In need of hope...
 

Hi all,

So I've been sober for awhile and I'm trying to make some meaningful changes in my life but so far things are moving at a slow pace for me. I hear stories of people who've gotten sober and their lives changed and all these amazing things started happening to them almost out of the blue as a result of staying sober. Well, aside from staying sober, I don't seem to be gaining great things (yes, I know sobriety is a great goal in itself, but I'm talking about more career/love/life goals)...and I feel like I am trying hard but i'm still finding out that well I'm me, just sober. I was hoping to be this more capable, grab life kinda person. Any advice on this? Anyone success stories out there?

How long do you have? Are you in a program or following one?

I have 6 1/2 months (with a two day slip a month ago). I have been going to AA meetings about 2-3 times a week.

Hi, Chris.

I don't know if I have a success story or not. Somedays I feel like I won the lottery since I quit drinking. Other days... not so much. Today, in fact, is a very sad day for me.

So yeah, I guess I'm just a sober version of me. But even on a bad day like today, I can at least feel some measure of self-respect that I'm dealing with my feelings, instead of numbing myself to them. I'm living life—the happy parts, the sad parts, the boring parts. I still have some unfulfilled goals and desires, but I can you this: I'm in a much better position to achieve them now. Being sober doesn't make those things happen, but I have to be sober in order to have a chance of making them happen.

And yeah, like you said, being sober is also very much its own reward. Even on a bad day.

Hi LittleChris

Recovery's definitely not a race - each of us has our own baggage, our own experiences and our own journey - we all heal and grow and move forward at different rates.

It's understandable to do so, but I wouldn't waste to much time comparing yourself to others :)

I have to be honest and say for about the first 6 months of my recovery nothing much happened outwardly in my life....I think I had a lot of damage, both physical and emotional to fix first.

I did feel ever better about my sobriety and my self tho - and eventually that feeling of good will spilled over into my entire life and my relationships...but like R&A I still have down days too - I think everyone does, alcoholic or not :)

stick with it :)
D

Hi Chris,
Thanks for sharing your story here. Do you have a sponsor or a temporary sponsor? For me my recovery really kicked into high gear once I found a sponsor and started working the 12 steps of recovery and working with others.
For me Alcohol and drugs was the way I used to deal with my underlying depression that I have had for years and years. Once I got sober, the depression was more pronounced since I was not masking it with drugs and alcohol (Not that I wasn't ever depressed while drinking)

What helped me was working with a therapist who understood recovery and I working on helping deal with my underlying depression. I also started working out a bit, jogging and keeping active. It helped me stay out of my head.

Keep posting and working at it. Things will get better.