defyinggravity

Ever since my former dealer started texting me and especially now that I've blocked his number, I can't stop thinking about weed and especially cocaine. I've considered what excuses I could make up when I call him about why I haven't been answering him and why I blocked him (I came up with some pretty good ones, by the way)...I KNOW I shouldn't. But I can't stop thinking about how much I want to. I'm just not feeling very strong right now and I need a little encouragement...maybe I need to distract myself? argghhh. You guys are the only people with whom I can talk about this...so I have to do all of my venting/thinking out loud here. Thanks for listening, guys!

Dee74

I found this technique helped me with cravings
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

but if you've started to obsess, maybe you need some other support as well?

What other support do you have DG? it might be time to find some or call some in.

whatever you do, though - do not call that number.
D

defyinggravity

I see my therapist tomorrow and will definitely bring this up with her. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, if I start using coke again - I'm done. There's no way I'll survive another bout with that drug. That's what's keeping me from going back right now...in the past, that might not've been a motivation (I wouldn't have cared), but I'm thankful that it is now.

My psychiatrist always tells me to "play the tape through to the end" and that's what I've been trying to do - I know exactly where this will end up. I don't want to go back there.

Dee74

I'm glad you do have some support - use us too DG...you can get through this

D

defyinggravity

I am feeling SO MUCH better today! Haven't wanted to use drugs once and in fact, am realizing all the GOOD things that come from NOT using. I had a great meeting this morning for which I was prepared and clear-headed. And, I'm 25 days sober today!

Dee74

thats great!

D