animequeen

Do any of you believe in heaven or hell? Last week, after a year of sobriety, I relapsed, and I felt I payed a visit to hell. One night during this relapse, I blacked out, as I was coming out of this blackout, I felt a hand or some sort of force dragging me to this place of complete despair. I fought this as hard as I could, and once I came out of the blackout, I was drenched in sweat, frightened, and vowed to never feel this way again. I had never been so scared in my life!!!

I can't stop thinking about this experience, and it has me so terrified that I quiver!

I would like to hear your thoughts, because I can't seem to make any sense of this?

Anna

I believe that heaven and/or hell exist here on earth, as we choose to live and see our lives.

I hope that you stop drinking and begin to recover.

gr8ful42day

I have had similar experience...more than once (3 x's in my life). My friend and spiritual adviser told me that it was the 'spirit of oppression'. Very interesting. I can totally relate to your experience. Google that and see if it makes sense to you. I do believe in God, heaven and hell.

I am praying 4 u.

Dee74

Hi animequeen

I haven't had an experience like yours but I certainly remember being utterly terrified, in fear of my very life, from my drinking. It was a life changing experience for me.

You're among friends here - welcome

D

LaFemme

Hi!

I don't know about the heaven and he'll that churches talk about but I believe there are places in this life that resemble them. I believe in God and maybe it was a wake up call for you. I think there is one sure way never to experience that feeling again.

LoftyIdeals

Animequeen...welcome to SR. I'm glad you are here and that you posted. I can only wish that my relapse 28 yrs ago after a year and a half sobriety had resulted in an experience like yours. It might have given me resolve to return to recovery.

I am not only a Christian who believes in the existence of heaven and hell, but I also believe that we live in a realm that is literally enmired in spiritual warfare all around us. I read the other day that satan's greatest trick was getting us to believe that he doesn't exist.

I hope that your experience has kindled not only an awareness of the value of your own sobriety, but also of your concept of eternal spirituality. If you'd like to read more, I'd suggest a book by Howard Storm called, "My Descent into Death". Also, many CS Lewis books would help you in your quest.

Boleo

I have had many "spiritual awakenings" and this does not match any of those. I have many nightmares and this does match many of those.

Spiritual awakenings are more along the lines of new insight (enlightenment), a new sense of serenity (nirodha) or new found joy (ecstasy). They have never taken the form of a negative experience for me.

eddie73

Interesting. I think that all we can account for is the hear and now, you wont get any rewards for worrying about the afterlife either good or bad. I do think that like anna says that heaven and hell are around us here.

sugarbear1

Deep in our souls, we want to live...yours knows you weren't, I don't recall details, but I'll just say I've lived in the hell of my own making when drinking...a vicious slide down to ugly depths, you can change your life today for a beautiful life and future!

ForHim

Wow! I had to post because I believe you were just giving a gift not many of us will get. I too believe in a literal hell. A place of darkness and suffering and despair. If God is light and the creator of all , then the absence of God is complete darkness and evil ... HELL. This is a place that we go if we turn our back on the creator and go our own way. We have a choice ... he doesn't want any to perish but for all to be called his children. Some people think God is unfair to send people to hell "just because" they don't believe or aren't "good enough". This is NOT true! It's the choice you make that determines where you end up. It's not just a punishment from an angry God. It's the natural consequence of turning your back on him. He is light and love and hope and peace. Without him is suffering and darkness and fear. I can't imagine the place you went, but It sounds like God wanted to spare you. He gave you a glimpse of what it would be like ... eternity without him.
Christianity isn't about a bunch or rules you have to follow or else. It means believing in Jesus Christ who loved us so much he we willing to die on the cross for us. FOR YOU. He has already paid the price. All you have to do is believe in him and accept the free gift he offers.
I'm not just saying all this. He truly saved me from my pit of hell. Since I have become a Christ follower ... my life has been so much better! It doesn't mean everything is always peachy keen. But it does mean I'm not alone anymore. He really does offer hope and peace and love and acceptance ... all that we need and more. We just have to accept it

Praying for you friend.

laurie6781

I lived in HE!! right here on earth, for 24 years while I practiced my alcoholism. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

As to Heaven, well I have my own beliefs on that one. I do however, like Anna believe that I can and do make my own life more peaceful, serene, calm, and fun by continuing to grow and change in my own recovery. For a long time now I have had a pretty damn good life!!!!!!!!!!!!

For whatever reason, you had to go try 'it' one more time. Sounds like you got your answer.

Right it down, or copy, paste, and print out your post and keep it handy as a reminder of what your 'last drunk' was like. That alone can do wonders to assist you in finding a 'comfortable' sober way of living.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

EmeraldRose

I know when I'd black out as my conscious became clear I would remember dreams. If you were coming out of a black out dream you may have had a lucid dream thus feeling as though you were living it as you awoke.
Either way you want to perceive your experience its a great reminder of how we don't want to live.

Zebra1275

If you don't drink anymore you won't have to experience this ever again.

gravity

I think you got a glimpse of what your life will be like if you don't deal with your drinking. My physical, spiritual, and mental state after my last bender was pure hell. Never going back there again.