whiskeyman

like me you will not be able to moderate.
if you think you can, just try having one drink. Just one.
you will wuicky get your answer

Dee74

I nearly died from my drinking...yet there was still a part of me that wanted to go on...so I understand very well the inner tension.

I really had to reexamine my ideas about drinking.

I'd drunk for 20 years, I'd never had any success controlling my drinking, I'd had so many ridiculous absurd and downright dangerous things happen to me...

so why couldn't I just walk away from drinking like any logical person would?

D

whiskeyman

i had seizures, got outta the hospital and three days later started again.
youwould think i would learn
my kids seeing me leave the house on a stretcher wasnt enuf,
i didnt want to stop either.

PLEASE HIT ROCK BOTTOM before its too late

SoberHooligan

Happy social life? You didn't sound so happy last night.

I suggest you do tell your friends and family about your issue. You say you don't want your parents to worry, but trust me, they already are. You are right it will make you accountable for your actions and that's what you need.

Below is the beginning of a letter I recently wrote to my 19 year old daughter at college who, like you, is struggling with the peer pressure and the fact she can't handle alcohol. I'm sure your folks feel the same about you as I do my kid, so this could be written for you.

Please be strong.

"you are the single most important thing in my life. After all the mistakes I’ve made, God has given me the best gift I could have ever asked for- you.
You are a beautiful girl, I take such pride when others comment on your looks or I notice strangers admiring you. But what they don’t know is that you’re even more beautiful inside. When you smile you light up the room and your attitude and kindness are infectious. You are smart and have an ability to make fast friends , people gravitate to you and want to be around you. You have a determination to be the best you can be. You have an awesome future ahead of you, if you make the right choices.
Unfortunately Bud, you also have a problem. It’s the only thing that can keep you from being all you can be and using the gifts that God has given you. "

Terminally Unique

I recommend that you make a plan to never drink again, but until you want to stop, no one will be able to help you. In the meantime, if you are concerned about who you might end up sleeping with, I would recommend not drinking alone with men that you don't want to sleep with.

ACT10Npack

I know you want to moderate your drinking but the best thing now is to stop drinking for tye time be. Why not quit drinking for a few months and see how you feel. I knw a lot of people on the forum will tell you to stop now until its too late. But without the experience of failure you tell yourself your different tyen the rest. Just put your drinking on hold and see how it feel being sober. Good luck and welcome to SR.

LittleChris

Hi Lost,

I'm a 29 year old female who recently quit drinking 7 months ago. Looking back on my college years, I only wish I had stopped drinking back then. Like you, I put myself is so many dangerous situations as a result of my drinking. And while I thought the shame was so bad after each situation, as I got older and continued to drink the situations got even more dangerous and even more shameful. Aside from that, I never really found out what I wanted to do with my life even while in college AND grad school and now find myself lost at 29...purely as a result of drinking. My advice to you is take this opportunity to be sober and present in your life to figure out what makes you truly happy. Find sober friends (while college can be a drinking environment, it also is a place with so many people and activities that dont revolve around drinking...you just have to open your eyes a bit more), join clubs, go to your classes, etc. Trust me these things are harder to come by when you're out of college and in the work field...i hear the words "happy hour" all too often lol. As for telling those you love about your problem, it can only help. Since I've opened up to people, I have nothing but support...but even better, it made me responsible for my actions and able to keep up with the sobriety

texas729

There's tons of stuff to do in college that doesn't involve drinking. Join some clubs. Start volunteering either through the clubs or on your own. Volunteering can be a big humbling self esteem boost. Here, it's called the campus activities board - most colleges have something similar. Check out what things they have planned for students. After studying you could always go to sleep at night . Go and hang around some professors. Those letters of recommendation will come in handy if you choose to go for a masters. Check out internships - volunteer or otherwise on campus. Those really pay off.

lostfound

Hey again everybody, just wanted to let you know that your kind words, wisdom, and support have kept me sober for the past two days. Feels like forever. I've told some of my closest friends about my desire to quit (which seems to be growing as the days go by, despite the withdrawal symptoms.) Haven't yet broached the subject with my family; they don't even know I have a drinking problem. My dad doesn't know I've even TOUCHED alcohol. Mom figures I drink occasionally on the weekends with my friends. I'm tempted to see if I can beat this without my parents ever knowing I even had a problem. Then again, the more support, the better chance I have of staying sober. I just don't want to burden them. My friends, on the other hand... they've seen my problem first hand--holding my hair back while I puke, picking me up when I'm drunkenly lost after wandering around town, etc. The ones I have told have been very supportive.

