ludie1969

I would like some advice for things to do but first I need to give some info.
My boyfriend and I both quit smoking and drinking last Sunday night. we are both 42 and for me its been drinking or drugs since i was 15. He pretty much starting drinking heavily 3yrs. age. when i moved in. Everything we did before, we had a beer or cocktail in our hand. i.e. blowing leaves, playing wii, taking a bath, cooking, cleaning house, camping, playing board games, crafts,watching movies, i cannot think of 1 thing we did without beer, etc. in our hand. Besides this, every friend we have drinks, smokes, etc. I know this sounds "pitiful" and i'm not trying to sound that way but I am really stressing out because this is the weekend and I am bored out of my mind. We also recently got a roommate and seems she has a drinking problem also and she has quit too. We kindof all want to stick together and help each other but at the same time not sabotage. So, with that, anyone got ideas on something to do?

TrueYouTrueMe

Welcome to SR. I am new here also. Just quit both my everday beer drinking of 33 years (130 days sober) and my chain smoking as well (12 days smober). It seems you have taken on alot right off the bat by quitting drinking and smoking both. Being you have done both for most of your life this will probably be a very major task for you. Maybe it will be easier for your boyfriend being he has only lived this way for 3 years or so, and your roommate? I do not know the history there but it makes for a third person to suceed.

I would say you need to try everything possible. Pray for the urge to be lifted. Find support groups in your area (I would suggest going to A.A. meetings). Plan as many ways as possible to keep yourself busy doing other things (reading, chores, hobbies, etc...)

If you really want to stop and live sober then you can but it will take a complete change of your life and you have to be 100% willing to do whatever it takes to make that change.

Good luck to you!

zorilla

Hi ludie1969,
Seems we have alot in common.I'm 42 also.My boyfriend and I drank and did drugs while doing everything too;including taking breaks during sex to smoke and drink.
Congrats on 5 days sober!!!Before I got clean it got so bad that the only things I did were drink and take pills.

Are you going to AA meetings?If you've never went;why not go and check one out.
Find something that the three of you like to do where drinking and smoking aren't allowed.

ludie1969

thank you i appreciate the advice! I am planning on going to AA soon. It's nice to know there are lots of people out there that have screwed up things like me. How long before the thought that I will never have fun , party, or be fun again. I really feel bored, did you guys feel like that, like theres nothing to do if i can't get messed up?

TrueYouTrueMe

Of course I have had those feelings. Drinking and partying were in my mind what made my life fun! Boredom can be the biggest obstacle to sobriety. So there is a need to be willing on my part to make a major change.

I am somewhat lucky due to the hobbies I had already (music, spirituality, writing, art) but I also am constantly trying to do new things. Actually I am more so doing new things right now then anything else.

Trying to plan ways to keep busy is very important. I am heading out to a flea market right now but will come back and post more.

I wish you luck! Hang in there! You sound like you want to succeed and you can if you really are willing.

Dee74

Hi and welcome ludie

I did everything with a drink too - it was hard re-adjusting, but I found a lot of support here - in fact I spent a lot of time on SR the first few weekends...

Drinking took away my motivation and imagination - I didn't have to think beyond 'open beer' for many years...but we can get our spark back...it just takes a little time and effort and re-adjustment

There's a lot you can do this weekend ludie - the skys the limit - the only stipulation is alcohol should not be involved

Here's a link to some ideas for sober stuff to do
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support here

D

lushly

I read a lot of recovery stuff. It helps and make me know that sobriety is so much more than just "stopping drinking" Good luck and welcome to SR

Alva

I quit drinking three weeks ago and smoking yesterday. I didn't want to try to do both at once and right now I'm wishing I was still smoking LOL. As for the drinking it was bad the first week as I built anticipation with the weekend drawing near. It lessened the second weekend and even more so this weekend. Try changing up your routine. I found that doing the same old same old wasn't working so well last weekend so I just went for a walk. I too associated everything on the weekends with drinking so it's tough but it gets easier or at least it did for me. Last night my kids had friends over who were drinking and going outside to smoke. I simply went upstairs and watched TV.

Good luck and congrats!

SASA

When I quit drinking I was bored out of my mind. Now after 7 month I always ask myself how I found time to drink, since it seems I have soooo many things to doa round.
I started exercising, playing tennis and especially I spent tons of times around the house doing stuff. I also like to read now and expand my mind by traveling, sightseeing etc.
There are so many things out there you can do. just do not pick up that drink.... (easier said then done, I know)

Hevyn

ludie - congratulations on your decision. It's not an easy one to arrive at! I was also someone who had a drink by my side at all times. We really do have to learn to live in a new way. In the beginning, you'll feel strange without your constant companion - but it will keep getting better and easier as you go.

I remember being angry and resentful when I quit - after all, I'd been drinking my whole life and in the end, never made a move without it. When I found SR I had all sorts of encouragement from people who had been there - and they told me to be patient and kind to myself. It would take time to undo all the damage done, and find a healthy way of living. You can do this!