Tough Week for Recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Ny,ny
Posts: 2
Tough Week for Recovery
Hi my name is Will, this is my first post so i figure ill tell you guys whats goin on as well as some background..and try to keep it short. Well im 21 and been clean for 2.5 months. I quit drugs (specifcally pills, but quit all of them), alcohol, and ciggerettes at the same time. So I've kind of been on edge to say the least.
So yesterday I got a text message from my ex girlfriend to go to my favorite bar. As hard as it was not to go i didn't. It really stressed me out though and that led to today.
So I went to my college to try to declare a major. After 3 years of being in school high and drunk most of the time I want to try to start doing as well as i can. I had to go see the head of the department and have a meeting with him. Anyway he starts telling me the truth of that i can't declare this major because my grades were so poor in the past and all this. Now he defiantly went a little overboard and berated me with how bad im doing in front of the line of like 15 people waiting but that is no excuse. For some reason i snapped at him and started cursing and tell him i dont give a ****. In my blind rage i punched his bookshelf and knocked over like 50 text books. At this point i kind of start to realize what im doing and get the hell out of there. Now im home and am realizing what just happend. I never had this kind of anger outburst in my life.
So i guess I have a few questions. Has anyone ever encountered this type of anger in their recovery? If so how did you handle it? Also what should i do
?
So yesterday I got a text message from my ex girlfriend to go to my favorite bar. As hard as it was not to go i didn't. It really stressed me out though and that led to today.
So I went to my college to try to declare a major. After 3 years of being in school high and drunk most of the time I want to try to start doing as well as i can. I had to go see the head of the department and have a meeting with him. Anyway he starts telling me the truth of that i can't declare this major because my grades were so poor in the past and all this. Now he defiantly went a little overboard and berated me with how bad im doing in front of the line of like 15 people waiting but that is no excuse. For some reason i snapped at him and started cursing and tell him i dont give a ****. In my blind rage i punched his bookshelf and knocked over like 50 text books. At this point i kind of start to realize what im doing and get the hell out of there. Now im home and am realizing what just happend. I never had this kind of anger outburst in my life.
So i guess I have a few questions. Has anyone ever encountered this type of anger in their recovery? If so how did you handle it? Also what should i do
?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Yea i did, i used to hold in my thoughts pretty good even when i shouldnt, one day at about 3 months sober i screamed at a friend pretty good after he went off on me, i appoligized but i havnt seen him since, its been 3 months.
I think emotions are something we have to re-learn when we sober up, the stuff we cover up all of a sudden becomes real.
Hang in there, all you can do is apoligize and let the chips fall where they may...
I think emotions are something we have to re-learn when we sober up, the stuff we cover up all of a sudden becomes real.
Hang in there, all you can do is apoligize and let the chips fall where they may...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 19
Yeah that happens to us sometimes.
The best thing to do, and the hardest, is to go back and apologize to this department head.
I mean really take responsibility, no excuses.
You might be able to be honest with him about your situation, but don't use it as an excuse.
The anger is pretty normal when we get clean, what matters is how we handle the situation after it happens. Deal with it upfront and honestly and you'll grow from it.
The best thing to do, and the hardest, is to go back and apologize to this department head.
I mean really take responsibility, no excuses.
You might be able to be honest with him about your situation, but don't use it as an excuse.
The anger is pretty normal when we get clean, what matters is how we handle the situation after it happens. Deal with it upfront and honestly and you'll grow from it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry that happened.
I think a lot of us have a lot of rage in us, Will1.
Have you considered some counselling, or seeing a Dr about anger issues?
It might not only help you but it may be helpful in mending fences with the Dept Head if the University were to see you're doing your best now to deal with your problems.
If a recovery programme - be it AA or SMART or whatever - isn't too much for you to consider, that may help too....
again, primarily for you and your well being, but it may also be a sign of good faith to others that you're aware of your problems and trying to sort them out?