I do have a pretty immediate concern, though. Next weekend is my best friend's 21st birthday. He doesn't live out here, but he's coming down to visit. We had been planning to buy tons of alcohol, go out to the bars, and basically drink 'til we couldn't anymore. I have so much anxiety. He's someone I haven't told that I want to quit. I don't want to ruin our plans for his birthday. We've been planning this for months. What the heck do I do?? *sigh*

Dee74

I was caught in the situation for years - I knew drinking was bad for me....but I didn't want to 'let people down' - so I drank....

When what other people think or feel is more important to you than your own well-being, maybe it's time to take a step back and look at that, LF?

D

doggonecarl

I quit after 35 years of drinking. Imagine how entwined alcohol was in my life. But quitting means quitting and that meant a lot of stuff that was important to me or to other people had to be re-evaluated. I wasn't going to put my sobriety in jeopardy and do anything that would risk it.

Yes, this is a big day coming up, a regular drunk fest, it sounds like. If you can't go without drinking, don't go. If this person is truly your best friend, he'll be there for you for birthday number 22, when you are stronger in your recovery.

fallingwater

Honesty is the best way to go and I should know because I've lied to everyone in my life and it never lead to anything good or right so just don't fall back in. You don't want to end up in detox in a psych ward. It's not fun...trust me.

SoberHooligan

You have to decide, it's all on you.

This sobriety thing ain't easy. It's always going to be someone's birthday, or a concert, or a ballgame, or a holiday party. Its' always 5 oclock somewhere.

There's no reason you can't enjoy all those things but the beauty of sobriety is you'll remember them with fondness not regret.

Tell your best friend and if he truly is, you can celebrate the birth of your sobriety as well.

Reed22

Great job on two days Lost=)

I am on Day 4 myself and trying to brace for the weekend. One of my biggest problems also is that there seems to ALWAYS be great reasons to drink: going to a baseball game, BBQ, someone's birthday, a wedding...

I just try and remember that NOT drinking at these events isn't going to be the end of the world and that the (few) times that I have abstained from drinking at events, I always remember being glad about it the next day.

As a suggestion, maybe you could volunteer to be the designated driver? I know it will be stressful to watch everyone drink - and the first few drinks where everyone is "having fun" will be the toughest, but later when people get hammered it might give you some perspective on how ridiculously people act while wasted.

Good luck!!

TwoHundred

If he is your best friend it would absolutely not "ruin" his birthday for you not to drink. Since he's your best friend, tell him your situation. Work it out. Tell him now, not later.

And give us an update!

donweezy

Whats up LostFound, I could never try to moderate my drinking.. What was the point I drank to get a buzz (liked how it made me feel), but I have an allergy to alcohol (once I start drinking I can't stop, this phenomenon of craving doesnt happen to the nonalcoholic) Also, like you I felt I could not have fun without alcohol, but my disease progressed to where I couldnt have fun with or without the alcohol. I was miserable using, it quit working. I had to change my people, places, and things. I still consider myself young at age 29, but I cant hang out with my drinking buddies anymore. I have new friends that I met in AA. We dont go to bars, cuz thats not a place for us. Instead do sober things, and believe it or not WE HAVE FUN!! as for family and friends, they love you, and they want the best for you!! Your true friends will be truly supportive of your decision to quit drinking!! I know exactly how you feel, ive been there, done that. If you don't stop things are going to get way worse, thats inevitable for alcoholics. You have a chance to not go through the dread/misery ahead if you dont pick up! I'm so scared if I pick up again because this disease gets worse over time, and it kicked my @ss by age 29, can only imagine what other @ss whippings lay ahead if dont continue my road to recovery.. Best of luck to YOU!!!