GettingStronger2

I cannot answer whether you should go or not go. I am in AA. i love it. I went to quit drinking, as i had no idea how to do that and figured i would go see what other alcoholics had done. I didn't know how life changing it would be for me.

If you are curious or interested, go to a few meetings. If you don't think you want to go, don't. That simple. The only path you need to sobriety is the one that keeps you sober.

laurie6781

Yes Carol I do remember. I guess you and I and others we know both on line and in person have always been open to 'new' or 'different' methods that might help us to obtain and maintain a sober way of living.

I too have incorporated a lot of CBT into my 'tool box' that keeps me 'moving forward' in life sober and clean and ENJOYING life.

Love and hugs,

IndaMiricale

Hey brother good to see and hear everything still well

Like most would say if you want to try something differnet go , if you dont , dont.

I personally love my different meetings, i really enjoy surrounding myself with drunks and addicts. Just we get to talk and party this time without all the cr ap lol


so whatever road you choose , you know it stay sober and enjoy life ,

least

I used to go to meetings but rarely do anymore. Don't feel the need. And I never worked the steps as laid out in the big book, tho my counselor says I worked them in a psychological way with her. I've spent the last 21 months working on myself, learning how to be happy with myself and stay sober. I've been doing both pretty darn well.

If you're curious, go to several meetings. AA isn't for everyone but has saved millions of lives from the misery of alcoholism. I believe that any method can work if you give it your all.

Threshold

I went to NA when I first got clean. I was clueless, lonely, and it was really imperative for me to have someone around to tell me, yeah, it's like this for all of us, you'll be ok.

After six months, I moved to a place where there are no NA meetings, so...I am working the steps, with a sponsor, but no meetings and faces and phone lists.

I use SR as my support group. I come here and have no choice but to behonest with myself when I read and post, and know that I am really not that different from the good people here.

I need to do more than stop using. That is where I am. I am finding the steps of the 12 step program to be helping me find my way. It's not the same doing them like this, without the meetings, in some ways, I like it better.

I tended to get caught up in the drama, politics, etc. I got distracted from focusing on my recovery. Here, well, I am pretty alone...and I STILL find ways to distract myself, but...there is no tv, no radio, and fewer people to focus on, so...it helps me keep my nose to the grindstone.

I've relapsed in and out of the rooms, and others have gotten and stayed clean both in and out of the rooms. AA is a tool, an option, but there are no guarantees one way or another. THere is no guarantee that someone in a 12 step will recover and no guarantee that someone who is not in one will fail.

Do what keeps you clean and keeps you growing.

ElvisInASkirt

So much great advice in here. Continue to do what works for you and enjoy the process!

EmeraldRose

Ryan, we all have different pathes to follow hopefully arriving at the same destination. Nodrinkville, USA. The week I quit drinking, AA was the only option and I couldn't wait to go. Friends pick me up and I strutted right in that building and I was gonna stay quit.
But the next stop in my journey was rehab...I found counseling and went for 6 weeks. I stopped AA because rehab fell on the same night. Then came aftercare...I stopped that when my work schedule changed -and I had to stop AA completely. Life changes, things happen, situations and new people are placed in our lives that keep us changing and thinking and evolving.
I believe that my journey was influenced by my higher power. I believe that things were placed in my life when I needed it. I was keen enough to take advantage of it but knew when to move on and change.
Point being, you have your own thought process, your own influences and it sounds to me as though you are bright enough to continue the journey. Maybe you are looking for something new, something more...doesn't have to be AA just because that's what others do. You'll find what it is when the time is right but in the meantime, keep your eyes open for those opportunities and people that can influence and freshen your sobriety and your life.

Itchy

Ryan,
I am connecting to some of what you are going through. I too had few cravings and my single mindedness has gotten me this far with the help of my docs, my family, AA and my friends here. When I say my docs I mean medical docs. I went to AA when I got out of detox and joined here both on my own. I stopped going to AA regularly after three months of twice a week with a wonderful little home group who were shocked that I was not going every day somewhere as many of them do. I never got around to getting a sponsor and didn't work the steps per se as I lived them and had no issues they would resolve.

I have seen and read here about people that love AA, don't love it, and everything in between. Ryan it is so accessible! Free to boot! Why are you sitting around wondering? If you go I promise you won't catch an infectious disease. They have not eaten a newcomer since the old pygmy group using a fake AA meeting were arrested for having people for dinner. I did manage to resist their attempts at hypnosis and mind control, and found out that they were no longer making people leave their homes and chant on street corners begging for the organization. Really they look like normal people! Just stop by one meeting and you will not have to say "I am Ryan and I am an Alcoholic" unless you want to. The red hot coals being applied to your feet have nothing to do with your decision to say it.

