New here - how to succeed?
 

Hi-

I've come to this site and read the through the forums a number of times. I've been a drinker since I was 14 and I'm now 34, I don't necessarily drink everyday or get drunk everytime I drink, but if I get to a certain point I won't stop. I hate it, I would really like to quit for good. Nothing good ever has come from it.
I have a wife and 2 young children and another on the way, I don't want my kids to grow up seeing their father drink. I've found a couple AA meetings in my area, I haven't gone yet, I'm a little intimidated I guess, I feel like once I start going to meetings I'll have to give in and say I'm an alcoholic which is a bit scary. But deep down I know that's the case, I have a problem with alcohol.

You don't have to say anything at AA meetings. You just need a desire not to have to take a drink that day.

Welcome!

Hi Shakes! I wish I'd recognized what alcohol was doing to me when I was your age. I never did, and my life turned into a living hell as the disease progressed. Congratulations on seeing what needs to be done, and taking action.

Any AA meetings I've attended I haven't felt pressured to say I'm an alcoholic. Especially in the beginning, you can just listen. It might be a good idea to try it. I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting. Glad to have you as part of our family.

Welcome :welcome

You will find lots of support here. Congrats on your decision.

Hi SM, my story is similar to yours in that i started binge drinking aged 14. I'm 44 now and decided to stop last week.

Welcome to SR!

I think it's great that you will now be a sober dad to your 2.5 kids, what a great gift to them. Sobriety is something that we really have to do for ourselves, but the great part is everyone gets to benefit from our getting better, just like everyone has to suffer while we are active in our addictions. There are enough drunk dads out there, so I'm happy to see someone trying to do something different. :)

I would check out AA. Keep in mind that by going to a meeting you are not committing yourself to anything. You can just try it out and see what you think of it. I think everyone who struggles with drinking should check out AA if for no other reason than to have an opinion of it. Also, you are not obligated to speak when you go to a meeting. In fact I would recommend not sharing anything, but rather try listening to what the others have to say.

Best wishes in your recovery!

Thank you for all for the kind words and support - I think I'm going to try to go to my first AA meeting on Thursday night. You guys have eased my anxiety a bit, I think I'll show up and be a wallflower the first time.

Thanks again-

You've taken the first step shakes, good for you. you may want to read Undrunk, A skeptic's guide to AA. It demystifies the process.

If I knew then(or admitted what I knew)what I know now, I would have started alot sooner. Sounds like now is your time, congrats.

SH

Welcome Shakes!

Good for you for recognizing your problem....:c011:

I know how you feel about the word "alcoholic" - most of us have trouble with it. In reality, there are stages of alcoholism. It's only the end-stage that we usually think of.

When I decided to stop, I hadn't yet had the usual consequences, but I knew drinking was an obsession/compulsion for me. I'd have a miserable morning and be drinking again that night, which is pretty crazy. I thought a LOT about stopping.... come to find out that social drinkers don't do that. They can just walk away.

Glad you're taking a look at this now and reaching out. Support is so important and you'll find a lot of that here.:grouphug:

Alot of advice here already given ShakesMcgee. Don't be afraid to go to AA. The way I viewed it before I thought it was punishment. But now I think it's a gift given so freely. You'll get alot of support in AA for sure. It's wise to go to these meetings if you want to quit drinking because its hard to do it on your own, although there are people out there that have stayed sobered without AA it can be hard and of course it's not for everyone. Just give it a chance, you'll see how many can relate to you. Just keep in mind though, just because you didn't go through this or that like someone else, everyone has their battle against alcoholism. I learned that the hard way. I always told myself I wouldn't miss work from drinking and thats what happened and things were going down hill. Anyway just try it some more and wish you alot of luck :) You also got alot of support here, some even use this site for their support :)

Welcome!

I'm not an AA person, but I do know that I had to accept that I was an alcoholic before I could start to heal.

I hope you find something that works for you.

Shakes....welcome. You will probably hear the same advice over and over.....but you know what.....one of the suggestions just might end up working for you. There is no cut and dry way to quit. AA might be your salvation or you may go your own route as I did. No one knows the answer until it works. I prayed to my God for his help and he answered. When you truly in your heart decide that you are done.......You will find you own path on your own journey and your life will be changed forever.
Peace Love and Happiness
DAve

Welcome! Although I do not suffer with issues from alcohol I understand where you are coming from as an opiate addict. It sounds like you are taking a wonderful first step in your life to get rid of that darn demon in your life! You can do this and everyone on this thread plus many more are here to support you! Let us know of your progress, feelings and thoughts please, we're happy to hear!

The best way to succeed at this is to do it one day at a time, and really do it one day at a time rather than be passive in your abstinence. You must be dynamic in your sobriety.

Welcome Shakey :)

D

You can succeed by not drinking. Sometimes the best solutions are the most simple. Don't make it harder than it is.