What words to say? Alcoholic friend...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Be honest with her. Tell her that you value your friendship, but you have quit drinking and cannot be around drinking at this time. If she wants to hang out with you, you will have to do things that do not involve alcohol, as the previous response suggested.
If she is a true friend, and not just a drinking buddy, she will understand and respect your request.
It is best if you do not mention her drinking or suggest in any way that she drinks too much. Just keep it about your decision to not drink.
If she is a true friend, and not just a drinking buddy, she will understand and respect your request.
It is best if you do not mention her drinking or suggest in any way that she drinks too much. Just keep it about your decision to not drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by Baggins 
How can I tell a friend I can't see her because she is drunk and I am just sober and vulnerable!
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I had to tell my boyfriend that. I have a drug and alcohol problem. I am in recovery. My life is at stake. I must avoid people if they are using drugs or alcohol.
I just laid it out. I'd love to spend time with you, I told him, when you are not using.
He found out that there wasn't much time left to see me, because he was using THAT much. He saw me go through and overdose, so he knew when I said my life depended on it, I was NOT overdramatizing.
He is a true friend. He chose to get clean. I hope for his own sake he chooses recovery as well.
I just laid it out. I'd love to spend time with you, I told him, when you are not using.
He found out that there wasn't much time left to see me, because he was using THAT much. He saw me go through and overdose, so he knew when I said my life depended on it, I was NOT overdramatizing.
He is a true friend. He chose to get clean. I hope for his own sake he chooses recovery as well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Richmond, Va
Posts: 14
I should probably have this conversation with several friends, but thus far I've only thier declined invitations to hang out due to my 'hectic work schedule' (which is only half true). I think I'm worried about my sobriety affecting others in a way that they begin to perceive me as a downer/stick-in-the-mud that has to be handled with kid gloves in social situations. I know I'll be in just such situations when I can talk about it directly with them-- in depth-- if they so desire, so I'm going to wait until then, I think, as opposed to a generalized pre-emptive strike. If that makes any sense.
Good luck to you and your friend!
Good luck to you and your friend!
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