How the f%&#@ do you turn this thig off?!?!
like a thunder bacon punch!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 76
How the f%&#@ do you turn this thig off?!?!
Ok, I'm like 99% convinced I can't stop drinking. All day everyday it's just an obsession that wont leave me alone. I mean I can only busy myself with cleaning the house doing yard work or other stuff for so long. As long as I know I have a spare $10 lying around my mind wont rest till I cash it in in and get myself drunk.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
Putting down the alcohol is just the beginning of your recovery. Working on yourself mentally, physically and spiritually is key to the obsessive thoughts your having.
Maybe look into AA, Smart Recovery, or counseling. There are many programs out there. Find one that works for you. Willpower was never enough for me.
Best Wishes To You!
Maybe look into AA, Smart Recovery, or counseling. There are many programs out there. Find one that works for you. Willpower was never enough for me.
Best Wishes To You!
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Some things that helped me.
1 - really accepting that I was never going to drink again. This is hard to pin down but the difference when I really 'got it' was huge. The main thing I think was that the thought of never drinking again became a RELIEF instead of a sad thing.
2- when the obsessive thoughts came (and they did) I would acknowledge them ("oh there's another obsessive, alcoholic thought. I am definitely an alcoholic!" and then consciously choosing a new way to deal with the feeling. Like "I feel anxious. Let me go take a walk and see if I can calm down". It felt so weird and fake but it worked.
GL to you!
1 - really accepting that I was never going to drink again. This is hard to pin down but the difference when I really 'got it' was huge. The main thing I think was that the thought of never drinking again became a RELIEF instead of a sad thing.
2- when the obsessive thoughts came (and they did) I would acknowledge them ("oh there's another obsessive, alcoholic thought. I am definitely an alcoholic!" and then consciously choosing a new way to deal with the feeling. Like "I feel anxious. Let me go take a walk and see if I can calm down". It felt so weird and fake but it worked.
GL to you!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
What helped me in the early days, was to change my routines and daily habits. Drive home from work a different way, go out for a walk after supper, or go to the gym, visit with a friend over coffee - just do something differently and it will help to begin to break the habit and the obsessive thoughts.
And, each time you get through a craving, it will get easier.
And, each time you get through a craving, it will get easier.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: the high desert
Posts: 887
Staying busy in the early days can and does help with cravings. But as others have said, getting and staying sober, getting into recovery, is much more than not drinking. I would venture to guess that those who do not work on recovery don't stay sober.
However, i know a lot of people who were hopeless alcoholics, and they don't drink today. They have learned to live. You can do the same.
However, i know a lot of people who were hopeless alcoholics, and they don't drink today. They have learned to live. You can do the same.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by SSIL75 
Some things that helped me.
1 - really accepting that I was never going to drink again. This is hard to pin down but the difference when I really 'got it' was huge. The main thing I think was that the thought of never drinking again became a RELIEF instead of a sad thing.
2- when the obsessive thoughts came (and they did) I would acknowledge them ("oh there's another obsessive, alcoholic thought. I am definitely an alcoholic!" and then consciously choosing a new way to deal with the feeling. Like "I feel anxious. Let me go take a walk and see if I can calm down". It felt so weird and fake but it worked.
GL to you!
1 - really accepting that I was never going to drink again. This is hard to pin down but the difference when I really 'got it' was huge. The main thing I think was that the thought of never drinking again became a RELIEF instead of a sad thing.
2- when the obsessive thoughts came (and they did) I would acknowledge them ("oh there's another obsessive, alcoholic thought. I am definitely an alcoholic!" and then consciously choosing a new way to deal with the feeling. Like "I feel anxious. Let me go take a walk and see if I can calm down". It felt so weird and fake but it worked.
GL to you!
What remains is what to do about those 'alcoholic mind' thoughts that suggest to you that it wants a drink, or it deserves a drink, or it needs a drink, whatever it thinks will work to convince you to go along with it. Acknowledge the thought, don't fight it or struggle with it. Then just tell it that you are in charge, you have decided, and you don't drink anymore.
