dawn197

Hi,
I just need to post and try to get a grip. Today is my fourth day of no alcohol or pills (i have been using off and on pretty much my entire life and this is my second attempt in the past few months to get sober after relapsing two years ago) I am alone and my "friend" over the past couple years has been 100 proof vodka. Especially since my mom died of this disease, unexpectedly, 6 months ago. I have a wonderful fiance' who is behind me and wants me to be sober also, but he is gone 5 days a week with his job. He is trying to find a local job so he can be home with me. My kids have both moved out within the past 2 months, we have a nice relationship and they are both happy to know I am trying to get sober again. I really don't want to pick up but I have had this headache and stomach churning along with depression from HE_ _! I just would like to hear other's experience, strength and hope. How long will this last? I do like waking up in the morning and not having to worry about if I did something stupid, called someone and need to apologize, etc. I just have no interest in anything, I cannot even motivate myself to go to the store half the time. Thanks for all the responses in advance!

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

Did your depression just suddenly start 4 days ago? If so, then it will likely clear up as you continue to recover. If you were depressed before that, maybe it might be an idea to talk to your dr and get his advice.

Early recovery does take patience and also changes in lifestyle are often needed. Maybe you could try some kind of exercise program or make some other changes in your life.

northwoods

Hi, I'm on day 3 of quitting the vodka. I haven't got my appetite back and my stomach is still doing a dance but I picked up some strawberries and some fresh veggies and am trying to eat a little at a time. also been drinking water steadily that seems to help, just trying to flush the poison out of my system. I'm going to make some chicken soup for dinner. If your feeling alone come here to talk why don't you? I'm here alone too and this forum is helping me a lot. This is my 1st friday night and so far so good I think I am gonna make it. I wish you well!

Blood500

I once heard a old timer from the program say if you have been depressed for yrs upon yrs, drinking, drugging etc, at worst wouldn't it be worth being sober and depressed for one yr if you knew you where getting better and working towards your goal. I can understand what this person was saying and in a way I agree but I do believe if you are that depressed for that long sober there is many things you can try to contend the depression, but in the end, in the simplest way he is right ya know. Fight for your life, give yourself time to heal. You say you have been doing this your whole life basically, isn't it crazy to think in 4 days something is going to drastically change for the better. Fight the fight, talk to a doctor, psych. dr. go to a meeting use whatever tools you can to stay sober and better your life. After a year if it is still that bad drugs and alcohol will still be there (sarcasm). I wish you the best.

FHB1

Hey Dawn, congratulations!! Four days is fantastic!! I have almost sixty days sober now and when I was on day four I felt similar to the way you describe in your post. I am 41 years old and used alcohol, marijuana and pills pretty much everyday since I was a teenager. I can tell you from my own experience that if you stay sober, you will begin to feel better both mentally and physically. It doesn't happen overnight. I did not feel good at all when I was on day four, but with each passing day I began to feel better and better. As I approach day sixty, I am really beginning to feel great!

Have you looked into attending AA meetings? I was reluctant to go at first, but now I really enjoy the meetings. They really help. The meetings also give me something to do when I have time on my hands and being around people with the same common goal - to stay sober - is a really positive and motivating thing. Hang in there Dawn, it will get better. What you are feeling now is completely normal. Congratulations on four days!!

dawn197

Thanks for all the encouragement and support. I used frequently from 14yrs old until 18yrs...then I started a family and got married. From there I would go out maybe once or twice a year and black out from drinking (but I thought that was ok and normal). I stopped doing that after about 3 years and stayed sober until I was 33 (I am now 40). I had an injury and was prescribed percocet/vicodin. Well that sent me on an adventure, I used and ended up in rehab 2 years later. I got on suboxone and went to meetings. Then, after I hit a year of sobriety, I started slipping. Didn't go to meetings anymore and put everything before my sobriety. I was not happy in my marriage and used that as an excuse as for my using. (i did leave after almost 20 yrs) I have been taking adderall in binges over the past 6 months, drinking daily for about 2 years (blacking out nightly since mom;s death) and take suboxone. I really did have long stretches of sobriety and my kids (ages 19 and 22) were shocked when they saw me drunk for the first time a year and a half ago...they thought it was "cool". My daughter lived with me up until a month ago (she is off to school) and was/is very worried about my drinking, she is happy to see that I am doing something about it. My son stayed with his dad, but he just got his own place several months ago...he didn't see that I was loaded every night, i amsure he knows because I would talk to him on phone but not remember the next day. Sorry for the long post, just trying to tell a little bit of my story. Thanks for listening!

tanja

Welcome Dawn,

I am only on day 12. I am still not feeling 100%, but at least now I have a sense of pride in myself sometimes. Whereas, drinking only caused guilt, shame and misery. Just take it one day at a time. Pat yourself on the back for making it to day 4, in spite of a lot discomfort. It takes courage to change.

CaiHong

Hi Dawn,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling bad now. You know enough about getting sober that you know this will pass. Some great support and heartfelt advice here.

CaiHong

artsoul

Welcome dawn and congratulations on your days sober!

The first week or two (for me) was about plowing through and just staying sober, sometimes an hour at a time. I did as little as possible, just as though I was recovering from an illness (which really is the truth.....). Everything felt strange, fuzzy, emotional, and just tough to deal with. The mornings were really great, though......

Feeling tired and unmotivated lasted for a good month, if not more, and I didn't feel totally energized until I had about 3-4 months. There's no real time-line, though, because everyone's experience is a little different.

Apparently, people can still see improvements well past the year mark. So really, you have a lot to look forward to. Keep going!

CarolD

Dawn and Northwoods...

Glad to know you are both heading into a sober future

dawn197

I finally made myself get up out of bed and go to the store. I called my sister on my way to and from the store because I pass the liquor store both ways and didn't want to think about it too much. I made a nice dinner and did some things around the house. My fiance' will be home soon...it is nice to be sober and not try to hide the smell of booze when he gets home. The hurt I see in his eyes when I tell him "I haven't been drinking, I am just tired" really made me feel ashamed and guilty. Tonight, I am clean and have nothing to hide. The headache left but now is back, I am afraid to take my blood pressure (I know it is probably up)...Thanks for listening!