the people who ordered tea at dinner when I was on my 3rd glass of wine. Just cause we are not downing bottles a day and passing out in public doesn't mean we don't have a problem. I'm proud of you for taking this step because I know how incredibly hard it is cause I am dealing with the same thing. We can do this... It's just going to take some getting used to!! But aren't you kinda excited also!? I am!! Take care!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by CamilleBelle 
Hello Sara23!
Just wanted to let you know that this is my first day here as well. I am also 27 and having a difficult time with the realization that being so young, I have to give up something that has been a big part of my life up to now. It took a while to realize that although I thought I was drinking the same amount as all my friends, I would always just take it that one step farther. The anxiety issue is a big part of it for me as well, but the more I've been looking into myself deeper (started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago) the more I realize I may just be using it as an excuse to abuse alcohol. I am tapering myself off today... too anxious after a particularly busy boozy weekend with visiting friends... but I am making the 13th my complete quit date because it is my husbands birthday and I want to do this for him and myself and I've read picking a special date can help. As scary as it is to be our age and coming to terms with this, we have to realize that its kinda a gift to realize there is an issue now, before things spiral out of control. I started to realize something was up when I was actually JEALOUS of the people who ordered tea at dinner when I was on my 3rd glass of wine. Just cause we are not downing bottles a day and passing out in public doesn't mean we don't have a problem. I'm proud of you for taking this step because I know how incredibly hard it is cause I am dealing with the same thing. We can do this... It's just going to take some getting used to!! But aren't you kinda excited also!? I am!! Take care!
Just wanted to let you know that this is my first day here as well. I am also 27 and having a difficult time with the realization that being so young, I have to give up something that has been a big part of my life up to now. It took a while to realize that although I thought I was drinking the same amount as all my friends, I would always just take it that one step farther. The anxiety issue is a big part of it for me as well, but the more I've been looking into myself deeper (started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago) the more I realize I may just be using it as an excuse to abuse alcohol. I am tapering myself off today... too anxious after a particularly busy boozy weekend with visiting friends... but I am making the 13th my complete quit date because it is my husbands birthday and I want to do this for him and myself and I've read picking a special date can help. As scary as it is to be our age and coming to terms with this, we have to realize that its kinda a gift to realize there is an issue now, before things spiral out of control. I started to realize something was up when I was actually JEALOUS of the people who ordered tea at dinner when I was on my 3rd glass of wine. Just cause we are not downing bottles a day and passing out in public doesn't mean we don't have a problem. I'm proud of you for taking this step because I know how incredibly hard it is cause I am dealing with the same thing. We can do this... It's just going to take some getting used to!! But aren't you kinda excited also!? I am!! Take care!
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