You also need to practice the idea that any thought whatsoever, that this won't work, maybe just one, I might as well give in, I deserve it, or any of a million other things that are leading you back to your DoC, these thoughts do not come from you, they come from it, that alcoholic mind. Then just tell it that you are in charge, you have decided, and you don't drink anymore. Rinse, lather, repeat.
It gets easier every day. Good luck.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by soberviking
All day everyday it's just an obsession that wont leave me alone.
1. Sitting around not-drinking does not help the situation much, if at all.
2. True sobriety is nipping the problem in the bud, before it enters your head.
3. True sobriety is getting the peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose ahead of time without any substance so as to render the substance superfluous.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
There's some great ideas here SV.
I was like you - time and again I'd try - and time and again....
The trouble was I was just doing the same thing. Trying not to drink is great - but if it's the only tool you've got, you're gonna find it doesn't always fit
Listen to your body and mind. Whatever you've been doing up to now is not enough, man.
What else can you try - and if the answer that comes back to you is nothing...grit your teeth and ignore it.
There's always something to try - even things you've tried before, or things that seem impractical to you...none of us stay the same and neither does our addiction...anything got to be worth a shot right now, yeah?
Get more support, examine all your options - be willing to try anything.
You can do this - fan that 1%, man
D
I was like you - time and again I'd try - and time and again....
The trouble was I was just doing the same thing. Trying not to drink is great - but if it's the only tool you've got, you're gonna find it doesn't always fit
Listen to your body and mind. Whatever you've been doing up to now is not enough, man.
What else can you try - and if the answer that comes back to you is nothing...grit your teeth and ignore it.
There's always something to try - even things you've tried before, or things that seem impractical to you...none of us stay the same and neither does our addiction...anything got to be worth a shot right now, yeah?
Get more support, examine all your options - be willing to try anything.
You can do this - fan that 1%, man
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
are you retired and that's why you're at home all day?
If yes, I can understand how boring it can get watching the grass grow.
You see the same trees, same furniture and after a while start feeling like you're one of the furniture fixtures.
How about this? Do you like to dance? Square dance, hip hop, whatever is your era....
I was thinking of taking some dancing lessons to uplift my spirit.
Or some other hobby where "drinking" is not the main dish.
If yes, I can understand how boring it can get watching the grass grow.
You see the same trees, same furniture and after a while start feeling like you're one of the furniture fixtures.
How about this? Do you like to dance? Square dance, hip hop, whatever is your era....
I was thinking of taking some dancing lessons to uplift my spirit.
Or some other hobby where "drinking" is not the main dish.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by Zebra1275
So what's your plan to stay sober?
Sheer willpower? Good luck with that!
Sheer willpower? Good luck with that!
The Winner Takes It All!!!!!
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: United Kingdom (HULL)
Posts: 230
"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us."
"The most successful people in the end are those whose success is the result of steady growh... It is the person who carefully advances step by step, with their mind becoming wider and wider - and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation - persevering in what they knows to be practical, and concentrating their thought upon it, who is bound to succeed in the greatest degree."
never have truer words been spoken, how is everyone keeping? i hope all are doing great..
Sometimes you must keep going.
Life punches you in the stomach.
It knocks your breath out and leaves you bowed and gasping.
You lose a job. . . you must keep going.
... You find out you have a serious illness. . .you must keep going.
You have a headache. . . you must keep going.
Sometimes the things in life are not serious but they affect you
nevertheless. . . you must keep going.
You have a big argument with your spouse.
Neither of you feels like talking and maybe not even looking at
each other. . . you must keep going.
Your son/Daughter rebels and you have a blowout with him. . .
you must keep going.
The bills seem to never end and the money seems to never start.
You must keep going.
There are times that make us just want to curl up, stick our
heads in a hole, and make the world go away.
We can't, because we must keep going.
Life is full of those circumstances.
Many of you when you woke up this morning, for a variety of
reasons, didn't feel like getting out of bed, but you had to.
