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New and in desperate need reassurance. I am pregnant and an alcoholic

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New and in desperate need reassurance. I am pregnant and an alcoholic

Old 10-04-2011, 11:45 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thanks so much everyone all of your help is greatly appreciated! I knew you must of misunderatood the autobiography I wrote. I thought everyone was coming off a little strong. I actually. just fought through a big urge with a bottle of sparkling cider and it actually tasted like a champagne bubbly but much more Yummy. Perhaps this would be a great substitute. Thanks again I will update after my meeting!
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Old 10-04-2011, 11:55 AM
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Felixa,

I think you might benefit from AlAnon as well. You had a very rough upbringing and are obviously reacting to some of that in your adult life as well.

Good luck!
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Old 10-04-2011, 11:55 AM
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Just wanted to wish you the best of luck with your recovery and pregnancy!
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:16 PM
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Hi Felixa and congrats on the new baby!

Your post about statistics of baby health with drinking mothers gave me pause. Although I have been reading here for a few years, I (finally) registered to respond to that - for you, and any others who may be reading.

Drinking while pregnant is bad mojo and not something to toss the dice on.

For years, I wondered if I had a problem with alcohol. A co-worker was sharing a story with me that really set those concerns into high gear about how damaging alcohol is to the body. He didn't even know I drank (I was a nights only, private party-for-one home drinker) - that wasn't his point.

At the time of this conversation, he and his wife were in process of adopting their 3rd child, while their 2nd was still in the neo-natal ICU. They partnered with an adoption agency that specialized in placing children of drug users with adoptive homes. Their first child was born to a meth addict, second to a crack mother and the one they were working to finalize was a crack baby as well. At one point in the conversation, alcohol use/abuse came up and I was chocked at what I heard. While crack/meth/heroin babies are born in a very fragile state (many need intensive care in the beginning), the success rate is tremendous in recovery. Not so with children of drinkers. Alcohol syndrome (FES) is not something that they can treat that the baby 'gets over' - babies born with an alcohol impairment live with this for the rest of their lives.

For this reason, alcoholic/drinking mothers had to be screened out by the adoption agency - and because he and his wife were already raising 2 needs children, no child of an alcohol abusing mother would be allowed for consideration for adoption. (Obviously because this is a lot to handle, but also because it would/could take valuable time away from the other children). This was an adoption agency rule, not my co-worker's choice.

Prior to this conversation, I knew alcohol was poison, but never had a clue that it could EVER be more damaging to the body than street drugs. Its legal and all that, right?

Well, it was a wakeup call to me, and hopefully will be a wakeup call to you.

I implore you... Do not mess around with this. Do whatever it takes to keep the booze out of your system while you are carrying this child. FES is not a legacy you need to leave them to deal with for the rest of their lives.

Good luck.
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Old 10-04-2011, 04:41 PM
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Welcome Felixa - I'm glad you've decided you're done

Welcome to you too Aegian - you'll both find a lot of support and ideas here

D
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:24 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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My first meeting was very nerve racking, there was a lot of women there who were so open to speak I felt so shy. I was so nervous so I sat quietly. After the meeting ended a woman approached me and gave me a big hug, her name is sue. She said she was so proud I made this step and handed me a book, my first step is reading the story and going back on Friday. We exchanged numbers and she assured me I would one day be read to speak, until then remind myself God is here for me and to remember the serenity prayer. It felt so amazing that someone reached out to me and acknowledged the scared young lady. I will begin reading today, today is day 9 sober and I plan to keep racking up my sobriety days. I will continue AA and my husband who will be coming home this weekend offered to take me to counseling so he can better understand my hurt. He doesn't want to see me suffer anymore. Thank you all again. Praise God for I have been given a new day.
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:59 AM
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Felixa, I'm glad that you are working on your recovery.
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Old 10-05-2011, 10:37 AM
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You did good, Felixa - Congratulations on nine days sober and making it to a meeting!

Don't worry about being shy..... there's nothing wrong with that. Just accept yourself today.

We're all winners if we get through the day sober....... :day6
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Old 10-05-2011, 11:01 AM
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Welcome

I understand it is hard but keep trying..
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Old 10-05-2011, 11:40 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I will this day and all of the following, not just for me but for my beautiful children and of course my husband. I was told to remind myself everyday is a new day, ask God to give me sobriety and believe in him I shall recover. It will be an everyday struggle but I won't ever give up!
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Old 10-05-2011, 12:08 PM
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Keep a picture of the ultrasound in your wallet/purse, and tape another copy to the steering wheel of your car. It won't be so easy to drive to the liquor store that way.
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Old 10-14-2011, 06:58 PM
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Update; almost 2 weeks sober! Attended 6 AA meetings and have my own counselor. My husband will be home in just 1 more month for thanksgiving and next Saturday is our youngest daughters 1st birthday! Monday is my special testing and full 2011 week anatomy scan to rule out any possible effects doctor assures me all is well, this all being said GOD is so good! I praise him and rejoice in my new life. Thank you all. I shall keep updates. P.s. baby is so strong now you can see her kick, it feels amazing. Her name will be Serenity Lynn
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Old 10-14-2011, 07:51 PM
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x