You'll find a lot of support here no matter what you decide
Welcome
I think a lot of us have a lot of rage in us, Will1.
Have you considered some counselling, or seeing a Dr about anger issues?
It might not only help you but it may be helpful in mending fences with the Dept Head if the University were to see you're doing your best now to deal with your problems.
If a recovery programme - be it AA or SMART or whatever - isn't too much for you to consider, that may help too....
again, primarily for you and your well being, but it may also be a sign of good faith to others that you're aware of your problems and trying to sort them out?
You'll find a lot of support here no matter what you decide
Welcome
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Ny,ny
Posts: 2
Hey, thanks for the replies everyone. I think you guys are right that I would benefit from some sort of counseling, I've been seriously thinking about goin to an NA meeting but keep chickening out idk.. So I guess this is part of recovery? By the way definatly plan on apologizing tmrw as long as I'm not met by police or security when I go to school tmrw.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Can't say that I've had that kind of experience, but then I haven't quit cigarettes yet.....!
I think an immediate and sincere apology would be in order. You might mention that this wasn't like you at all, that you just quit smoking and had an adjustment in medication (which is kind of true!). Admit you've not been on top of things, and then just show him you can do it!
(I'd offer to pay for any damages to his office, too, even if you don't think there were any).
Early sobriety is stressful. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. You may be experiencing some of the symptoms of PAWS, or you might just be stressed out. Give yourself some credit for being sober and chalk this up as a learning experience.
I think an immediate and sincere apology would be in order. You might mention that this wasn't like you at all, that you just quit smoking and had an adjustment in medication (which is kind of true!). Admit you've not been on top of things, and then just show him you can do it!
(I'd offer to pay for any damages to his office, too, even if you don't think there were any).
Early sobriety is stressful. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. You may be experiencing some of the symptoms of PAWS, or you might just be stressed out. Give yourself some credit for being sober and chalk this up as a learning experience.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 453
Congrats on getting sober. I too quit everything at once.
What helped me was going to meeting daily at least for the initial few months.
Went to different meetings and found some people who I got along with and was able to socialize with (who were sober ) I found a temporary sponsor early on to help me work the steps. I found a therapist who understood recovery and helped me manage my thoughts and feelings of anger. I joined a crossfit gym and worked out hard everyother day to release some "steam"
I also only met people I used to party with in non bar public places , restraunts, movie theatres and not at our old using places (studios,houses,apartments etc.). This helped me keep the crave triggers a little more manageable.
As for the outburst you had at the head of the department, i totally understand how you felt. That guy was publically humiliating you. You had a right to be dissapointed in that unfortunatly you acted it out in a non-helpfull way. You knew you did and know you now need to "own up" to it and deal with the consequences. What I have found in sobriety is that being honest and admitting my mistakes ensured I would have less "reasons" I needed to use or drink.
Good luck to you, you can do this!
What helped me was going to meeting daily at least for the initial few months.
Went to different meetings and found some people who I got along with and was able to socialize with (who were sober
) I found a temporary sponsor early on to help me work the steps. I found a therapist who understood recovery and helped me manage my thoughts and feelings of anger. I joined a crossfit gym and worked out hard everyother day to release some "steam" I also only met people I used to party with in non bar public places , restraunts, movie theatres and not at our old using places (studios,houses,apartments etc.). This helped me keep the crave triggers a little more manageable.
As for the outburst you had at the head of the department, i totally understand how you felt. That guy was publically humiliating you. You had a right to be dissapointed in that unfortunatly you acted it out in a non-helpfull way. You knew you did and know you now need to "own up" to it and deal with the consequences. What I have found in sobriety is that being honest and admitting my mistakes ensured I would have less "reasons" I needed to use or drink.
Good luck to you, you can do this!
Last edited by SeekSobriety; 09-09-2011 at 08:51 AM. Reason: Iphone typing, sorry :)
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