Jdkarlson

I know I'm going to get slammed for writing this, but one of the things that irritates me about "recovery" is that everything fun is taken away. I am in no way addicted to beer/wine/booze. I can take it or leave it. Put I pile of coke in my hand, and it's going to get used til it's gone be it a gram or an ounce. I don't have lack of control with alcohol, so why can't I just have a beer or two while I watch the game. I can't remember the last time I drank to drunkness; I hate hangovers and was a bartender through and after college and have seen the dark side of drinking. (personally, I think alcoholics have different wiring because they get a LOT more pleasure out of drinking than I ever did!). So, I can tell the difference between no control (coke) and control (beer). Why does everything enjoyable have to go out the window? The reason I ask this is because I don't like being the weirdo who doesn't drink in social situations and I don't want to be the guy who gets the hairy eyeball from significant others if I drink a stupid beer. I feel like I'm going to get really annoyed and say screw it if I don't have SOMETHING? What the he'll are all the recovered people substituting? Meetings? No offense, but when I'm exhausted from working and I just want to unwind and forget all my stress, the last thing. Want to do is drive to a meeting and sit in uncomfortable chairs and look at everyone else who is Jonesing. You would think ha science would have devised some pill to cure the Jonesing so we all can get back to our lives. Anyway, I'm sorry for babbling---feel free to call me ignorant and deluded and in denial, but someone must have felt like this somewhere. That's the worst part: feeling like I'm the only person who has ever felt this way...it's depressing.....

suki44883

Well, everyone has their opinions about that. Me, I drank way too much beer. I never abused any type of medication, so when I go to the doctor and they prescribe something, I take it without any second thoughts. I have no problem taking NyQuil when I have a cold. I've never once even thought to abuse it. I got pain pills from my dentist when I had a tooth pulled. Never once abused them and in fact, only took a couple of them because the pain wasn't so bad that Advil didn't work. There are people who would tell me that I'm tempting fate, but I have about 3 1/2 years sober and it's never been a problem for me in any way whatsoever.

Now, I guess the only way to know if you would abuse alcohol the way you do other stuff, especially if you're no longer using the other stuff, would be to have a beer or two and see what happens. If you can handle it and not drink to excess, well, there ya go. If you can't, well, now you know.

newwings

Hey, I know you are going to get slammed for this one, but I'm not going to be the one to do so. I understand what you are saying, in part. I've only ever had a problem with alcohol, but I have dabbled in weed in the past. It's still around me, but I've chosen not to do it again. Why? Not because I am worried about relapsing with the booze, or replacing my addiction with something else - just that I love the feeling of being 'clean' from everything. I've begun a process in my life that I am really happy with, and I don't want to take any steps backwards.

The only issues I have with your point of view is this:

"Everything fun is taken away" and "I don't like being the weirdo who doesn't drink".

Look, you don't have a problem with alcohol. I did, and so I can only see it from that side. Never touched coke and never will. The problem with booze is that it takes away our ability to rationalize and process consequence, and therefore you could be picking up that problem coke habit without a care in the world. Before you know it, BAM! You could be right back in there. Yeah, you probably won't become an alcoholic, but you are dicing with the resolve you have to crack that coke addiction.

It's up to you, of course. Only YOU know how you will react. Try it and see. I'm of the school of thought that we all can make good and bad choices for ourselves. I made bad ones, but it's not to say that you'll be joining me

..and no, not all those recovered peeps are substituting with meetings. I'm out there running, exercising hard and setting personal challenges to replace my addiction. I'm still getting the 'buzz', but in a healthy way. No Jonesing, just quietly getting on with my life, and happily so.

Good luck!

Aegian

Everyone is different.

Give me a scotch and I will polish off the entire 5th before retiring for the evening (and do it again the next day and the next....).

Give me an Oxy for pain and meh. I will take them as prescribed for a few days until the pain is back to manageable and then I'll toss whats left in the bottle in the trash.

My Doc knows my history with coke and is treating me for alcohol abuse now. 10 days into my 40 day recovery (last month) he prescribed Tramadol for post-dental work (I didn't trust my Dentist to not prescribe tylenol based pills because of my fragile liver). I took them for a few days and quit. Had he prescribed booze as a pain reliever, I'd be on my 3rd or 4th case of it by now.