Last edited by sissy07; 10-14-2011 at 07:56 PM. Reason: I just read her update....my post is not applicable. thanks
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Old 08-01-2017, 06:56 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Awww

Originally Posted by Felixa View Post
Good day everyone. I am a 25 year old mother of two beautiful little girls with one more on the way. I recently married the most amazing man in the world, my savior and inspiration. You would think with all of this positivity around me I would be able to fight my addiction, but I haven't. I have had a rough upbringing. My father abandoned me at 2 my mother was in and out of jail and I suffered many years of physical and mental abuse. Once a honor student and lovable child I grew bitter. Couldn't make any friends growing up as I was constantly moving from home to home, my mother depending on the next man to support us. Only stability I had is when I was with my grandparents. I grew to be out of control emotionally, outbursts at school, suicidal thoughts and constant sleepless nights fighting nightmares. Long story short ALL of that changed when at 17 I became pregnant with my now 8 yr old daughter. Her father too was abusive but I kept on a good path with her in my best interest. Approx 4 yrs later still being young I went through a partying phase that was ongoing for years. I would drink to the point of blackout. My daughter was in safe hands. Got into another abusive relationship, he tries to help me quit but he was so degrading and negative, both of my exes loved to remind me what a piece of **** my family was and how I would amount to nothing.....I finally got away from him. I cut back drinking a lot when I met my now husband. We planned our daughter and I was sober before during and after pregnancy with her praise the Lord. Life has been great my children and husband are such positive influences and they make me strive to do better. I recieved unconditional love and affection...but then just 4 months after my 2nd daughter was born I relapsed and kept binge drinking on and off since (she is now 11 months) during this time we conceived girl #3 but had no acknowledgement until I was already 16 weeks. I have nightmares constantly, I wake up my husband crying in my sleep, depression has worsened. I have such a hard time forgiving my alcoholic parents and the horrible life I once lived that I'm allowing it to destroy the amazing life I have now. I have seeked medical attention and had several tests ran, baby looks and is doing great. But now at 19 weeks I keep having relapses. I managed to stay liquor free for two years my weakness is wine, but in binge amounts. I am seeking help, and reassurance that my child will not suffer for my selfishness. I'm trying my hardest to remain strong and avoid alcohol, triggers are so strong and forthcoming. I have approx 1 binge a week I don't drink everyday and the most I have ever drank was a full bottle to myself. All I drink is red wine, but I need to stop! I don't want to slip up anymore. Please can anyone relate, give advice, reassurance anything. And please I beg you no negativity, I've had enough of that my whole life. Thank you for your time.
Hi, I was reading your post and absolutely know that you're going through horrible feeling. I am 22 weeks today and have been drinking one beer a night the entire time that I've been pregnant. I am trying to put smoke into bed as hard as well every single day I think about not drinking and then I end up getting one beer and drinking it at the end of the night. I know this that I'm starting to get shaky if I don't. They see your OB and be honest with them. The nurse that I talk to today when I called said that they could find out if FAS will be a Factor and this child. Good luck and I'm here if you need to talk
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Old 08-01-2017, 06:58 PM
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I agree

Originally Posted by Terminally Unique View Post
If you are already 16 weeks pregnant, one of those long-term six-month rehab stints would take care of the immediate problem for you until your child is born. I don't often recommend rehab, but in this case, I will make an exception. You need to think about the effects that any further drinking might have on your pregnancy and take immediate action.
I agree that rehab maybe an option for you. I have been considering telling my OB and everyone that I really need to be hospitalized to get this under control. Maybe a controlled environment would be good.
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Old 08-01-2017, 07:01 PM
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Hi and welcome Kfchildress
Just to let you know the post you're replying to is from 2011.

I hope that you are your baby will get a clean bill of health.

Obviously tho you need to stop for both your sakes..rehab sounds like a solution if you can make that happen?

D
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Old 08-01-2017, 07:46 PM
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Hi, when I was pregnant with my two, the drinking hadn't taken such a hold so I could stop during my pregnancies, but to be pregnant now with how my drinking is omg that would be awful, my advice would be go and see your doctor and have a chat, you are not the first or last person to be in a situation like this, first and foremost DONT beat yourself up about it as that will trigger you off, if you have stopped before you can do it again, wishing you all the best
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