Discouraged
 

I made it thru my vacation without drinking but am having horrible cravings tonight. I have mostly had a very positive attitude about being sober but for some reason tonight I am weepy and anxious. What is going on? Lately every time I try to get sober I don't make it much past this mark (44 days). I lose my resolve, start to question myself, miss relating to my still drinking husband, convince myself I can handle it better this time, freak out at the notion of not EVER being able to drink again. I don't know how many times I have left to get sober. I can't believe I am thinking this way again I am really so disappointed in myself. Somebody please remind me why I am doing this sobriety thing. Why does this have to be so hard? How can a substance have this much influence in my life? I'm scared.

I can tell you what happened to me.

I went to a neighborhood party in the first few weeks of being sober. I made it through the party. I dug my heels in and said I would not drink and I didn't. The next day, I was obsessed with drinking, went out and bought a bottle of wine, end of story. I realized that even when I got through a situation where people were drinking and I didn't, it still had a profound effect on me.

I decided at that point, to not be around anyone who was drinking alcohol for a very long time. And, that's what worked for me.

Sorry, Eliasson. But you know what? The harder it is right now, the more it validates your efforts. And your efforts are fantastic—that vacation would be difficult for anyone, and you did it! Great work.

The urges can be tough, but they will pass. Remind yourself that you're long past any physical craving—this is all in your mind. It's a feeling. It can't hurt you or force you to do anything you don't want to do. And it will pass. And they will diminish in the future. So hang in there. Maybe try some deep breathing exercises or go for a drive or a long walk. Have you eaten? A full belly always helps me.

Keep going. Remember why you have made repeated attempts to quit—drinking's no longer really enjoyable, not with all the consequences that come with it. You're not missing out on anything. If you drank today, how would you feel about it tomorrow? Play the tape forward, as they say.

You're doing great, really. :)

Hi Eliason,

Thanks for posting. I had a craving yesterday, lucky I didn't buckle. I am listening to this to help me understand why. I suggest you do as well.
Relapse Prevention How To Stay Sober!

Feelings do pass, for some reason I cannot fathom when we feel thingswe think we are going to feel this way forever, experience should tell us it is not so.
Al anon may help you to deal better with your hubby. I think it would be very difficut for me to live with someone who drinks, from previous posts your husband does sound supportive though.
Bottom line, I wrote to give you my support, you can take or leave the suggestions.
All the best
CaiHong

Thanks for your post....I have 46 days sober, and I am having a really rough time tonight. I guess just knowing I am not the only one out there helps. Hang in there -

You're an alcoholic and your feelings are totally normal. It is what it is. Cravings are OK. Normal, even. You're an alcoholic and you're craving alcohol. Nothing strange or scary about that.

^^That's the kind of self-talk I did when I was in your position. Then I'd do something to tackle the anxiety (starbucks extra hot mocha? A walk? Gym?) and moved on with my life, little by little.

Your cravings have no power over you! You're not failing. You're going through early sobriety. It's hard and messy but it'll pass. Just don't drink, no matter what.

Thank you so much to everyone. I am so grateful for you and your responses. It has helped me to not feel so "crazy" tonight. I took a bath and am about to dive into a bowl of ice cream! All of your suggestions and encouragement helped get me thru tonight. I am staying sober. And Anna, I believe you are right. I need to stay away from people drinking. At least until I have more sobriety under my belt. I so want to make it this time. Thanks again to everyone.

I think you're doing magnificently, Eliasson.
It's not easy - but so far you've done all the right things, I think :)

this idea really helped me tho - maybe it will be of use to you too?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

D

Coming here and posting your feelings helps too. Kind of gets them out of you and into the air where they can blow away.:) I had a rough time of the first few months of sobriety until I started expressing gratitude for my blessings every day. I did it until it became a habit, a good healthy habit, and it changed my attitude. I had far fewer cravings when I was aware of my blessings. It made me realize just how much I had to lose if I drank. And my sobriety really 'took off'.:) I felt happier and much less inclined to think about drinking. I felt 'at home' in my sobriety. Comfortable with not drinking.

It really made the difference to just count my blessings. And when I take note of all I'm blessed with it seems to increase my blessings.:) Try it. It sure helped me.:hug:

I suggest starting a pen & paper journal