Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK Black Country
Posts: 94
1 day at a time, I had a terrible weekend went into black out, found myself in a family situation I couldn't cope with. Lots of demon inn the past and booze is maki g things worse. OH is a heavy drinker so this is not going to be easy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: near London, UK
Posts: 582
Youve made a good start coming here - you'll get lots of good advice and support so keep reading and posting especially when you are struggling. If you were a very heavy frequent drinker you should see a Dr as just stopping cold turkey can be dangerous.
Im going to try and sleep now but feel free to message me tomorrow if you want to talk more. Im from the UK as well and been sober nearly 4 months now -after trying for over 4 years to quit and not getting to 2 weeks until this time. I come here alot for support and go to AA.
Im sure others will be along to welcome you and help out. I dont have an OH so nobody in my house will be buying booze but im sure there are many in a similar situation to you who can tell you how they have still managed to quit despite having heavy drinking OHs.
Best of luck for tonight, hope you are not feeling too rough, I'll be back on in the morning.
Im going to try and sleep now but feel free to message me tomorrow if you want to talk more. Im from the UK as well and been sober nearly 4 months now -after trying for over 4 years to quit and not getting to 2 weeks until this time. I come here alot for support and go to AA.
Im sure others will be along to welcome you and help out. I dont have an OH so nobody in my house will be buying booze but im sure there are many in a similar situation to you who can tell you how they have still managed to quit despite having heavy drinking OHs.
Best of luck for tonight, hope you are not feeling too rough, I'll be back on in the morning.
Glad you are here. You will find much support here. You are not alone. We do recover.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hi Tiggy - welcome to the family. It's wonderful you've seen the light and want a better life for yourself.
I hope you'll be able to get some sleep - I know many of us struggle with that in the beginning. We look forward to hearing more about you. Posting on SR helped get me past some difficult times. You aren't alone with this anymore - we are here to help and listen.
I hope you'll be able to get some sleep - I know many of us struggle with that in the beginning. We look forward to hearing more about you. Posting on SR helped get me past some difficult times. You aren't alone with this anymore - we are here to help and listen.
Keep On Keeping On
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 73
Welcome! I also always had problems sleeping if I didn't drink before sleeping but it will soon go away. Don't cave. You will be exhausted for a few days but soon your body will need the sleep. A few days without sleep is better than a lifetime of drunkenness. 
This place is great and has been a blessing for me.
This place is great and has been a blessing for me.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Tiggy -
I'm glad you're reaching out here..... The nights aren't so great in the first days, but just resting can make a huge difference. It will get better. Just focus on getting sober right now and do get medical attention if it gets too hard.
Keep reading/posting, too.......... We're all behind you!
I'm glad you're reaching out here..... The nights aren't so great in the first days, but just resting can make a huge difference. It will get better. Just focus on getting sober right now and do get medical attention if it gets too hard.
Keep reading/posting, too.......... We're all behind you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK Black Country
Posts: 94
good morning, im at my desk feeling not too bad. My stomach feels horrible. Im seeing my GP tomorrow. Ive struggled with untreated depression all my life and i think the drink was my way of coping but also made things worse. Dr gave me citalopram a few months ago but Im afraid family relationships are just terrible, not really because of my drinking. I only do that at home, but I get terrible anxiety. Which is odd because I work at a very high level in health care, have to deal with people all day long but somehow am role playing so they dont really ever meet the real me. Im going to buy some bottles of squash at lunch time to have around tonight. OH will be polishing off several bottles of wine as usual so I need to have something else to drink- thank you all for listening
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK Black Country
Posts: 94
Ok folks here goes, this is my sorry story but before you read it you need to know that Im a survivor but as Ive gotten older all of this got back into my head and even though Im not indanger any more I cant deal with it. I though I had burried it all for years and now Im in a crisis its all back to haunt me.
I'm 50 and for as long as I can remember. I've struggled to make and keep friends, I am a professional person who can play a role at work to get through. At the moment I'm not sure I can cope with people anymore, but I have to. I feel like going to sleep and never waking up but I know that it would devastate my husband. I've had two suicide attempts in the past not cries for help. I cried when !I woke up in hospital and found that I couldn't even do that properly. Im on Citalopram 20 and for the last few months have been much better, but a night with my family has brought me back to where I started. I feel totally useless no confidence can't sleep and sick with anxiety.
I know I'm rambling but if it keeps me safe, even if no one replies, I can offload anonymously.
I was regularly beaten up as a child by my mother and 2 of my sisters, humiliated and spent hours locked in my room to keep them away from me. I was the odd kid with mad hair NHS glasses who had her head in book so didn't have to interact.
Age 12 I was raped by a friends uncle and was unable to tell anyone, particularly my Mother, I couldn't bear it.
