IWillWin

I went to an after-hours work dinner the other night and our visiting guests (foreign) made it into a booze fest. Before I knew it, one was not enough and I was drunk.

I did not make a fool of myself but apparently it was becoming obvious that I was intoxicated. A friend drove me home and I didn't dance on a table or fall down.

Problem is, my boss is SEETHING and has scheduled a meeting with me at 4pm today EST.

I have already written him that I have entered an out-patient program and admitted to my gross misjudgement.

Also important to note that in 10 years I have NEVER been drunk at a work function. Ever to the point of embarassment or even anyone giving it a second thought.

So ... I also wrote to him a personal apology if I embarassed him with heartfelt and honest words.

Now I have to face him face to face in two hours and I am petrified.

I have been as honest as I can possibly be - but his behavior is not under my control and I am very nervous.

Any suggestions on how to approach this meeting and what to say would be VERY HELPFUL. I am afraid he is going to berate me and I am not in an emotional position to deal with that right now. Still trying to wrap my brain around what happened and why -- and still struggling with the fact that ONE is too many, even when a bunch of foreign business associates are feeding them to you like water.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

Terminally Unique

Supervisors are generally most interested in a solution, not a justification for the problem. I suggest you tell him that you will never drink at a work function again under any circumstances, and that you then follow through with that. I don't know your story, but if you have persistent problems with drinking, consider quitting once and forever.

suki44883

All you can do is be honest and try to assure him that you realize how out of line you were and that it will never happen again. Then, make sure it doesn't.

landminesgirl

I agree with PP - go in there armed with ways in which you will guard against this ever happening again. Tell him about your plan for sobriety, give him information that will assure him that you know you were wrong and that you see it as a serious enough offense to get help. Don't make excuses, like that the drinks were fed to you, or forced on you, or you felt pressure. Say that you are having issues with alcohol abuse and will be talking with professionals for a path towards recovery. Don't get defensive - if he gets mad and berates you, just take it. Process the information and don't react immediately.

If you don't know why you went overboard, tell him you don't know why. Tell him you are going to commit to finding out why and get help immediately.

Good luck to you.

IWillWin

Thank you for the speedy words of wisdom. Yes, I am actually "sober" in everyday life but my work sometimes puts me in positions like the other evening.

I need to find a way to not let this voice in my head say it would be "disrespectful" not to drink with business associates because obviously it ain't working out too well.

I love my sober life and was sick as a dog the next day. Live and learn ...

I've sent him my soultion, my apology, and am now just waiting for him to tell me how disappointed he is in me -- y'all know the drill.

PS - not one person here at work knows I've ever struggled with alcohol abuse and this was so out of character for me I think he is just stunned. I've always been able to either abstain or have one and that is it. Not this time though.

Gotta face the music I guess, but it is so embarassing.

Aeon

Listen, remain calm, apologize, and keep your brain's impulse to "explain" it in check! I think in this case your mighty intelligence and it's awesome ability to rationalize and flank issues with logic is a huge liability lol. Humility is key. Since your responses will likely be of the emotional and defensive sort, the less you say, the better!

IWillWin

Words of wisdom from all ... seems like my best option is to LISTEN and take my medicine.

I am planning to begin by saying prior to anything that I hope he had a chance to read my emails and that I am offering a face-to-face apology first.

Then I will just sit down, answer his questions if any, and hope that I haven't flushed a 20 year prestigious career down the toilet.

Ugh.

shanman422

He may not even be upset, he may be concerned! Go in with your face to face apology and see what he has to say. I find it hard to believe if you have been with the company or your line of work for 20 years successfully he would fire you over 1 circumstance. But I don't know much about your situation at all... but wishing you much luck and please fill us in after!

landminesgirl

I just wanted to check in on you - how did everything go?

humblestudent

Yes, please check in! It seems odd that if you didn't do anything that your boss would be so mad over this. Could it be something else that perhaps got him going? I mean, it is possible, right?