oreocat

My problem with alcohol started when I was in my late teens. My adorable and supportive hubby, threatened to send me away somewhere if I did not quit drinking. That was it, I controled it for 20 years; only having a social drink one every 6 months or so.
Then 2 years ago I turned 40 and had a get together with 2 friends and I lost all of that control. I then started getting drunk once a week or 2. Then family issues with our grown kids started really bad. By the way, I have made sure our kids have never seen me drunk. The kids still have no idea. And in the middle of it all, my hubby had a stroke. I was left to deal with it all on my own.
My husband is doing much better now and able to help take some of the burden. But my drinking has gotten beyond anything I could have imagined. I have been trying to control it but, that has obviously not worked. Yesterday was supose to be my first day sober. I made it till last night, when I got a call that mother was really bad sick and headed to the ER. By the time I got home all I could think about was having a drink, just one. But needless to say I did not stop there. I am starting over today.

Birchgreen

Keep going - you've done it before, you can do it again. Just remember that for us there is no such thing as "just one". How you managed for 20 years with the occasional drink is quite beyond me. You obviously have the most incredible strength. Summon that strength now! You know you can do it.

Buelah

One is too many, 20 is not enough. Even though it doesn't seem like it, but sober eyes will get you through difficult times much easier in the long run.

Sorry about your hubby and your Mom being sick. You have your hands full. But, your husband needs you and your Mom needs you....sober. You're heading in the right direction by being here. Lots of good, strong people that have a lot of experiences and advice that will make you think and make you stronger.

Hugs to you.

oreocat

I am going to see my pastor today, for some much needed help.

Buelah

That is a great way to get on the right path. Be well.

sugarbear1

Is your pastor a recovering alcoholic? It helps when you talk with others who have been where you are!

Welcome to SR!

sugarbear1

Alcoholics Anonymous District 90

Threshold

Welcome Oreo, so glad you found your way here, and congratulations on a fresh new start.

Hevyn

Hello oreocat! It's wonderful to have you here with us.

I relied on alcohol to see me through bad times, to help me celebrate good times. It was my friend and my crutch - I didn't know how to make a move without it. In the end, my friend turned on me and wouldn't let me out of it's clutches. I was trapped and terrified. I knew there had to be a life beyond being numb and stupid. I had to reach out for help, and SR gave me the courage I needed to break free.

You say you've been trying to control it. In the end, I had zero control. I'd start out vowing to have 2 drinks and end up in a blackout. It was too dangerous and life-threatening for me to continue. It was much easier to stop all together and admit I couldn't touch it. I hope you'll find the encouragement you need here, & I'm glad you've reached out for help.

Dee74

Hi oreocat

I'm really sorry for all the stresses and strains in your life.

I dealt with my stresses and strains by drinking for 20 years. It was my one and only coping mechanism.

It took me a while to develop others once I put the drink down - but I did
I know you will too

I'm glad you're looking for support - I think that's very important

You'll find a lot of that here too - welcome to SR

D

oreocat

I am not sure if he is a recovering alcoholic or not. I do know that he has had a hard road in life and he uses those experiences to help others.

fallingwater

Welcome Oreocat! It's good to have a relationship with someone like a pastor that you can trust and seek guidance from! I sometimes wish I was more religious in order to seek such guidance but good luck to you and this place is great when you need a few encouraging words!

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!