I blew 19 yrs. of sobriety....
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: new york
Posts: 34
Thank you guys for taking the time and putting such emotion and feelings into your responses...Its heartwarming to know that people out there really can relate, and If they cant, then maybe by reading someone else experience can help them...Im looking at my fall as a blessing..a reality check...a reminder of what could have been ,if I didnt reconize, and jump back into sobriety..It was a REAL look at the past..that could have been my future if not corrected immediately...I consider myself extremely fortunate to have been able to do this...without deadly consequences...I thank my blessings, and appreciate my sobriety...then and now
Hello, Enlightenment: So sorry for your relapse after so long in recovery. Relapse starts way before you pick up a drug or drink. So you can rebuild and start again knowing what you didn't do that maybe you can make better this time.
Thank you so much for sharing. This takes a LOT of courage to admit after so long in recovery. I have had nightmares about relapsing and the heart pounder that awakened me every time was when I was realizing I had to tell all my friends from recovery and go back to my meetings and tell everyone.
I really needed to hear this. It helps me stay sober today. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing. This takes a LOT of courage to admit after so long in recovery. I have had nightmares about relapsing and the heart pounder that awakened me every time was when I was realizing I had to tell all my friends from recovery and go back to my meetings and tell everyone.
I really needed to hear this. It helps me stay sober today. Thank you.
Enlightenment: Now that you're feeling better, perhaps I might take the liberty of recounting for you a similar episode which happened to me and which did not have as fortunate an outcome as yours apparently is. I had been "sober" for seven years and one winter, when we were having some family turmoil because of adolescent problems, I had a bad cold and had to give an important lecture away from home. I had not told my doctor I was an alcoholic and he prescribed for me some antihistamine which tasted like it had an alcohol base. With the help of the medication I gave the lecture and, at the reception afterwards, decided that, what with all that I had gone through I "deserved" "just one" whiskey. I started to drink but my binge drinking didn't stop for six years, when it entered a crisis. And I didn't really get into long term sobriety for 13 years. I haven't had a drink now for 23 years.
You're lucky you caught yourself in time. Good luck to you.
W.
You're lucky you caught yourself in time. Good luck to you.
W.
What a great thread. Lots of good reading.
I'd like to add a few things:
After I'd been sober a few years I started to listen carefully to what people at meetings shared, looking for what they had in common. Every one of them said that the first thing they did was they stopped going to meetings. I look at meeting attendance as insurance against a slip, among other things.
I do have an allergy. I have an abnormal reaction to a substance: alcohol. When I ingest even a little bit, I react differently than people who don't have the allergy. This allergy of the body is accompanied by an obsession of the mind. Alcoholism is the only disease that repeatedly tells you you don't have it. My mind keeps telling me it's been a long time, you're not really an alcoholic, you can have just one, you deserve it, no one has to know, and on and on!
My sobriety date is November 27, 1988, and I know full well it's one day at a time and it always will be.
Bring it on, friend. No matter what your past looks like, your future is spotless.
I'd like to add a few things:
After I'd been sober a few years I started to listen carefully to what people at meetings shared, looking for what they had in common. Every one of them said that the first thing they did was they stopped going to meetings. I look at meeting attendance as insurance against a slip, among other things.
I do have an allergy. I have an abnormal reaction to a substance: alcohol. When I ingest even a little bit, I react differently than people who don't have the allergy. This allergy of the body is accompanied by an obsession of the mind. Alcoholism is the only disease that repeatedly tells you you don't have it. My mind keeps telling me it's been a long time, you're not really an alcoholic, you can have just one, you deserve it, no one has to know, and on and on!
My sobriety date is November 27, 1988, and I know full well it's one day at a time and it always will be.
Bring it on, friend. No matter what your past looks like, your future is spotless.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 17
Well, the point is you were sober for 19 years! Wow, that's something to still be proud of! Your mind and body is a lot healthier because of that 19 years than it would be if you'd have been drinking all this time. In fact.. you might not be here if you had continued drinking. So, don't discount what you've accomplished. You need to forgive yourself and move on. You're a strong person.. you've proven that. Just do it again.
I agree with Risydawn: After 19 years the body changes a lot. Although this is no basis for complacency, particularly for those who suggest that alcoholism is a "progressive" illness, it still offers hope to those who, recovering from a relapse, want to get back into recovery. The passage of so many years works both ways. Although, now that the body is older, its ability to deal with large amounts of alcohol is significantly less than it was in former days, nonetheless 19 years of sobriety is an asset to the extent that the body may have changed back into what it was chemically and neurologically prior to the drinking. The body will always "remember" the alcohol nostalgically, but with time its memory fades. So, if one manages to stop drinking one can hope to get the show back on the road.
W.
W.
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