scary night for me tonight...

Old 09-30-2011, 06:53 PM
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ontherightpath's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
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scary night for me tonight...

So, i sit here on my couch, all alone. the kids are at their aunts house, beca, use tomorrow is the first day of deer season and the husband will be in the tree when i need to go to work... anyways, that was the first thing to tick me off. Secondly, today i have been snippy... way too little sleep this week and much to much anticiaption of everything.... so my hub and i have a texting war about me and expectations and him not being supportive and refusing to talk about our issues. he told me that its not a big f***in deal that i quit drinking and that i need to spend more time at home, rather than at aa meetings or with my sponsor. REALLY??? I told him that my sobriety is more important than burying my head in the bottle to find the answers to my problems and that i go there to get encouragement because it acutally helps me.... so he said he would not stay at home tonight, I told him that was perfect!!!!!! so, i am thrilled he is not here, but i had the battle in my head that i could drink tonight and no one would know. so i texted my sponsor and then called a gf. i knew that if i left the house, even to go to a meeting, i would stop and get wine. so i called and ordered a pizza in and my gf is coming over to watch a movie. she is also in recovery. I just need to recognize that my thoughts were getting manipulative and i got a grasp on it..... it was unbelievably hard, esp since i relapsed last weekend, but i got through it and its gonna be another swell, sober night!!! i pray that you all have the strength to get thru your own cravings tonight!!
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Old 09-30-2011, 07:06 PM
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Way to go for making plans with a sober friend! Sounds like fun!
It really does help to keep things simple and positive - enjoy your evening!
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Old 09-30-2011, 07:24 PM
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Good for you for making the right decision, I so understand the temptation! I am going through my own struggles tonight. There's no chance of my drinking tonight but I'm thinking too far ahead right now (like how will I resist tomorrow?? ) What a cycle, it has to get easier. One day at a time, it really does make sense. Enjoy your movie!
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Old 09-30-2011, 07:33 PM
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I'm sorry you had a hard day—it sounds awful. And I know how easy it would be to seize on it as a convenient excuse to drink.

i could drink tonight and no one would know.
You'd know. And instead, you have every reason to be really proud of yourself. Thanks for sharing that.
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