Nostalgic

Hi everyone,

I've been having a recurring problem during my new-found sobriety; I get really, really, REALLY frustrated and angry by other people and the things they do, by a lot of things actually and yet, when I was drinking and before I started heavily drinking, I was always very laid-back and mellow.

Does anyone have any explanation? And any tips on how to keep my peace, rather than lashing out and hurting the people who love me? I'm finding it very difficult to do this.

Dee74

I think it's pretty common, nostaligic.

Two things helped me - one was realising that was, on some level, a physical reaction, a byproduct of healing fro a mind and bosy both a bit beaten up - knowing that helped me react a little better.

The other thing I did was try hard to remember the good things in my life - my drinking nearly killed me - any other outcome was pretty damn good for me

I hope your emotions will settle down soon - of course, if you're really concerned, seeing a Dr or a counsellor could be useful

D

sugarbear1

Very common. For me, working the steps of aa help. I did Back to Basics. 12 steps quickly, now slower second time around.

Best wishes

Pandie

Our brains release chemicals to help us deal with all of our emotions, once we start using outside chemicals to do this, our innate brain chemicals stop working. It takes a little bit before they realize that they are needed again and it will get better!!

Also, something someone in recovery told me this and it has rained true, daily!! "The best thing about recovery is that you learn to feel your feelings... the worst thing about recovery is that you learn to feel your feelings."

Keep holding on! You can do it!!

Threshold

I am nodding along with you Nostalgic, I have been dealing with a lot of the same things, everything and everyone p****s me off. Rage.

I am practicing just feeling my feelings and reminding myself, they are feelings, and nothing needs to be done about them other than feel them.

I used to think the sky was falling down every time I felt something I wasn't comfortable with, now I am learning that it's really not that big a deal. I acknowledge them, then get on with it. If I obsess on them, talk a lot about them with others, fight them, try to force myself to feel something different...they hang around longer. And sort of focused attention seems to encourage them, but a nod and getting on with what I need to do, really helps.

Even if it doesn't hurry the feeling away, I still am less in a dither over it.

True story, my ex has a dog that loves to bark. She's pretty high strung, seemed a bit anxious. We moved from the country into a neighborhood and it wasn't cool for her to bark her head off, so we got a gizmo that gives off a sound when she'd bark. The sound hurt her ear, and she learned to not bark. I kid you not, that dog has learned to chill out. I am not talking about just not barking. She seemed truly calmer and happier when she gave up the barking habit.

I apply this to my own self, I LOVE to bark, grumble, stew, and nitter natter until I get everyone on MY side. And in doing so I would get myself ALL worked up. I am making a concerted effort to not dwell on, talk about, fret over people or situations that get me fuming. And truly, I am finding myself way less agitated because I am not fueling the fire.

Sometimes we do need to vent. But learning not to dwell is really making my life more comfortable.

Nostalgic

Thank you all of you for these words, they've been very helpful.

Threshold, that's a great analogy to use and one I've been thinking a lot about since yesterday.

Today's been difficult for the same reason; I made a rather edgy joke to someone which was completely misinterpreted and for the past two days they have NOT let it go at ALL. I'm restraining and not "barking", but damn, some ******* people just try my patience so much by their pathetic behaviour. But I'm not barking/biting. And most importantly, I'm not drinking, which is probably what I would have resorted to in the past to escape.