I left home age 17 and ended up in a bed sit where the landlord thought I was fair game, he didn't get very far I turned into a wildcat. He threw me out so lived on the street for a year luckily the street girls looked after me and kept me out of trouble
I got married the 1st time age 19, big mistake. Apparently it's common for women who had abusive childhoods end up in abusive marriages. I must be textbook. Eventually after8 years if marriage and increasing violence I filed for divorce. He found out before I could leave locked me in the house for 3 months, threw me downstairs and broke my ankle, smashed my head into the wall and cracked my skull and without medication or medical attention my asthma got very bad, I lost my baby but I eventually got away. He tracked me down broke into the flat I was staying in and was trying to throw me off the balcony 13th floor when a musician friend arrived and stopped him. Ex husband eventually went to prison for assaulting another woman.
Im now married to a lovely man but still have nightmares all these years later and I'm struggling to cope
Ive never told anyone the whole sorry story, hubby knows some of it. On the surface Ive done really well, trained as a nurse, went to uni age 40 and in 3 years got BSc(hons) and an MSC. Hubby family a lovely people and Ive been accepted well. we've been together for 16 years. I was not able to have anymore children which is a great sadness to me but have 2 wonderful step children whom I adore. So really whilst I had a very traumatic start in life, Im now undoing all my good work by drinking and getting myself into a mess. Hubby is a very heavy drinker and wilst he is a lovely man will not be giving me any support in my efforts to stay sober.
Im sorry for rambling
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiggy;105932289/
I'm 50 and for as long as I can remember. I've struggled to make and keep friends, I am a professional person who can play a role at work to get through. At the moment I'm not sure I can cope with people anymore, but I have to. I feel like going to sleep and never waking up but I know that it would devastate my husband. I've had two suicide attempts in the past not cries for help. I cried when !I woke up in hospital and found that I couldn't even do that properly. Im on Citalopram 20 and for the last few months have been much better, but a night with my family has brought me back to where I started. I feel totally useless no confidence can't sleep and sick with anxiety.
I know I'm rambling but if it keeps me safe, even if no one replies, I can offload anonymously.
I was regularly beaten up as a child by my mother and 2 of my sisters, humiliated and spent hours locked in my room to keep them away from me. I was the odd kid with mad hair NHS glasses who had her head in book so didn't have to interact.
Age 12 I was raped by a friends uncle and was unable to tell anyone, particularly my Mother, I couldn't bear it.
I left home age 17 and ended up in a bed sit where the landlord thought I was fair game, he didn't get very far I turned into a wildcat. He threw me out so lived on the street for a year luckily the street girls looked after me and kept me out of trouble
I got married the 1st time age 19, big mistake. Apparently it's common for women who had abusive childhoods end up in abusive marriages. I must be textbook. Eventually after8 years if marriage and increasing violence I filed for divorce. He found out before I could leave locked me in the house for 3 months, threw me downstairs and broke my ankle, smashed my head into the wall and cracked my skull and without medication or medical attention my asthma got very bad, I lost my baby but I eventually got away. He tracked me down broke into the flat I was staying in and was trying to throw me off the balcony 13th floor when a musician friend arrived and stopped him. Ex husband eventually went to prison for assaulting another woman.
Im now married to a lovely man but still have nightmares all these years later and I'm struggling to cope
Ive never told anyone the whole sorry story, hubby knows some of it. On the surface Ive done really well, trained as a nurse, went to uni age 40 and in 3 years got BSc(hons) and an MSC. Hubby family a lovely people and Ive been accepted well. we've been together for 16 years. I was not able to have anymore children which is a great sadness to me but have 2 wonderful step children whom I adore. So really whilst I had a very traumatic start in life, Im now undoing all my good work by drinking and getting myself into a mess. Hubby is a very heavy drinker and wilst he is a lovely man will not be giving me any support in my efforts to stay sober.
Im sorry for rambling
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiggy;105932289/
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,597
You're more than welcome to ramble 
A lot of people drink to self-medicate and also to deal with a history of abuse. I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. Are you in counselling or therapy? Learning to deal with our emotions and traumatics pasts in sobriety is something that many of us need support with. We learned to deal with it by drinking over every difficult emotion or memory, I think.
Nothing will be improved by continuing to drink, no matter how difficult sobriety may be in the short term.
Keep reading and posting here - there is a lot of support available.
A lot of people drink to self-medicate and also to deal with a history of abuse. I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. Are you in counselling or therapy? Learning to deal with our emotions and traumatics pasts in sobriety is something that many of us need support with. We learned to deal with it by drinking over every difficult emotion or memory, I think.
Nothing will be improved by continuing to drink, no matter how difficult sobriety may be in the short term.
Keep reading and posting here - there is a lot of support available.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
((((Tiggy)))))
Glad you are here. your will to survive is gonna take you far, it seems to me. I am so sorry for the crappy things you suffered. This is a wonderful place, lots of people who understand and care. good for you dear. keep posting.
hugs,
chicory
Glad you are here. your will to survive is gonna take you far, it seems to me. I am so sorry for the crappy things you suffered. This is a wonderful place, lots of people who understand and care. good for you dear. keep posting.
hugs,
chicory
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