ACT10Npack

Try meetup.com and try to go to meetings with the same interest as you. That's a great way to get out and meet new people. Just because your sober does not you have to be close in.

least

Many years ago, before I started drinking, I was diagnosed with severe depression and put on meds (zoloft/sertraline). It helped a lot! I am still on zoloft and will probably be on it the rest of my life and that's ok with me. I don't ever want to go back to that black hole of depression again.

I hope you can get to a good shrink and express your feelings. It made a world of difference for me.

Kileka

A change in life's usual events - such as clubs, parties, wild friends that can drink with impunity, and the like - need to be substituted with new activities and interests. What helped me was going to 12-Step meetings and meeting people there. It's easy to get attention when you are the newcomer (whether new in recovery or just to that meeting). People will reach out to you if you put yourself out there and say you're new or need to branch out your network with a new phone number list. Because we all have the same common denominator, we always have something to talk about, and cultivated conversations ultimately lead to new friendships. Yay!
As far as depression - yikes! - I think we all go through that for many, MANY reasons on all different levels. My suggestions are to get and stay connected (meeting new people will become the bright spot in our lives, the Big Book says), eat well, balanced meals and a lot of healthy snacks (it'll keep your blood sugar leveled and reduce cravings and mood swings) - "Eating is my friend," I like to say, especially now that I quit smoking - and exercise (it releases those happy endorphins in your brain and helps you to feel good about yourself - best part = it's FREE!!).
Hang in there, it gets progressively better as you stay sober

Boleo

I don't know much about depression but I do something about deep despair. There was a time when I thought I was suffering from depression because it lasted for more than a few days and it seemed like the only escape was sleep or booze.

Thank God I had no insurance at the time or I probably what have done everything possible to convince a psychiatrist I needed lots of pills. Instead, I was forced to start working a daily program of action just to keep from committing suicide, homicide or drinking myself into oblivion.

What I did end up learning about my suffering was, it was simply a spiritual malady that could be remedied with spiritual principles. When I started leading a principle driven life, it attracted the peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose that relieved me of my despair as well as my obsession to drink.

soberlicious

Because that's how you are looking at it. When you don't look at it that way, it doesn't seem that way at all.

I agree with all the other posters. You are very well spoken in your posts, maybe just copy some of those off and take to the doctor? I also agree with Memphisblues...if the doctor you are seeing isn't workin for ya get another one. Finding someone I clicked with made all the difference for me.

As far as the drinking life being more "fun"...LOL that is the addictive voice telling those sweet, sweet lies. It seems from your posts than you are far too smart to buy into such lies. See them for what they are.

MyNewName

I can sympathise. I was struggling (still am) with alcoholism when I was at university and whilst it is easy to make great 'friends' when you are out getting smashed every night, the truth is that for the most part you don't really know those people all that well and it is really easy to feel isolated when you are unhappy and depressed and all your 'friends' are still having a ball and drinking. The thing is though, if it doesn't work for you you have to find an alternative pastime, new friends and get to the root of what makes you feel so unhappy.

I dunno, I can't give great advice, I am just over 22 hours sober after another relapse. I hope you do find a solution though, and I can pretty much guarantee it isn't alcohol!

Symmetry

To me, it sounds like you may some purging of bad emotions and experiences to do. There are countless mediums of therapy to help us with this. For starters, you can start giving yourself to others by volunteering. Become familiar with your value and begin to love yourself. Life is an amazing and magical gift. Tell those thoughts that say otherwise "thanks, you can go now". Those are just untamed thoughts, not the real precious one and only amazing you.

Your post resonates deeply. I myself have experienced The benefits of Many types of therapy. I needed to get better. It's normal to have these feelings and it's normal to find your way out of them. Don't get lost in them. Pinpoint a lesson or message from these feelings and use them as a tool to propell yourself forward.

Also, I think routines and rituals are a must. Wake up at the same time everyday followed by one think that makes you feel good. But start somewhere and start simple. We can do this. You are not alone.

Snakes37

This too shall pass. Im a young buck with 3 months sobriety and for the first 2-2.5 months I was in the biggest hole of darkness because I thought my life was so sad and boring and I thought I was going to be in the hole forever. For me it was pretty easy for to quit drinking(unlike others) however living without drinking is the toughest and most difficult part to cope with. With that being said, the hole of darkness is shrinking because im doing what im supposed to be doing in sobriety it can never get worse only better. Whats the difference between a rut and a groove?

Peace and Love
Snakes

StPeteGrad

Hey Jil-
I hear you loud and clear about depression. I have posted on this board how I burned through anti-depressants (quit working after 2 weeks or less). I found one that has worked a little - it's better than it was.

As far as life goes, please consider this. When we were children there were many things we enjoyed to do and things we wanted to accomplish and be. For me - when I discovered alcohol none of those things mattered anymore. Alcohol helped me feel like I was the person I always wanted to be. I didn't need to do anything but drink to feel worthwhile. I was outgoing, happy (drunk) and highly motivated (to support the next drink).

When I finally got sober last February I was at quite a loss for meaning in my life. Ditched all my friends - they were bar buddies anyway and looked for a new focus. I took the AA route. It's very social, full of empathy, and very real (when you find the right group).

In the meantime, I started taking up hobbies I used to really enjoy when I was younger. I go fishing with my son every chance I get. Today I was "the guy with the nice stringer." That's the biggest compliment a fisherman can receive (because I had a limit of very nice Coho salmon). I felt genuine pride today. Not that I was better than anyone, but that it was a sober accomplishment that could stand on its own merit.

I was in an AA meeting last Wednesday and found out many of the other members there also enjoy fishing - they even head chapters of groups and organizations now.

What I'm getting at here, is that if you can surround yourself with others that have a similar sobriety goal it may also come to pass that you are around others that share other youthful passions as well.

There can be great happiness in sobriety. There will be tough times too. We call it bulsh$t. Normal people call it life.

Hang tough, we're all pulling for you.