You must keep going.
In times like those, and we all have them,
remember the blessing.
The blessing is not in that we must keep going.
The blessing is that we can.
"The most successful people in the end are those whose success is the result of steady growh... It is the person who carefully advances step by step, with their mind becoming wider and wider - and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation - persevering in what they knows to be practical, and concentrating their thought upon it, who is bound to succeed in the greatest degree."
never have truer words been spoken, how is everyone keeping? i hope all are doing great..
Sometimes you must keep going.
Life punches you in the stomach.
It knocks your breath out and leaves you bowed and gasping.
You lose a job. . . you must keep going.
... You find out you have a serious illness. . .you must keep going.
You have a headache. . . you must keep going.
Sometimes the things in life are not serious but they affect you
nevertheless. . . you must keep going.
You have a big argument with your spouse.
Neither of you feels like talking and maybe not even looking at
each other. . . you must keep going.
Your son/Daughter rebels and you have a blowout with him. . .
you must keep going.
The bills seem to never end and the money seems to never start.
You must keep going.
There are times that make us just want to curl up, stick our
heads in a hole, and make the world go away.
We can't, because we must keep going.
Life is full of those circumstances.
Many of you when you woke up this morning, for a variety of
reasons, didn't feel like getting out of bed, but you had to.
You must keep going.
In times like those, and we all have them,
remember the blessing.
The blessing is not in that we must keep going.
The blessing is that we can.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Viking...... I know the feeling.
I wasn't 100% convinced I couldn't stop for now.........but I WAS (and am) convinced that there was no way in HELL I could stop forever. I knew (and know) that if I just try to keep myself sober several things will happen:
1. I may pull it off....for a while
2. I won't pull it off forever
3. Eventually I'll drink again
4. If I drink again, I'm going to go back to that depression that had me thinking about suicide - or maybe I'll get lucky and booze will kill me off before I summon up the balls to do it myself.
5. I want to keep drinking.....but I don't want to want to keep drinking -- so I need to find a way to make this "not drinking" work...and nothing I've tried so far seems to work for very long. (hope that makes sense)
It wasn't pretty.....but that's my first experience with the realization that I'm a chronic alkie. I knew, sooner or later, I was screwed and I'd drink again. I didn't just want something that would work "today" - I wanted (needed) - something that would work forever.....that would guarantee me sobriety and, more than that, would promise me that I'd find a lifestyle that I'd truly enjoy. Cuz let's be honest here, if sobriety wasn't more fun than my old drinking life, I'd go back to drinking. It took going to AA and working the program to fiiiiiiiiiiinally find what I was probably looking for all my life. Never woulda' thought AA was where I was supposed to be - but I'm damn glad I'm there.
I wasn't 100% convinced I couldn't stop for now.........but I WAS (and am) convinced that there was no way in HELL I could stop forever. I knew (and know) that if I just try to keep myself sober several things will happen:
1. I may pull it off....for a while
2. I won't pull it off forever
3. Eventually I'll drink again
4. If I drink again, I'm going to go back to that depression that had me thinking about suicide - or maybe I'll get lucky and booze will kill me off before I summon up the balls to do it myself.
5. I want to keep drinking.....but I don't want to want to keep drinking -- so I need to find a way to make this "not drinking" work...and nothing I've tried so far seems to work for very long. (hope that makes sense)
It wasn't pretty.....but that's my first experience with the realization that I'm a chronic alkie. I knew, sooner or later, I was screwed and I'd drink again. I didn't just want something that would work "today" - I wanted (needed) - something that would work forever.....that would guarantee me sobriety and, more than that, would promise me that I'd find a lifestyle that I'd truly enjoy. Cuz let's be honest here, if sobriety wasn't more fun than my old drinking life, I'd go back to drinking. It took going to AA and working the program to fiiiiiiiiiiinally find what I was probably looking for all my life. Never woulda' thought AA was where I was supposed to be - but I'm damn glad I'm there.
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