Sound silly? Of course that was.

I loved AA for the camaraderie and being able to talk face to face about my feelings and problems, with people just like me with no hiding or fear of judgment. Maybe you can survive a trip to AA, you might even like it. It wasn't a long term thing for me but definitely worth seeing it first hand. And I made a few friends to boot. It worked as a stepping stone for me, and for others it is a lifelong necessity, but we both got the same thing with it in the end, our sobriety.

One other thing Ryan, thanks for this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9tdoTGDgE4 I still play it when I need a boost! Made!

SaraMichelle

I say...AA works for some and other things work for other people...however! If you feel like you need the support of other alcoholics AA is a great way to find that.

Nirvana1

I stayed sober the first 93 days just using will power and SR. I didn't have many friends or a girlfriend, as I had just moved away from everything that I know.

While I didn't pick up a drink those first 3 months, my life was pretty miserable. I had absolutely no outlet to channel any emotions, and really no one to talk to about anything that came up in my life.

I got a little help from a very special person, who suggested I give AA a shot. That was all I had to do, try out AA. For me, it didn't seem like a big deal and since I still never talked to any non-drinkers, it felt comfortable knowing there was going to be a room full of people just like me.

So I went into my first meeting and just said hi to a few people. I only told one person it was my first AA meeting, and I didn't announce I was new because I was past 90 days sober. Well this one person introduced me to several people and I got a few phones numbers from younger people there who were close to my age (28).

In a nutshell, I have met many great people, worked with a sponsor who took me through the 12 steps thoroughly, and have honestly been able to take a whole different view on life.

I have been sober for close to 10 months now. I would rate my first 3 months of sobriety, which was done by will power as a 2/10, while I would rate my AA/SR sobriety as an 11/10. I know my situation is different, but being able to have countless real life people to bounce ideas off and get me through some tough situations (loss of girlfriend, job layoff, car died, funeral, etc) has been an absolute God send.

Everyone kept saying how good my life would get by working the AA program, and I couldn't have been more skeptical. I kept pushing through tough times, and put probably more effort into recovery than I did drinking. I am at such inner peace today, it is hard to describe.

Don't get me wrong SR has been super awesome, and I love being able to come on here and get/give help. For me, experiencing AA and using SR has been the best combination I could have ever hoped for. You see you don't have to give up any SR time or change any views you already have when you go to AA. No one is going to push anything on you, and if they try, just be polite and do what feels comfortable.

You will get a lot of advice and opinions about this subject, but from my experience I would try out AA and just see if you like any of what it has to offer.

PaulPencoed

Hi Ryan,

I have been going to AA meetings nearly every evening for the last couple of months now. I hated the idea that I was an alcoholic and the thought of the 'final humiliation' of attending AA kept me a drunk for a long time!

However, once I started going I found the meetings to be an enormous help. To hear the stories and advice of others in the same situation and how they have come to terms and deal with it is extremely useful to me.

The meetings are nothing like I imagined they would be. I actually have a good time there and now look forward to catching up with my new friends. There is laughing and joking, even though the message is serious.

I now see AA not as a way to stop drinking, but as a way to find how to deal with life and my thoughts, a way to change myself instead of trying to change the world! Life without drink is good, but only if we change out behavior patterns. I am still a 'dry drunk', but attending AA helps me to understand the need for change, so that life can be better!

I would seriously give it a go and not expect to 'get it' on the first occasion.

CarolD

Ryan...
As you have shared before....your Mom was in AA so you were around the program growing up.
I'm wondering if that has any bearing on why you won't go?

No need to answer me....just think about that possibility please.

wibble

I was going to post almost exactly this.

Its certainly worth trying. It works for some not for others.

I've always found meetings to be very friendly and welcoming for new comers.

I do know alcoholics who refuse to attend AA because they know it'll stop them drinking and they prefer denial.

CarolD

PaulPencoe....Welcome to our recovery community....

Well done on your early sober time...

