It Almost Ended...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Maybe a good time to stop drinking and learn how to deal with your emotion sober. When you drink to feel better is when you drink to avoid your emotions. This is very unhealthy and can hurt your body by alcohol abuse and keeping all your emotion inside until it all comes out and you snatch.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
Bayliss,
From what you describe, your BF seems to have handled it fairly well, and he is giving you an opportunity to get a handle on this. I think you mentioned previously that you've only been drinking for about three years, so I'm going to be blunt here and tell you that this is only the beginning. Things may look rough now, but I would wager that even at this point, you probably can't imagine what lies ahead.
If you don't quit, you will destroy yourself.
From what you describe, your BF seems to have handled it fairly well, and he is giving you an opportunity to get a handle on this. I think you mentioned previously that you've only been drinking for about three years, so I'm going to be blunt here and tell you that this is only the beginning. Things may look rough now, but I would wager that even at this point, you probably can't imagine what lies ahead.
If you don't quit, you will destroy yourself.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Hey Bayliss --
Showing signs of wanting to quit/being conflicted about quitting is the hallmark of addictive behavior. There are two types of drunks: those who are in active denial and those who realize that they are drunks. The latter is a lot more common (IME) than the latter.
It's easy to admit that we have a problem and even say that we want to do something about it, it takes real strength to actually carry that out. I know that you have that strength or at least you have access to it, so if you choose to make a solid decision to quit I know you will be successful. I know because I was a lot like you -- wanting to quit but not being able to carry it out. I managed to make it work somehow, but the thing you have to do is make a serious commitment to stay clean no matter the cost (BF or no BF), and then make a plan to stay sober. Without those two elements you won't have any success.
Keep in mind that quitting is always a leap of faith, and unfortunately it's a leap of faith that gets harder to make the longer you stay embroiled actively in your addiction. It will never feel 100% right to stop drinking, otherwise you wouldn't be an alcoholic.
Best wishes, keep posting!
Showing signs of wanting to quit/being conflicted about quitting is the hallmark of addictive behavior. There are two types of drunks: those who are in active denial and those who realize that they are drunks. The latter is a lot more common (IME) than the latter.
It's easy to admit that we have a problem and even say that we want to do something about it, it takes real strength to actually carry that out. I know that you have that strength or at least you have access to it, so if you choose to make a solid decision to quit I know you will be successful. I know because I was a lot like you -- wanting to quit but not being able to carry it out. I managed to make it work somehow, but the thing you have to do is make a serious commitment to stay clean no matter the cost (BF or no BF), and then make a plan to stay sober. Without those two elements you won't have any success.
Keep in mind that quitting is always a leap of faith, and unfortunately it's a leap of faith that gets harder to make the longer you stay embroiled actively in your addiction. It will never feel 100% right to stop drinking, otherwise you wouldn't be an alcoholic.
Best wishes, keep posting!
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
I was given an ultimatum by my wife soon after our baby girl was born. I did everything I could back then (AA, steps, therapy, books.....) and managed to stay sober for 7.5 years. That was more than 22 years ago. I eventually went back to recreational drinking that escalated into full blown alcoholism in no time. All along while remaining functional and in the closet.
The years of alcohol abuse took their toll, and eventually the lie caught up with me. Years of alcohol abuse destroyed my health, my soul, my being. I am sober now, not because of my wife's threat, but because I could not see myself growing old while lying, hiding, covering up, living the dark life that alcoholism brings.
Doing what I always knew I had to do to live a sober life has been relatively easy, once I realized that the problem was all within me and that I had the power to change it.
The years of alcohol abuse took their toll, and eventually the lie caught up with me. Years of alcohol abuse destroyed my health, my soul, my being. I am sober now, not because of my wife's threat, but because I could not see myself growing old while lying, hiding, covering up, living the dark life that alcoholism brings.
Doing what I always knew I had to do to live a sober life has been relatively easy, once I realized that the problem was all within me and that I had the power to change it.
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