Songtx

As I write this I am laying in bed hungover, feeling horrible, letting the day waste away again. I decided 2 months or so ago that this is it and I am finally going to stop. So far, I was able to go about a week. My husband still drinks, and doesn't understand that he is an alcoholic. He has no intention to stop any time soon. I just end up giving in and joining him because when I am not drinking I become extremely irritable and we fight. I also get depressed and lately can't stop crying. (we have been going through other life changes). I see the alcoholism affecting my husband. He works from home and can't think straight in the morning. He also can't seem to form sentences well while on the phone with clients. I am worried people are starting to notice. As for myself, I have developed horrible stomach issues from the drinking. I also have very low self esteem and depression, which was being medicated with alcohol for the past 5 years. Before that I was on meds. This needs to stop. I need to get through the anger and depression and just not pick up. I need to get better. I need to ignore my husband's drinking and not have it make me angry with him. I have to not give in because drinking with him is fun. I need to learn. I never seem to learn and wind up here, hung over in bed half the day. I need to stop now!

Anna

Even when it's so obvious what we need to do, it's still so hard to make it happen, isn't it!

You said that you were on meds for depression before you started drinking. It could be that talking to your dr and going back on the meds will help you. Also, your depression will likely improve to some extent, by stopping drinking.

And, you do need to keep the focus on you and not on your husband. This is your journey and you can do it.

Toddtoday

Hi Song remember that you went a week sober, you can do that again. Do it for yourself. Eventually it will be easier, things will be more clear, and you'll find Fun in things that don't involve drinking

It's hard to stay sober when your partner drinks. But don't make it your responsibility to stay sober for two people. One of the hardest things about living with someone else who drinks is that there's always alcohol around. Maybe your husband can be supportive by not having it in the house, but that's gonna be a lot to ask of someone who might not be willing to try sobriety himself

Best to you. Staying sober is a better feeling than any feeling a drink could bring. I don't have a lot of wisdom to offer, but just know that others have been exactly where you are now, and that people do care, and wish you the health and self esteem that will come with staying sober.

Sugah

I knew what I needed to do for years. When I was finally willing to do anything to get it done, I got what I needed.

What's the plan? I used one developed by folks a long time ago -- the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Have you considered going to a meeting, at least to listen?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

GettingStronger2

Is it? Fun that is. Drinking with your husband. From what you have said, it doesnt sound like much fun to me. When i quit, my husband didn't. He still drank. Is he an alcoholic? i don't know. I can only worry about me. But when i was done i was done, so his drinking didn't make me want to join him.

Anyway, i wish you luck. Worry about your drinking, not his. His choices are not yours.

whiskeyman

you sound so much like me, when i was on a spree.
i worried about my depression and how much lower it would get.
i have been on meds for 10 years and couldnt understand why they werent effective when i needed them the most.
i needed them the most when my self esteem was NIL, i was starting to think suicide was an option, not that i would carry it out, but the thoughts were there.
just the everyday doom and gloom was so unbearable.

The was an answer to my problem.

My meds finally started working once i put the bottle down.
I never thought i would get out of the bottomless pit of despair.
I am at day 72 and have never felt better about myself.
It is a joy to get up in the morning (well kinda, i like to sleep in)
go to work, associate with others, hang with my kids, etc

Give the meds a chance to work. Stop for 2 weeks and see the change. You wont go back. I promise.

soberlicious

The moment I decided to end my life brought me peace, relief, and calm. That's how low it got for me. It is mindboggling to be on the edge and not even know that you are there. I said I would never do that, but I did. Addiction allows the lines in the sand to be drawn and redrawn again and again and again...

Addiction kills the soul.

But freedom from it awakens it like never before.

I hope you find relief...

whiskeyman

if you meant me, whiskeyman, I have found relieve and that was to put the bottle down for awhile.
The thoughts were from the alcohol.
It poisons the mind.
I have never felt better about myself since putting it down and surrendering

soberlicious

no whiskeyman, sorry, was just bouncing of your post. Quoted you because it resonated so strongly with me. I meant I hope Song tx finds the relief many of us have found.

whiskeyman

most have us have been there. but doesnt it feel great when the booze is gon and your true soul can show itself

soberlicious

yes indeed. I find there are no words to even describe it.

sugarbear1

Welcome! Listen to aa speakers on your computer. You might relate to their stories. Ignore what doesn't help or make sense, yet!

Dee74

hey songtx
Lots of good advice here.

Alcohol was pretty central in my life & that of my friends.
I didn't want to change my life - I just wanted to control my drinking.

The trouble was, every time I took that first step I was already beaten - my control was gone.

The day I realised that was the day I stopped thinking of myself as a drinker - and was the first steps to freedom for me.

I had to break the cycle to get better - and the way to break that cycle is to do all you can to stop drinking - get as much support as you can muster.

I have never regretted my decision - I know you won't either

D