sprizzy

Had a good evening last night. Watched a little more US Open with the wife. She told me how proud she was of me for what I was attempting to do. She said that she would do anything she could to help me, even let me fall, and make my own mistakes, if that's what it took. I appreciate that.
Went to bed and listened to an aaspeaker, which was recommended on a previous post. The more I listen and think, the more it makes sense.

Kind of hard to see this morning after a 730 am eye doc visit, but i did want to say that i appreciate the people on this board, and hope that i can stick around and contribute positive thoughts and ideas when i have enough experience/time under my belt to do so.

good luck to all who are just starting, those of us on day 2, and those you have paved the way before us. make today a good one for yourself and your family.

thanks for listening.

Anna

I'm glad you're back today, and keeping an open mind.

SindyLuhu

Sprizzy...glad ur back a little less begrudgingly!

Something I learned yesterday in this whole process is you need to have willingness, honesty, and an open mind. Duh...sometimes the answer is so simple yet I try to make it some einsteinium (is that a word?!) formula.

My most recent fail was due to lack of honesty with myself. I'm working to change that, but it's not comfortable coming to terms with your flaws...

Anyways...keep it up! Your wife sounds like a great support to you! That's awesome!

sprizzy

it will become more clear as the days advance, that i will need her, and my family more than ever.
i'm a lucky guy. i hope that i can make positive changes in my life while i can still think for myself to make them, rather than have someone/something else dictate those changes.
the toughest thing so far is the word "forever". i can't get that out of my mind, but i'm already trying to think about "today", and what i will do after work that doesn't involve booze. play racquetball, run, walk the dog, catch a football game. i guess the possibilities are endless, and i'm sure more doors will open up that i hadn't really thought about before.
my wife teaches, so maybe i'll be helping her more with school functions. heck, i've already been signed up to participate in an all day fundraiser next weekend.

guess i should put in a little productivity at work today. my pupils have almost returned to normal size from the doc's appt.

thanks again to all, and best wishes for a good day.

SindyLuhu

Sounds like you have a great plan for the weekend!

Symmetry

Amazing!!!

doggonecarl

The term "one day at a time" is a direct response to what you are going through. Live each day as it comes instead of thinking about tomorrow. This makes recovery something you are doing at this moment and not projecting into the future, which can be daunting.

I, however, needed to grasp the concept of forever, because when I heard the saying "one day at a time" I heard just the "One day..." as in, One day I will be able to drink.

Once I understood that I wasn't a normal drinker, would never be a normal drinker, and that this meant I could never drink, I accepted my recovery. I'm not afraid of forever...forever is the goal.

But that is me. Everyone uses what works. This works for me, I hope you find what works for you. Good luck.

sprizzy

thanks for the words.
hey carl, odu graduate here, class of 92. go monarchs.

i've heard that it's one day at a time. to me, it's kind of like walking in the dark, and you can only see as far as your flashlight shines. it's just scary knowing what is beyond the beam of light. could be a monster, or it could be paradise. tough to find out if you don't keep walking...

thanks and hope today is positive and productive.

looking forward to my first "dry weekend" in many, many moons.

artsoul

I'm sure we can all relate to that..... I think that's why the AA saying "One Day At A Time" is so helpful to many of us. It's hard to think about doing anything forever.....it's too overwhelming. And all we really have is today anyway.

It's normal at first to feel a variety of emotions: scared, sad, irritable, bored, unmotivated...... It's normal to think "how will I do ______ without drinking?" and worry about going to parties or seeing our drinking friends. That's where this forum really helped me and reminded me of where I'd been and that I wasn't just giving something up - I was gaining so much more.

I still use "one day at a time" - it helps me with a lot of things, not just staying sober. Today's problems are plenty for me.....! And making good choices today give me what I need to face tomorrow.

Hope that helps a little. I commend you for being here and taking a step in a new direction.

doggonecarl

Same here! Good luck this weekend.

LaFemme

Sprizzy, here is the thread I mentioned yesterday. Jabba came to this site after deciding to give up alcohol for a little while because his wife wanted him to. I think reading his journey might be helpful to you since I saw a lot of parallels...hope it helps

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-now-here.html

Hevyn

Sprizzy - I was so happy to read your posts. You're doing great. Staying busy is a good plan - no time to feel sorry for yourself, or think about what you're missing. (Though in reality, you're not missing a thing.) Very proud of you!

sprizzy

i read your suggested post, lafemme. that was a scary read. so many similarities.
home from work, a friend and his young son made a surprise visit, and we worked on a small deck for a bit. he asked where my after work beer was, i said they're in the fridge if you want one, but i just changed anxiety meds, and if i want them to work, i can't drink.
he said, "cool, hope you can sleep better", and that was that. one of my better friends who would take me for who i am. going to walk the dog before the wife returns home from dinner with her friend. i

idle hands pick up 12 ounce cans.

thanks for listening. good luck to all this evening.

Dee74

My flashlight got bigger the longer I stayed sober LOL - my life is as much shadow free as the next mans now

what are you going to do with those cans in the fridge Sprizzy?

D

sprizzy

good to know that your light is shining brighter. hopefully, i just put in a new set of rechargeable batteries...
the beer in the fridge, actually bottles, are for my dad. my folks come over every tuesday after the ymca for pizza. he has one, and drives my mom home. she has 1 glass of wine. i usually ran home from the y, drank 2 beers, and had one with pizza, then a couple after they left. guess that's not normal.
the wife is home, the dog only wanted me to hit the tennis ball about 5 times before she was done. so, we're all home now and ready for whatever comes next.
i'm envisioning lots of water, probably some bad tv, and early bed.
forgot that we have a 5k charity race tomorrow morning at 8 am. i'll have to celebrate with some overpriced coffee. looking forward to tomorrow.

hope everyone can find some peace tonight.

LaFemme

Honestly, I was walking in the valley of shadows when I drank...now I spend my time in the sunshine

Good luck on the race tomorrow!