Dee74

welcome to SR PaulPencoed

D

newwings

Hey Ryan...you and I go back a while. Glad you are over the anxiety hump and feeling good! It's great to see you back on here. I was blown away reading your post, because I've been losing sleep thinking about the EXACT SAME THING! Everything you wrote, I completely relate to. Every single word. Am I a real alcoholic because I managed to quit without too much of struggle? I definitely AM, I know that I am. I feel my struggle was WHEN I was drinking, and not now. Why was it so easy for me to put down that glass? I don't know, but maybe nearly dying did it for me. So many questions....!

I don't need the structure of AA to stay sober, absolutely not. I'm there, I feel good. I feel like I'm maintaining my sobriety in many different ways, and it feels great. I'm finally taking care of ME. I've fixed lots of things that were wrong, and I'm coming to terms with things I can't fix. Life is good.

...but sometimes it's a bit lonely. If I could go to AA every now and then, and use it solely as a place to meet and chat with sober people, I would, but it feels fraudulent to go there with no intention of working the steps. I mean, I really DON'T want to work the steps. I couldn't fake it in a meeting. I'm very happy as I am, in terms of who me really is. The 'ism' of my alcohol use seems to have disappeared. It's not part of me any more. Obviously, if my 'plan' isn't cutting it for me, I'd be quite prepared to throw my hands up and say, 'yes, this is what I need', but right now, I'd be using AA purely for the social aspect, and that would become painfully clear pretty immediately. I don't know how ethical that would be.

Any thoughts, anyone?

yeahgr8

There is a huge percentage of AA members who don't work the steps but go to meetings, some of whom will stay, some will go, some will drink again, some will die and some will get to the point where they have to work the steps so i would say go to the meetings...the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking after all.

If you do attend meetings then you can benefit from the support etc.

Remember the steps are not just for stopping drinking sure they remove the mental obsession to drink but after that they become a way of life that counter the unmanageable aspects of our lives e.g. money, relationships etc that a lot of us struggle with when stopping drinking.

Regardless though you have a plan happy with your sobriety and i hope that you remain that way for the rest of your life so, at the moment, you have no desire to work the steps which is fine. I would put a caveat in my head that i will attend meetings for all the benefits and if i drink one more drink or get to the point where i am constantly anticipating doing so that i will just jump in and work the steps...you will be attending meetings so will be in the right place.

Hope that makes sense?

My own experience was that i had to work the steps, i was backed into a corner...drinking didn't work anymore and i had tried so many times to stay sober and failed. I wasn't prepared to live my life with cravings and triggers, y'know avoiding places and people for the rest of my life, keep thinking how well i am doing for not drinking like a loony, going to events with alcohol and feeling anything by the smell or people drinking etc i would rather have died than live like that...i no longer thought well at least i would not be drinking and i would accept some sort of screwed up half life when i had met all these people in AA with decades of sobriety where alcohol didn't even figure in their life and when i talked to them about drinking they had this "what the hell has drinking got to do with the price of eggs" look on their face...i wanted to be one of them...i did what they said and now drinking doesn't figure at all in my life, that's what i wanted and that's what i got:-)

CaiHong

Thanks Ryan,
Good topic and thanks for the link to the video. It was very good, who is it?
One thing I would suggest is, he picks one accent and stays with it.
Well I have been struggling lately, cravings. Overcame the cravings, waited them out basically and fed them with sugar. The cravings then turned into anger.
This morning I listened to a broadcast on relapsing and I need to go to AA meetings again. I have been making excuses, work, blah blah, which is true but I can get out of it. Why I need meetings is I need the support of other people, I am isolating myself from people who I need to be around by not going to meetings. I thought I was going well, nearlyly 4 months sober which no real major problems but I was triggered last week which led to resentment which led to craving which led to anger and now I want to intervene and go into action. I need support to do the steps. Last week I needed to be able to talk to someone regarding the resentment, I didn't really have someone I could feel comfortable about calling or to be more honest I had already played that conversation in my head and didn't think it useful, without even picking up the phone.
SoI have cancelled all work for 2 weeks (one week is a holiday) and I am going to meetings. Once I decided it is like a load has lifted. I haven't even got to the meeting yet!
Newings, I would imagine you are qualified to go to meetings. Carol might know the protocol on that.

Welcome Paulcoed

bigguyslimm

I, like you never went to AA either. I wanted to do this on my own. Cause at the end of the day the only one that can keep me sober is myself. And I'm weird with religion, so I really don't want people cramming it down my throat.

LaFemme

I'm not normal in any other areas of my life so why should my recovery be normal and therefore in AA

I have almost 15 amazing months thanks to SR, my coach, hard work and God

Do what feels right to you