willdequit

It seems like I have to drink every night. I'm tired of feeling run down in the day time. Every morning I say, I won't drink, than by evening I'm having a drink and saying I'll just have a couple, but I drink more until I'm kind of drunk and pass out. I plan to get pills that help with cravings, or even a shot I heard you could get. I am so tired of this I decided to even try that. Drinking makes me depressed. I am lonely ever since I got a divorce ten years ago and never found a new partner. I missed up some relationships because of drinking. But I think drinking just makes me not grow and stuck in a depressed state of mind and in the day time I just think about the past too much and miss it, like it was so much more fun or something. So I drink to kill the pain. The only thing is, the past that I'm thinking about all the time was plagued with drinking and problems.

smacked

So what's the plan? Meetings? Counseling? Rehab?

I couldn't do it alone. Even thought I was self medicating with alcohol and drugs, I was actually creating the things I thought I was medicating away.

I hope you feel better soon.

thisisforellie

You will be surprised how many blessing come into your life after you stop drinking. You will be surround by love and support, you will feel great, you will feel whole. Give it a try -- reach out -- ask for help. And just don't drink today. You can do it.

Hevyn

Hi willdequit - welcome to our family. We've all been where you are & there is a way out.

I'm so glad you see what needs to be done. You know that alcohol is holding you down and making your life miserable. Some never understand what they're doing to themselves. It's so hard to admit that there's no happiness or hope in the bottom of that bottle.

Please keep reading & posting - you can do this.

Dee74

Hi willdequit
Welcome to SR

I was stuck in a similar rut...drinking to ease my pain, that to a large extent was either engendered or perpetuated by my drinking....

The support & ideas I found here helped me turn things round, stop drinking, and break the cycle.
You'll find a lot of encouragement here.

So, like Smacked said - any ideas on your plan?

D

willdequit

Thanks, I feel good today, early and not hung over. Still a little lathargic however. I need to start trying to eat good too I guess. My plan is counseling, I'm going to see someone today in fact. So I think the plan is to start eating better, working out, go to a counselor and stay away from alcohol, and also get the shot to curb cravings. I also plan to go on this site just to write about what I'm up to and see what other people are doing to stay sober. The reason I want to be on this site is because I feel like I need to hear other people's stories and have support, however, I don't want to post on my facebook or something like that, because I don't want all my friends, aquantances and family to know all this negative stuff about me. So thanks for the support my annonymous friends, lol.

RaulRittch

I know exactly how you feel. I went threw the same situation including drugs. I wasnt depressed at the moment, in fact i would love doing it just because it was fun. But it wasnt worth it. Every morning i would wake up feeling miserable, depressed and tired. By the time i would get out of work i'd feel better and the cycle starts over again. Drinking, smoking and wasting my life.

You can do it!!

artsoul

Welcome Willdequit -

I'm glad you've decided you want a better life. I thought I was drinking to cope, but alcohol was really taking me further into depression and anxiety. I wasn't at all positive about my life. Getting sober turned all that around.

Just take it one day at a time and get through the early days. I remember feeling so tired and unmotivated, but it gets better, so hang in there!!:day6

willdequit

Had no drinks yesterday. Went to a counselor. She talked about cognitive distortions and the cycle of depression, guilt and anger. I started reading on the internet about faulty thought processes and cognitive distortions. One site says that this type of therapy is very successful for treating alcoholics because it teaches them why they started drinking in the first place and the person has to relearn how to think right, they may never have known how to think properly because of bad role models when they were growing up or abuse. In my example, I regret what I did, I don't forgive myself and I think that I'll never have anything that good again, my chances for a happy life is lost. This type of thought process doesn't allow me to grow, make good decisions now or interact with the people or the world around me in a positive outlookinig way. Alcohol is a depressant, so after I drink it I feel guilt and I re-live bad things that happened in my life, so i am stuck in this cylce of depression. When I was a teenager I remember seeing my aunts and others in the village sobbing after a few days of heavy drinking. They would be crying about lost loved ones, broken relationships and so on. I used to think, didn't we already deal with that 6 years ago? I knew it was the alcohol making them depressed, but for some reason now as an older adult I became like them and I wonder why I'm depressed!

lilotto

willdequit kudos for you on your decision for a life of sobriety and recovery. Yes it can be tough in the beginning you didn't become an alcoholic over night and you won't be rid of the desires and issues revolving around your disease over night. As you will hear more than once take it one day at a time. Take baby steps before you try to run the Marathon.

willdequit

I feel a lot of energy today, thanks for all the posts and support everyone. Even two days of not drinking helps.

artsoul

Way to go, willdequit! Your counselor makes a lot of sense...... A lot of us used alcohol to self-medicate. In fact, alcoholics more often have depression, anxiety, or other mental/emotion issues, than the general population.

I'm so glad you're getting some extra help right now. Take it one day at a time and remember it's a process...... Have a great weekend!:day6

Blimey

I typed into Google, "2 beers and hungover" and found this forum. I'm 43 and I think I'm falling into the trap that a lot of middle-agers fall into. The party days are coming to an end. I gave up coke in my 20's, marijauna in my 30's and now it looks like it's going to be alcohol in my 40's. The hangovers are gettin' worse and worse. 2.5 beers just about killed me the other night. It felt like 25 beers the next day. It's tough being straight all the time. I'm trying to get a real job. I think that would help. Right now I'm bored out of my skull. That's what drives me to drink. Talk to ya'll later.

Zebra1275

Welcome!

Blimey, alcoholism is progressive, and as you've noticed the older you get the harder it bites you the next day. I think our bodies just get tired of having poison poured into them.

least

When I was drinking I couldn't imagine living without it. Now that I'm sober I can't imagine living that sort of life again... I was miserable then and I'm happy now. Living sober rocks!

Hevyn

Willdequit - Great news - it's good to hear you sounding so positive.

Blimey - Welcome to the family - we're so glad you found us. Congrats for realizing the party's over. You can do this! Keep posting & let us know more about you.

Dee74

Welcome aboard Blimey
You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here

Feel free to start your own thread and share a little more of your story, if you like

D

willdequit

Well it's been a long time. I'm still trying to stay sober, but haven't been sober all these months since I last posted. I fill off and got on the wagon a few times. I started running and working out. Right now it's one hour before the store closes and I'm not going there and getting anything to drink. Instead I'm on this site saying what's up and reading some of these threads to help me stay away from it.

IndaMiricale

Glad to see you back and here.

Dee74

welcome back willdequit

I remember trying with all my might not to go to the liquor store. Not an experience I'd wish on anyone...

Do you think it might be time to try something different, other approaches?
D