Thats why this is about YOU. Not external forces, external relationships, or generic one-size-fits-all recovery. The alcohol demon has a lot of baggage for many of us, but if it isn't your demon to fight, then focus on the demon you have.

Anna

I'm not going to slam you, but it sounds like you're looking for something outside of you, to make you feel good. I don't feel like everything fun is taken away, I feel like I've been given the greatest gift ever.

least

I'm with Suki: I can't touch a drop of alcohol as it was my downfall. But other chemicals, like prescribed meds, are no problem to me. Never abused them so it's not a problem to take them for whatever condition.

If you don't have a problem with alcohol, go ahead and have it. If you don't drink to excess or have problems created by drinking, sounds like alcohol is not a problem for you.


I must disagree with the "all the fun is taken out of everything" though, as I've found more fun being sober than I ever did while drinking. As far as being "the weirdo who doesn't drink", well, that's your perception. If you're not drinking and your companions are and think you're a weirdo for not drinking, that's on them, not you. Perhaps anyone not drinking just reminds them of their own drinking, problematic or not.

Why would you get slammed? I found nothing offensive in your post.

Reset

Do what works for you. If you can handle alcohol then that's up to you. But be careful because it can get out of control too (I didn't like alcohol much when I first started).

I'm not addicted to other things like weed or mushrooms but I avoid them now because I know that under the influence of those things I'm more inclined to go pick up a beer. It's a choice I had to make.

And anyway I've started to realize that all of those "fun" things aren't as fun as they used to be. Being sober is pretty cool, actually.

PaperDolls

You can. There's no rule saying you can't.

It's suggested because many people replace one addiction for another. It's very common and can be very dangerous.

Find what works for you.

sugarbear1

There are Narcotic Anonymous meetings.

My AA'er friends aren't jonesing, nor am I. We are there for the newcomer. Wht I know jis that a substance which alters my brain is often changed from one to another. Brain damage is real.

Boring meetings, well, I'm not bored, I'm with others following a spiritual way of life. I don't get off being self involved or self indulgent. I have no craving or desire on acting with drunkenness or walking around high and tuning out of life.

My new sober world is brighter and more enjoyable. I wouldn't trade my worst day sober for my best day high--on anything!

Whatever you choose to do, try being sober!

Jdkarlson

Everyone on here does NOT fit my preconceived notion of what I thought I would get from people in recovery. Everyone is so accepting and cool---didn't think that would be the case. Thought everyone would tell me what a loser I was. Anyway, i think it's the thought of not having the option of having a beer that others me more than actually having one. You know, some of the substances I've used weren't pleasurable from the start.. (coke was from the first line/shot) Heroin I hated for at least 20 times before I could actually stand it (all the puking sucks in the beginning; it's like your body has to focus and amplify the good parts of the drug and downplay the less pleasant parts (I.e. Nausea and that prickly pin lame slow rush that electrified your spine-i hate that) Anyway, I like how everyone isn't so straight that they are 100% "you can't have anything". All of you are realists...that's awesome!

northwoods

[QUOTE=Jdkarlson;3132305] Anyway, i think it's the thought of not having the option of having a beer that others me more than actually having one. /QUOTE]

The thought of not having any alcohol really bothered me and for a very long time I simply kept telling myself I would cut back. The thought of giving it up totally was not pleasant at all. It was fun to drink I did not want to give that up.

Cutting back did not seem to work for me though, maybe at 1st but I got to the point where it didn't. I'd start out the day saying I was gonna cut back for a while and by afternoon driving home, after a hard day of work, I wanted booze and to relax.

I guess for me things got a lot easier when I got to the point that the "fun" was not worth the negatives associated with drinking to excess and letting it control my life. I'm ready to give it up now. I'm lucky in that I know many many people who live happy and productive lives who don't drink. I can be one too and so can you.

