conquering fear - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-27-2011, 03:48 PM   #1 (permalink)
ventura47's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ventura california
Posts: 43

conquering fear

This is day four of being sober after a constant year of drinking. I think one reason I drink is the old adage "liquid courage" I have never been able to stand up for myself, even as a child I was pushed around by another girl that was even smaller than I. For me drinking did help. But sometimes I would take it overboard and be a downright "B" . Thats just one part of my drinking. But now I have one in paticular thing I have to do tomorrow. I recenlty was let go after a few weeks working as a catering cook. I was told it was because they had no hours for me and were sorry, they would keep me in mind. The head chef, a bit of a wack job herself" told me that I just did not have the skills. Deep inside I fear it might be the couple times I drank on the job and they may have smelled the alcohol, but no one ever said anything to me, I know it was wrong, I drank because I was nervous about the job, habit, thought I could get away with it, made be a better worker, I dont know. I talked the owner into giving me a chance to show them what I could do, she agreed and on the day I was to show up she texted me not to come in. Said they had some venue come up. I was ok with that, I called and emailed her for the last two weeks with no reply. One reason is because they have my Steel, very expensive, I left there. My shame and fear of being confronted by them has kept me from getting it. But when I got sober I knew I had to. I finally got them to respond and tomorrow I have to go there and pick it up. But you know, this sight has helped me not to be as ashamed.

Wish me luck, first step of many
ventura47 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ventura47 For This Useful Post:
CaiHong (09-27-2011), firestorm090 (09-27-2011), LaFemme (09-27-2011), ReadyAndAble (09-27-2011)
Old 09-27-2011, 03:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
CaiHong's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,306
Hi Ventura,

Thanks for posting, I could really relate to what you wrote. The fear intermingled with the shame. Good on you for making that call and arranging to get your equipment back.

I am really beginning to realize I have a real fear of people. I had never articulated this before and a lot of my actions were/are ruled by this fear. Being sober I can see this and am able to do something about it. Being aware of it is the first step.

You are going to love being sober. Do you have any support other than this forum?

Congrats on the 4 days.

All the best
CaiHong is offline  
Old 09-27-2011, 04:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
Dee74's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 180,538
Blog Entries: 1
Congratulations on day 4

I was never able to stand up for myself either - the work I've done on myself since I've gotten sober has really helped me with issues like that tho...I hope you'll find the same, more and more

Dee74 is offline  
Old 09-27-2011, 08:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
LaFemme's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Congratulations on day 4 and facing your fears. Getting sober has allowed me to not only face my fears but go out and slay them. The trick is to start with the small fears and work your way up to the big ones.

When I got sober it was enough to face my fear of getting out of bed in the morning. Today I signed up for an acting class...not becUse I want to be an actor (he'll no!) but becUse public speaking terrifies me!
Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy! - Ren & Stimpy

There is no room for fear in a grateful heart.
LaFemme is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to LaFemme For This Useful Post:
ReadyAndAble (09-27-2011)
Old 09-27-2011, 10:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
Dee74's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 180,538
Blog Entries: 1
to avoid confusion, there's actually another thread on this topic here:

please feel free to share on that one

Dee74 is offline  
Closed Thread

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:55 PM.