A bad addict finds hope. (my story)
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Tennessee
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A bad addict finds hope. (my story)
The last several years of my life have been an utter disappointment. I spent my days lying, stealing, and scavenging to get my next high. I am so ashamed of myself for the damage I caused and especially for hurting the ones who loved me.
Around 2003 at age 22 I started popping hydros and percocets when I could get them but it was in no way an addiction. Then one day I got news that I needed a major surgery and spent half a year on Oxycontins. I wanted to feel that euphoria 24/7. After recovery I was able to convince the doctors I was still in pain and got bottle after bottle for 2-3 years. But then I was cut off so I turned to the streets. At the time I was in college and had the greatest girlfriend a young man could ask for, She was loyal, honest, attractive, and most of all she loved me completely. Well without my pills i turned to the streets and next thing i know I am 25 years old, a full blown addict, broke, and single. All the lies, theft, and mood swings pushed the love of my life away and she would never come back.
So in 2008 at age 26 I had given up on life. I only cared about getting enough dope in me to keep from getting sick. I went through so many jobs that I cant even remember half of them. I was going nowhere fast. Then one cold night in March of 2008 I took a handful of xanax, snorted about 150mg of oxycontin, and chewed on a fentanyl patch. Luckily my sister walked in my house just as my cold blue body stopped breathing. She saved my life. Well her and my brother who gave me CPR. I came to in the ambulance freezing to death. At the hospital I was told I was on the borderline of not making it. I spent one night in the hospital and to beat all two days later I was back to my old ways. I just didnt care.
In 2009 I started Suboxone treatment and it went well for a long time. I held a job and even had steady relationships with girls and even had a healthy family relationship. Things were getting better. But in 2010 I was laid off and when i lost my insurance I could no longer afford my doctor visit or perscription. So I made it clean for a while until I fell back in my old ways. So Christmas 2010 I started Methadone treatment since it was legal and cheaper. I did it all the way until April 18 2011 when I was arrested for selling drugs. Then and there i decided I wanted out of the life. I wanted free of the addiction and I vowed to succeed. Methadone withdrawal was worse than anything I had ever experienced. I spent 20 days in jail sick as a dog. And then I went straight to my recovery program. It had no detox so I had to do it all cold turkey. I went to a christian training center, not a rehab. I learned how I could not beat this addiction alone, I needed God. And I found God. While there I was saved and baptized. So now Sept 09, 2011 I am a reborn christian who has been clean since April 18, 2011 after a 9 year addiction. But most importantly I found the Lord and for once I feel good about my life. God has the answer to everything. Seek him and you will find it. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13
Around 2003 at age 22 I started popping hydros and percocets when I could get them but it was in no way an addiction. Then one day I got news that I needed a major surgery and spent half a year on Oxycontins. I wanted to feel that euphoria 24/7. After recovery I was able to convince the doctors I was still in pain and got bottle after bottle for 2-3 years. But then I was cut off so I turned to the streets. At the time I was in college and had the greatest girlfriend a young man could ask for, She was loyal, honest, attractive, and most of all she loved me completely. Well without my pills i turned to the streets and next thing i know I am 25 years old, a full blown addict, broke, and single. All the lies, theft, and mood swings pushed the love of my life away and she would never come back.
So in 2008 at age 26 I had given up on life. I only cared about getting enough dope in me to keep from getting sick. I went through so many jobs that I cant even remember half of them. I was going nowhere fast. Then one cold night in March of 2008 I took a handful of xanax, snorted about 150mg of oxycontin, and chewed on a fentanyl patch. Luckily my sister walked in my house just as my cold blue body stopped breathing. She saved my life. Well her and my brother who gave me CPR. I came to in the ambulance freezing to death. At the hospital I was told I was on the borderline of not making it. I spent one night in the hospital and to beat all two days later I was back to my old ways. I just didnt care.
In 2009 I started Suboxone treatment and it went well for a long time. I held a job and even had steady relationships with girls and even had a healthy family relationship. Things were getting better. But in 2010 I was laid off and when i lost my insurance I could no longer afford my doctor visit or perscription. So I made it clean for a while until I fell back in my old ways. So Christmas 2010 I started Methadone treatment since it was legal and cheaper. I did it all the way until April 18 2011 when I was arrested for selling drugs. Then and there i decided I wanted out of the life. I wanted free of the addiction and I vowed to succeed. Methadone withdrawal was worse than anything I had ever experienced. I spent 20 days in jail sick as a dog. And then I went straight to my recovery program. It had no detox so I had to do it all cold turkey. I went to a christian training center, not a rehab. I learned how I could not beat this addiction alone, I needed God. And I found God. While there I was saved and baptized. So now Sept 09, 2011 I am a reborn christian who has been clean since April 18, 2011 after a 9 year addiction. But most importantly I found the Lord and for once I feel good about my life. God has the answer to everything. Seek him and you will find it. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13
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