Hi, I'm new here
 

Really wish I didn't have to be here, but I do. And I'm scared. Scared to make this huge change to my life - scared to lose friends, scared to face the monotony of day to day life, scared that I'll fail.

I'm in my mid-40s and other than a 5 year break from ages 36-41 I have been drinking pretty heavily since my late teens. The amount I can consume is frightening and I blackout a lot and then make really dumb decisions. I tried (at the urging of a friend) to "get it under control" a couple months ago. I reduced my drinking from 3-4 nights a week to one night a week and was able to keep it at 4-5 drinks - until last Thursday when I went on a 7 hour bender which ended with me passed out in the bathtub with the water running. I woke up three hours later to a flooded bathroom and hallway. I guess I'm lucky I woke up at all.

Sigh.

I'm glad you found us.

Most of us have tried to control our drinking and it doesn't work. I exhausted myself with planning how to control my drinking and it never lasted for very long, and usually ended up worse than where I started.

It's always a good idea to talk to your dr before detoxing from alcohol because it can be dangerous. And, yes, it's very scary, but it is something that you can do.

Welcome to a supportive site! Been where you are and I've made it 116 days, age 50.

You can stay stopped, too!

I'm happy you are here posting and happy that you made it out of that bathtub alive. What helped me was working with my doctor and discussing a plan of action to get sober. For me that involved doctor supervision and daily attendance of AA meetings in addition to working the 12 steps of recovery.
Please make a appointment with your Doctor and get some help for this issue before it is too late.

Thanks again for your share and I hope that you are able to get the help you need.

Hi haligh

It is scary - and there is change involved...but I honestly never lost out on the deal.
I love my life now and I love who I am...and all that is a direct result of giving up something that was bad for me.

The fear of the change was actually far worse than the change itself, in my experience.

You'll find a lot of support here - welcome! :)

D

I couldn't agree more.:) I was so afraid to live without drinking, but the longer I am sober, the less I can imagine going back to that existance.


:welcome to the family.:hug:

Welcome haligh! You've made a wonderful decision, even though it was hard to do.

I also was afraid I'd be bored and that life would be dull. Yet I was destroying myself and drinking was no longer fun or exciting like it once was. I decided nothing was more boring than being in a fog half the time, & not remembering the events of the previous evening. I remember sitting in bars talking to friends for hours, then the next day not recalling a single thing we talked about. Now that's boring. As you pointed out, it's becoming dangerous too.

I tried for years to control my drinking and it never once worked. Each time I took a drink it was unpredictable where I'd end up. I decided it was easier to just stop than to stay on the rollercoaster. I have never regretted being free of it - I didn't need it to face life the way I thought I did. I know you can do this and have a whole new beginning. Congratulations on your decision - keep reading & posting.

Thanks for the welcomes everyone - I really appreciate it. It's nice to hear the positives. Yeah, I've finally come to realize I cannot control alcohol - it controls me. Monday & Tuesday will be difficult for me as I'm going to the lake with my boyfriend - there was supposed to be beer involved LOL. Maybe I will bring some non-alcoholic beer, or is that a bad idea? I've used it in the past to get through some social occasions where I didn't want to drink.

What adds to all this is that I quit smoking cigs two months ago. Now the thought of no alcohol AND no cigs - ahhhhhhhh.

I find that drinking something other than NA wine or beer is more satisfying, because they just make me want the real thing a little more. I like citrus drinks that are not too sweet or fizzy.

Camping trips for me have always been big drinking parties, and I have yet to do one sober. Good for you in making a plan that will see you comfortably through this tempting time.

Welcome, haligh!

I'm so glad you're here and wanting a better life. I was terrified when I first got here and just couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. I had to break it down into one hour, one day at a time - otherwise the task was just too daunting.

I hope you're not expecting too much of yourself by going camping. I couldn't have done it in the first weeks of sobriety. Have you talked to your boyfriend? Is he supportive?

Not so sure about the non-alcoholic beer - I think that's a personal choice, but knowing myself it would remind me too much of the real stuff. If you do decide to go, make plans to do things (hike, canoe, whatever), take lots of snacks, and a book on recovery so that you can slip off to a quiet place and read if things get tough.

If you feel thats what you need to do by purchasing non alcoholic beer do so. Just be careful though :) I think it might be a good idea. Just imagine trying to white knuckle it those couple of days? May be hard especially if you want to try to stay off alcohol. Maybe get support from the boyfriend if he knows you want to try and stop drinking maybe he won't bring as much or none at all. Good luck though and there is HUGE support at this site! I love it! I've been here every day for the past month since I've been remaining sober at the parents house, I call it a safe haven where I can really take control of my drinking now since no one drinks here.

some recent thoughts on NA beer etc here, in case you missed it haligh :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...51-odouls.html

D