Feel Disappointed in myself
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 100
Feel Disappointed in myself
Hi all,
I had managed just short of a month from drinking. While it was not easy I managed to just not attend the normal drivers/friends related to that behaviour.
But failed today. My sister phoned to tell me that my grandad had been put on morphine for his cancer (expected to pass away in next few days). While he is in his late 90's this still freaked me out quite a bit. My sister and I talked and we drank (as we did a few years ago when our dad dies of pancreatic cancer).
So I have had 5 pints of beer and feel bad about drinking too.
Day 1 again tomorrow
I had managed just short of a month from drinking. While it was not easy I managed to just not attend the normal drivers/friends related to that behaviour.
But failed today. My sister phoned to tell me that my grandad had been put on morphine for his cancer (expected to pass away in next few days). While he is in his late 90's this still freaked me out quite a bit. My sister and I talked and we drank (as we did a few years ago when our dad dies of pancreatic cancer).
So I have had 5 pints of beer and feel bad about drinking too.
Day 1 again tomorrow
I'm really sorry for the news about your Grandfather.
News like that is tough to bear for anyone - but doing something we know that's bad for us is tough to bear too.
Something I had to learn was that it's ok to feel scared, to feel sad, to feel grief, or to feel overwhelmed.
They're natural responses to these kinds of events - and we can deal with the emotions and get through them sober. Don't doubt yourself. The fear of dealing with the emotions is often greater tan the emotions themselves.
I recently lost my grandfather so I'm not just soapboxing here. You can do this timetotry - be there with the rest of your family
D
News like that is tough to bear for anyone - but doing something we know that's bad for us is tough to bear too.
Something I had to learn was that it's ok to feel scared, to feel sad, to feel grief, or to feel overwhelmed.
They're natural responses to these kinds of events - and we can deal with the emotions and get through them sober. Don't doubt yourself. The fear of dealing with the emotions is often greater tan the emotions themselves.
I recently lost my grandfather so I'm not just soapboxing here. You can do this timetotry - be there with the rest of your family
D
I learned a short time ago that by denying my grief and feelings of loss by drinking to blackout, I was also denying that relationship and what it had meant to me. That was really cutting off a piece of myself and throwing it away.
I need to be whole and present.
I need to be whole and present.
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