Elisabeth888

My neighbors are outside laughing on their deck with their company enjoying cocktails and I am going to an AA meeting tonight.

I accept that I am not normal and cannot drink but it still sucks sometimes.

lovingit

You can't assume everybody over there is a Normie.

onlythetruth

Someone once quipped "normal is a cycle on the washing machine". Meaning...no one is normal. Not really. All people have problems, and it's a mistake to run around thinking everyone else is living this perfect life, or that alcoholism puts you in some separate and somehow special group of abnormal humanity.

Here's a recent example of this from my own life. When I quit drinking, I lived in a nice neighborhood and was, I confess, a bit envious of a woman who lived down the hill from me. She was beautiful, thin, elegant, and obviously had no problem with alcohol. I thought that, compared to her, my life was crap. Well, turns out that this woman has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness which has essentially destroyed her life. Yeah, she can enjoy a glass of wine without heading off into oblivion like I will do. But normal? Not on your life.

Never compare your insides with someone else's outsides. It's always a mistake.

Elisabeth888

You guys are right. I am feeling sorry for myself which is why a meeting is the perfect place for me to go tonight.

Anna

What I found is this - when I began recovery, I felt different than other people and it annoyed me. But, as the months went by and I began to meet new people and listen to their stories, I realized that everybody has issues. My issue may be different than many people, but we all have a story.

Dee74

I spent a lot of my life wishing I was like someone else, so I know how you feel Elizabeth.

I don't know if I'm normal or not LOL but I've spent a lot of time with my self, working out who I am, and I'm basically at peace now, as much as I can be I think.

I'm me - and noone else can say that, y'know?

I hope the meeting will bring you peace too

The thing is - we can laugh, we can have fun, we can hang out on decks - we can do anything we want now we're sober - we just can't drink, or all that good life goes away.

D

suki44883

Yeah, be thankful that your problem has a solution that you can control. Many people's problems don't.

CarolD

I never aspired to be normal...I really like being special...
and yes....AA gives me that opportunity in each meeting I attend.

By shareing with others I do feel special.

Glad you are going.....

sugarbear1

Remember to grab some sober people and get some ice cream or snack and laughs after the meeting!!

Sugah

As to normal -- I never felt that way drinking, but I do feel normal-for-me when sober. And I can honestly say I've gained more in my recovery from alcoholism than I ever got from alcohol itself.

Enjoy your meeting. I'm headed to one right now, too. It's become something I look forward to every Saturday night.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

1983ritag

I understand where you are coming from. I try and accept the problems that I have, because they are minor compared to what they could be. Everyone has problems in one way or another. None of us are perfect. Its tough to accept that I'm am addict, but I guess that's just one more thing that makes me me.

MrSilver

Is that really the person you want to be, or is it what you think you are suppose to be based on your life experiences?

Sometimes it can be tough to understand who we are because we struggle with being who we are vs being what we think people want us to be. We all have a want to be accepted by others, and we sometimes allow that feeling to control who we are. As an individual it is important not to put limitations on what you want out of life because of how others might react. Remember...progress requires change, and sometimes people don't like or understand that change. Then they are insulting about it as a way to hurt someone who does things that they don't like.

ACT10Npack

Define what a normal person is?

ReadyAndAble

People from around the world all came to this website to offer each other support. Tens of millions of recovering addicts wake up every morning grateful just to be alive.

None of this may be normal, but it's pretty cool.

I hope tomorrow is a better day, Elisabeth.

sprizzy

maybe "WE" are the new normal?
hang in there, tomorrow will certainly be better than today.

Elisabeth888

The meeting was awesome. Totally changed my perspective, as have all of you. Maybe some day I will even be a grateful alcoholic.

freshstart57

When the the discussion of 'normal drinkers' comes up, I remember that for many many people around the world, normal drinking means no drinking.

Zebra1275

Humans probably have millions of different behaviors, genetic traits, physical abilities, mental states, medical conditions, etc. The variabilty of these among us is probably infinite, so the old saying that no two people are actually alike is probably accurate.

As an alcoholic you are probably a statistical outlier (more than a couple of standard deviations from average in math terms) on one variable, drinking.

Anyone who is "normal" (exactly average on millions of variables) is actually pretty abnormal.

soberlicious

This is so true! So many people jsut aren't drinkers. Never were, never will be...what a concept, eh?

and zebra, loved your post. Thinking about that did a little twisty on my brain...which I love! lol... good stuff

This thread reminds me of the saying "if everyone put their troubles in a hat, most people would be happy to pull their own back out again" or something along those lines.

Glad you are feeling better Elisabeth

Zebra1275

This thread reminds me of the saying "if everyone put their troubles in a hat, most people would be happy to pull their own back out again" or something along those lines.


I actually heard that at a meeting today! So true!