When I was young and was experimenting with cocaine it did not take me long at all to see that there was NO WAY I could do that stuff for the same reasons you mentioned. A little bit of that and all self control was out the window. It was ridiculous. Now I have to admit booze has begun to have the same effect.

I'm ready to open a new chapter in my life in which I don't need drugs of any sort. I wanna be high on just living a good clean productive life.

eJoshua

Hmm... Not sure who you're so upset at. I don't see any problem with you drinking if drinking wasn't your problem. I don't think that everything fun has been taken away because I don't drink though. Drinking stopped being fun a long time ago.

I also have no problem being a non drinker in social situations. I don't think of myself as a "weirdo", and I don't think anyone else does either. If you think people that don't drink are weird then maybe you need to reevaluate your priorities.

Reset

The thought of not having alcohol ever again was a hurdle for me too, so at the beginning I told myself that this was a temporary experiment to see what would happen. After about a month I pretty much knew I didn't want to drink again, and after 3 months I was sure about it.

I know that approach doesn't work for everyone but it worked for me.

Boleo

I used to have a few drinks as an escape from everyday trials and tribulations. For a while it worked out pretty good. It only took 3 - 4 drinks. Then something changed - it started taking more and more to get the same effect. It eventually started doing more harm than good (a lot more harm).

So what do I use now to "escape from everyday trials and tribulations"?
Self-appraisal, prayer and meditation. It didn't work all that well at first, but practice... practice... practice - turned it into a very effective tool.

I used to pray to God for hitting the lottery jackpot so I could be happy. Now I just pray to be happy. It cuts out the nonessentials.

sugarbear1

This thread is a bit of a "follow up" to another thread.....

Mcribb

I hope no one slams you. You have to search the truth for yourself. For me I could tell I was just going to go from Weed/booze/ whatever it took to feel better, until I got to the point where I needed help. I did that merry-go-round long enough that I could tell that I needed to quit all that. I still binge eat sometimes when I am upset.

Dee74

I never had a problem with alcohol either - until I gave up other drugs and started to drink more....

Years down the track now I realise the problem wasn't alcohol or drugs - the problem was me.

Like Anna said I was always looking for things outside myself to feel good....

I always needed 'something' too...I'd convinced myself I couldn't function without some kind of escape/crutch.

I see now I was letting my fear rule me.

D

onlythetruth

Well, I'll just join the chorus of people not slamming you! There are so many things that people can get addicted to, and there is no reason to say that being addicted to one of them means you have an issue with them all! For example, I was once so addicted to alcohol that I couldn't get through a single day without the stuff...and I've had an issue or two with food and exercise, also. But other things? No. Not drugs, sex, gambling, smoking, shopping--none of that stuff has ever been a problem for me and I see no reason to make something INTO a problem for myself! Similarly, I see no reason why you need to make alcohol into a problem for you, if it has never been a problem before.

soberlicious

LOL I'm not going to slam your post, jd. In fact, I was laughing through some of it. The weirdo who doesn't drink? did you really say that? haha I am very social, and a rather uninhibited person. I am a non-drinker. Trust me on this...judging from the interactions I have with people in social situations, I am not perceived as a weirdo

I think if you don't have a problem with alcohol, then drinking it wouldn't be a problem. I do agree with the other posters, though, that looking outside of oneself for comfort could indicate something is a little off. Personally, I find people who "need something" to make them feel better lack creativity, confidence, and strength. but that's just me...

well, no magic pill...but there is this incredible thing called the mind...once I understood the power, the jonesing went away.

HuskyPup

I think it's entirely possible to have problems with one substance, but not another. Drinking? For me, that's a very slippery slope, and one generally means 12. But a joint here and again, and no huge cravings, no going out on a binge. I think there's something about the very physically addictive qualities of alcohol, for me, that make it difficult...I am cautious with regards to substances in general, though I know the one that will open the door to trouble for me, personally, and I think this differs a lot. So I found your post perfectly reasonable, it even made me laugh a bit, and smile, and that is a good thing, because as you say, so many times in recovery, people are so grim, grouchy and serious. Sometimes, I think they should have jugglers and clowns at the ends of my meetings, just to make people smile a bit more. But there is some smiling, of course.