teresac8

I am starting my recovery today. Advise and support would be appreciated. I always start out with good intentions but somehow talk myself out of it. It feels like I have a split personality and the one who wants to drink always wins. I also forget all the reasons I wanted to stop drinking and don't remember the until I start drinking again. It is crazy. Part of me has to be on guard so the other part does not talk me into doing something stupid. Anyone else have this problem?

Dee74

Welcome teresac8
I think most of us can identify with that

I found support really tipped the balance for me - coming here to SR really made a difference for me.

It was much harder for me to apply the same old rationalisations for drinking when I was posting my own story daily and reading everyone elses as well.

Seeing it all in print and using the great support I found here seemed to change the game for me.

I know we can help you too - it's good to have you with us - welcome!
D

Birchgreen

Hi

I'm very very new to SR, and it has really helped me so far. It's good to know that it's not just you.

I totally understand your split personality notion - It has always been my experience - but check out Cognitive Therapy & Rational Recovery. You may find it sounds a bit weird, but it's working for me on many of my problems.

Birch

Opivotal

Welcome teresac8!

You've come to the right place. I agree with Dee, support was paramount for me. When the "other personality" starts playing in your head, why not write down all the reasons you want to drink and the reasons you don't. Sometimes it helps to have it in black and white.
Of course reading and posting here will keep some of those thoughts away.




Best Wishes To You!

bellakeller

Welcome, teresa! Totally. That is exactly how I described myself before I made some changes and started to stay sober. I used to feel like a dual personality.

Anyway. I don't feel like that anymore now that I've put down the booze. It's so much better now.

Stick close.

Much love.

teresac8

Thanks everyone. I look forward to getting to know you all and reading your posts. Glad I don't have to do this alone.

freshstart57

Hi, Teresa. It sounds like you are separating the voice that wants to be sober from the voice that wants to get hammered again, no matter what. There are a lot of us around here that have found our way to sobriety in exactly this way, just like Birchgreen.

Check out the SR forum called Secular-Connections, and also this thread addictive-voice-recognitionfor some opinions and more information about this.

sugarbear1

Welcome to SR!

eJoshua

Welcome to SR!

You have to learn how to distrust that side of you that tells you to drink, and very slowly by fighting it it will shrink away.

Best wishes in your recovery!

teresac8

I like the Rational Recovery idea. I had never thought labeling the addictive voice as a beast.

Anna

Welcome!

I think that recognizing the addict-voice for what it is, is a huge step towards recovery. You can hear it, listen to it, and let it go. It doesn't control you.

wantscontrol

I swear you took the words right out of my mouth. I feel this way to the "T". We can work through this together!!!

teresac8

I am now on day 2. I am not doing too bad. I am going for a long walk to quiet the jitters. I also plan on researching Rational Recovery more. It helps to know the addictive voice is not me and I don't have to listen to it.

ttbp

Hi and welcome x

artsoul

Welcome teresa - glad you decided to quit drinking!

I felt like two people when I was drinking, too. At the end of my drinking, the sane part of me was barely detectable, but day by day it got stronger and the alcoholic voice got weaker. So hang in there - it's worth it!!

ddrayer

I have much the same feelings. I know the poison I am putting into my body can kill me but yet its still a struggle to fight that desire to drink. But thats the addictive power of it. Keep strong!