Feeling alone.
 

Hi. I have read this forum now and then but never posted till now. Here is a bit of info about me. I am 24 years old and live in a small city in northern england. I have always loved alcohol ever since my first bottle of cider at 13 years old and by the time i was 18 i was drinking 3-4 litres of cider a day, dropped out of college and my life was going nowhere. I then managed to get a job in a factory where i still work today and managed to stop the daily drinking and just enjoyed a binge every weekend telling myself that its fine because most people my age were/are doing it. 6 years on and i am still drinking heavily every weekend and suffer frequent blackouts while drunk. I then decided i will have a month off to see if i could. I didn't even make it past the first weekend and have tried many times to just go one weekend without a drink bit rarely can i manage so i am convinced that this is a form of alcoholism. I should be able to enjoy myself without a drink but i can't. I have recently joined a gym and lost 2 and a half stone, i am back at college one night a week and quit smoking 7 and a half months ago without any problems. I would just love to be able to enjoy myself without alcohol. Also i now have health anxiety which i am not sure is caused by the drinking or if i drink to hide it. Sorry for the lengthy post i just had to get the details across and hopefully somebody has been in the same boat.

Hi—glad you're posting!

I totally relate. I couldn't imagine getting to sleep without a drink, much less enjoying myself. It just took time to adjust. But not that much time—and wow, the sense of freedom is amazing. Everything's more enjoyable now—concerts, movies, time spent with friends, time spent alone. Stick around; you can do it! :)

Thanks. I have been looking through the forums and there is some great advice on there.

Welcome!

Hi Weekendwarrior,

That is great that you are making positive changes in your life, the gym, quitting smoking and going back to college. This shows a lot of determination.

I am not sure what you mean by health anxiety.

Is your socialising tied up with drinking? To be honest I could not imagine sitting in a pub for hours talking bollocks unless I was drinking.

I don't know your situation but perhaps you need to find some sober friends and pursuits.

Good on you for waking up to the dangers of drinking and wanting to do something about it.

Respect
CaiHong

Welcome!

Weekends can definitely be tough. You may have to get creative and make plans to do something entirely different on those days, something that isn't associated with drinking. I enjoy doing things with my hands, so I've taken on some projects (making Christmas gifts).

There's plenty of us around here on Friday nights, too.:yup: After you get through a few weekends, it will start getting easier, but we do need support to stay sober in the long run.

Welcome to SR

Hey all, I used opiates, then opiates used me. I quit cold turkey 5 months ago (almost 6.) I havent used since.

A bit about me and why I'm here, I'm also 24 years old. I'm male from Ohio, in the usa. While I was using I became very solitary. I stopped all contact with my friends, and passed by all of lifes opportunities and eventually they stopped comming. The friends stopped calling, and I gave up seeking any sort of relationships with others. This went on for 5 years. I eventually came to a place where I had to stop, for my own sake. And I did. But the damage had been done. I now find myself a social wreck. I am akward, nervous, and incapable of looking another person in the eye. Whenever I walk into a gas station I suddenly feel as though everyone is staring at me, judging every move I make. I have not been In a relationship in two years, and at this point have very little desire to have one. I miss the companionship, and the special moments, but I can't even imagine having that with someone. My self esteem is nonexistent and I feel I have nothing to offer anyone else. And in turn, I feel annoyed and uncomfortable in the presence of others. My turning to drugs for solace was inevitable. Now that they don't control my life anymore, I am left to deal with this on my own. I have dreams of going to school, getting married, buying a house...ect. Again I can't imagine my life turning out that way. I don't even know how to have a conversation with my parents. Therapy would be fantastic but no job, no insurance, and no money is a problem. I've made several attempts to just get out there, get a job and break through all this but to no avail. Job interviews in the past would end with me getting nauseous and leaving abruptly. Dozens more I couldn't work up the nerve to go in for. So that's kind of an extreme feeling lonely post...

It feels good to post about it so nobody should feel inclined to respond, though feedback is very welcome. Thanks for reading :)

Hi Weekendwarrier,

Welcome to SR. Glad to see that you want to do something about your life early on.

Also, Hi then fb,

I think that you should start your own post, you will get many more responses that way.

I feel that you have a lot to offer. I remember the days when I was younger, I wasn't an alcoholic then, I was brave, and I was gullible. I turned to alcohol, when I felt that I could no longer trust people. A lot of times now, I am afraid to even leave my house, I don't want to look into peoples faces. I'm working on this now, because that was not who I was. That's who I became.

When I first heard the phrase that alcohol was a lonely person's disease, I couldn't have agreed more. I recall times of feeling totally alone while sitting in a bar full of people. I wasn't the only one. I recall some pathetic occasions when I would just talk with someone next to me just to have someone to talk to. On more than one occasion, the person next to me proved to be totally bonkers, and I couldn't wait to get away, lol. One guy started blabbing about how a meteor was going to wipe out the earth and we would end up as dust floating around in the atmosphere, uh huh, see ya buddy, gotta go grab my rain coat, lol.

Now you've found SR and it really can help you deal with and overcome some of the lonliness you feel. Reach out and touch someone here instead of grabbing that next drink and give yourself a chance at starting a new life. It's really worth it and so are you.

Stick around and speak up!!

Welcome to the family.:)

Hi Weekendwarrior, I got drunk for the first time on a bottle of cider when I was 14 which kicked off 30 years of binge drinking at weekends. I've recently stopped and wish I had done so many years ago. It became a dangerous habit but for years I thought my drinking was 'normal' because everyone else drank the same amounts. I realised I had a problem a couple of years ago because I wanted to stop but couldn't. Since finding this forum I'm sober ten days and - amazingly - on my second weekend without alcohol. I never thought this would be possible but it is thanks to the stories and advice I've read here. Stay around and change your life.

Loneliness is measured by how far you are from a telephone..or how well you can use your mobile keyboard! Waiting for people to come to you will leave you lonely and unhappy.

People won't come to you to free you from your loneliness: you must go to them.

Once you let people into your life with a sincere interest in friendship or a partnership, phone calls, invitations to social activities, a sincere interest in them and their lives, an invitation to your home or a night out at a restaurant or sitting at a café having a cup of coffee, a commitment to involve yourself and "show up" for them...well, your phone will be ringing off the hook.

Hello and welcome to SR...............

Blessings
Kahlia

To find sober people who are learning how to enjoy a life without alcohol...
I cnnnected to my local AA meetings...:yup:

Welcome to our recovery community...:wavey:

Welcome to SR!