Day One Again
 

I refuse to give up on this. I find it amazing how alcohol has literally become part of my life...right up there with kids,family,friends, and work. I never dreamed there would come a day where I would struggle with not drinking for just ONE day, and feel this overwhelming sense of accomplishment for doing something as inactive as NOT drinking. I woke up this morning committed to not drinking today, much as I do many other days. But I stuck with it this time, and scared as I was (which as much as I feel it, being scared of not drinking makes no logical sense to me) I made it through. I went to a school function, which I usually don't because I just want to be home and drink. But being there just made me see that I could be so much better, that I have been isolating myself and not living my best life by any means. Lately, I just cannot stand my image in the mirror. I've always had issues with my weight, up and down, mostly up, and in the past, I would just hate how I looked because of my weight. But lately, my eyes look dull and bloodshot, my face bloated, just a look of someone who doesn't have it together. My head has just been in a constant fog, of drinking, hangover, lack of good sleep, stress, ugh. I am definately sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
So, day one of many and I'm on my way back. I know it won't be easy. But I simply can't feel like that anymore. It's destroying me, and I love myself, my kids, and my life way too much to live it like this.
I am committed. This site is so encouraging to me, always has been, when I'm willing to stare down this addiction that I've allowed to overtake me. No more. It's time for making some major changes, one day at a time.

I had too many 'day one's.:( But I finally wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to drink and that's when I made it.:) NEVER GIVE UP!!! Never stop trying until you 'get it' or die, cause one of the two will eventually happen.:hug:

Many times I was discouraged and wanted to give up and just drink myself to death but with the love and support of the people here and my addiction counselor I didn't give up and now I'm coming up on two years sober!! :) You can do this!:hug:

listen I am on day 89 and if i can do it you can do it.
i drank everyday. i have two kids and a great job but i was also sick and tired.
i had a rock bottom and that led me to "the decision"

You can do this just hang in there one more day.
It gets easier, i can promise
It wont seem like it but it will

Major changes were definitely the key for me, forabetterlife :)

Welcome to SR :)

D

I have had many 'day one agains'. You are not alone!

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

Welcome back and good luck. You can do this!

We can make a decision to not to let our weakness destroy everything that is great about us. The part that is addicted will try every trick there is to keep the drinking going. It is only in retrospect that I realised the terror that overwhelmed me when I thought of never drinking again was an emotional mirage caused by addiction. Thankfully we can also choose to take it one day at a time. Living sober is living. Previously I was getting by between drinks.

I've had about 500 day ones and am currently on day 8 this time, never stop trying

It was helpful for me to focus on what to do rather than what not to do.

"I'm not going to drink tonight" didn't usually work
"Tonight I am going to work out, take a family walk, drink my new chocolate mint tea and go to bed at 9:30 with a book" yielded better results.

Of course, none of it worked until I really believed in my core that life would be better without alcohol. Really better. Not 'but being able to moderate would awesome!!!!!!!"

You can do it!

Keep picking yourself up and trying again. Even if it takes us 1000 trys all we need is to get it just once.

Congrats on Day one!