A Work in Progress
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
A Work in Progress
Well, where do I start… It’s been a while since I have absorbed any alcohol, many things have changed in this time from the early withdraws to the seemingly endless bouts of depression. I have been able to express myself better, show some feelings besides anger… my life is finally moving forward.
I’ve lost weight, my color has changed for the better, no more darkness under my eyes, I sleep better now and that was a big one, my career is on track and the stress of running a business is much more manageable.
It seems that my physical issues have resolved for the most part, I do still think about booze a lot, mostly in a negative way, reading here or listing to speaker tapes etc… however it does creep into my mind occasionally that I might enjoy a drink and that’s why I must continually stay vigilant against those type thoughts, I find the quicker I dismiss the thoughts the quicker the craving leaves and sometimes I will ride to the store, buy a soda, this replacing the action seems to work, I used to go to the store every day for at least a 12 pack, I’d usually buy a few singles to prime up too, I notice the clerk saying hello to some of the others buying beer and remember when he used to know me that well, I leave with my soda not knowing when I’d be back, and I have even told the store clerk (on other occasions) that I’d quit drinking, you would think a guy that sold beer would hate losing such a good customer but he congratulated me and he was wowed when I told him I’d been quit for over 6 months.
It was a while before I would go back to that store out of shame, and I still try to avoid going by the beer isle, I could do it but why? I guess I could stare at a beer for an hour too, but why, I just avoid it if at all possible and I think that’s ok.
There is this one thing that I must work on now, it’s the reason for the post, it’s funny too because I never really thought of it as a problem before, alcohol has a way of covering up deep issues.
Yesterday morning was a typical Saturday morning like last Saturday, I don’t work Saturdays so I engage in conversation with my wife, and every single time we get into an argument about little stupid things, I used to blame this on late after work arrivals, maybe I was tiered, well it turns out it’s not the case, I feel great this morning just as yesterday started, my wife went to church this morning and I’m staying here to write this, it seems I can’t let things go, instead of moving on in the conversation I continually try and ‘force’ a point. This turns into an argument and I think she needs to change her thinking. This is a big step for me to notice that this is my problem, that she has lived with this for years.
Maybe she does need to open her mind about a few things and maybe I am right about some things we argue about but the simple fact remains that this is my problem and I need to deal with it and consider that I may be wrong, that I am not perfect and still have lots to work on, even if others may seem to have issues there not mine and to notice that difference. I have to focus and work on me.
Living sober is an experience that I am gaining a lot from, you might think my wife and I have issues but it’s really the opposite, yea we might argue but we have come a very long way since she left me nearly 8 months ago after an all-nighter with 30 beers following an 18 pack the next morning, that sounds crazy to me now, I was choosing booze over her and that is a sad thought, I look back and still wonder how I ever jumped that fence that separates me from alcohol, but I am glad to be here, thanks for reading if you got this far, heh.
Thanks for all the support I get from this site...
I’ve lost weight, my color has changed for the better, no more darkness under my eyes, I sleep better now and that was a big one, my career is on track and the stress of running a business is much more manageable.
It seems that my physical issues have resolved for the most part, I do still think about booze a lot, mostly in a negative way, reading here or listing to speaker tapes etc… however it does creep into my mind occasionally that I might enjoy a drink and that’s why I must continually stay vigilant against those type thoughts, I find the quicker I dismiss the thoughts the quicker the craving leaves and sometimes I will ride to the store, buy a soda, this replacing the action seems to work, I used to go to the store every day for at least a 12 pack, I’d usually buy a few singles to prime up too, I notice the clerk saying hello to some of the others buying beer and remember when he used to know me that well, I leave with my soda not knowing when I’d be back, and I have even told the store clerk (on other occasions) that I’d quit drinking, you would think a guy that sold beer would hate losing such a good customer but he congratulated me and he was wowed when I told him I’d been quit for over 6 months.
It was a while before I would go back to that store out of shame, and I still try to avoid going by the beer isle, I could do it but why? I guess I could stare at a beer for an hour too, but why, I just avoid it if at all possible and I think that’s ok.
There is this one thing that I must work on now, it’s the reason for the post, it’s funny too because I never really thought of it as a problem before, alcohol has a way of covering up deep issues.
Yesterday morning was a typical Saturday morning like last Saturday, I don’t work Saturdays so I engage in conversation with my wife, and every single time we get into an argument about little stupid things, I used to blame this on late after work arrivals, maybe I was tiered, well it turns out it’s not the case, I feel great this morning just as yesterday started, my wife went to church this morning and I’m staying here to write this, it seems I can’t let things go, instead of moving on in the conversation I continually try and ‘force’ a point. This turns into an argument and I think she needs to change her thinking. This is a big step for me to notice that this is my problem, that she has lived with this for years.
Maybe she does need to open her mind about a few things and maybe I am right about some things we argue about but the simple fact remains that this is my problem and I need to deal with it and consider that I may be wrong, that I am not perfect and still have lots to work on, even if others may seem to have issues there not mine and to notice that difference. I have to focus and work on me.
Living sober is an experience that I am gaining a lot from, you might think my wife and I have issues but it’s really the opposite, yea we might argue but we have come a very long way since she left me nearly 8 months ago after an all-nighter with 30 beers following an 18 pack the next morning, that sounds crazy to me now, I was choosing booze over her and that is a sad thought, I look back and still wonder how I ever jumped that fence that separates me from alcohol, but I am glad to be here, thanks for reading if you got this far, heh.
Thanks for all the support I get from this site...
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by SomethingBetter 
There is this one thing that I must work on now, it’s the reason for the post, it’s funny too because I never really thought of it as a problem before, alcohol has a way of covering up deep issues.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
My perspective and beliefs about myself changed a lot after I stopped drinking. I felt that I was really seeing myself as I am and it was enlightening.
Congratulations on your sobriety.
Congratulations on your sobriety.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
