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MesoFreak 09-06-2011 04:01 AM

I am undecided...
 
...about quitting drinking or not. Most of the time I am in control of it. I love beer very much. I am no talking cheap, tasteless beer. I am talking full flavored Rasputin, Kasteel, Racer 5 IPA. I am a beer connoisseur. I love it so much I started brewing my own beer!

The problem is everyone once in a while, at least once a twice a month I like to binge drink, and at least once to three times per year I like to get smashed. For example last night I went to a friends surprise party and bought a bottle of wine. I was going to stay a couple hours and head back home to study. I have been studying ridiculously hard (I have five classes) so I said what the hell I will unwind a bit. A couple hours turned into eight, and a few drinks turned into 10-13! My girl drove home, at this point I don't remember anything. I went to restroom, I ended up throwing up on floor, jeans, shirt. I was to belligerent to clean anything up so I started spreading everything. I jumped in shower with my clothes, I fell asleep with the shower on. Mind you the drain is not working properly so he tub was filled enough to if I would have slipped under I may have drowned. My girlfriend woke me up from shower 3 hours later, and obviously was pissed off. She was speaking to me but I was so out of it I could barely make out what she was saying to me.

Stupidity like this makes me so angry with myself (this is just ONE instance). I needed to study today but I couldn't for most of the day because I was recuperating, so it was a waste! I am disappointed in myself because I am in general a smart guy. I want to stop, but at the same time I don't; I am not sure if that makes sense??? I have about 30 delicious beers that I made in the garage, and four store bought ones. I like to have a beer or wine sometimes with dinner. Or if I am studying and my head hurts I open up a bottle and study for hours. I don't these instances are the problem. The problem is getting stupid drunk and doing stupid things. But that could just be my alcoholic mind clouding my mind to having a drinking problem.

ACT10Npack 09-06-2011 04:14 AM

It's really up to you if you feel like quitting. Just asking yourself if you have a problem with alcohol. Getting drunk in college has become a new thing these days but your body will crave it more and more over time. It's something that you should not abuse. Getting drunk alone are signs that your having problems with alcohol. If you can't have a few beers at a time and you need to get drunk a few times a month then it means that you have a problem with alcohol.

Better off not drinking and your will be better. Don't worry what people think about you. Most people respect other that don't drink. It's something that is hard for a lot to do

Question, how long have you been drinking and do you suffer with depression and do you take meds for it?

MesoFreak 09-06-2011 04:27 AM


Originally Posted by ACT10Npack (Post 3095495)
It's really up to you if you feel like quitting. Just asking yourself if you have a problem with alcohol. Getting drunk in college has become a new thing these days but your body will crave it more and more over time. It's something that you should not abuse. Getting drunk alone are signs that your having problems with alcohol. If you can't have a few beers at a time and you need to get drunk a few times a month then it means that you have a problem with alcohol.

Better off not drinking and your will be better. Don't worry what people think about you. Most people respect other that don't drink. It's something that is hard for a lot to do

Question, how long have you been drinking and do you suffer with depression and do you take meds for it?

I am now 27 years old, I began drinking at 14. I am (not diagnosed) chronically depressed. Meaning it seems I am depressed about something or another which seems to me like its most of the time. I don't take pills for it because I don't have medical insurance to see a doctor about my depression.

ACT10Npack 09-06-2011 04:38 AM


Originally Posted by MesoFreak (Post 3095503)
I am now 27 years old, I began drinking at 14. I am (not diagnosed) chronically depressed. Meaning it seems I am depressed about something or another which seems to me like its most of the time. I don't take pills for it because I don't have medical insurance to see a doctor about my depression.

Better off stop drinking for now and see how your feel. Why not take a few months off from alcohol and then decide then.

instant 09-06-2011 05:15 AM

Only you can decide if you have a problem. I would encourage you to factor in what is known about alcohol addiction into your thinking and decision making. If the above post was about narcotics you might see your problem differently, and not romanticise how the drug is flavoured and packaged.

Alcohol is an addictive substance and the progressive loss of control is one of the central aspects of the developing addiction.

Like many others here I have been through a struggle to maintain the "good" parts of alcohol and not get any of the bad. I have now given up trying that because after many years of my best efforts I have been beaten and I am finally proud to say I surrender.

It can be a difficult road. I wish you peace.

Anna 09-06-2011 05:25 AM

If you decide to stop drinking, you need to really want to live a sober life.

I hope that you make the choice to be a non-drinker.

saphira 09-06-2011 05:59 AM

My husband is a lot like you. He is a manager at a liquor store and his favorite part of the job is buying beer for the store. He is into all those good quality high-end types of beer. He has always been really cautious with it. He rarely has more than one, and even then only drinks one or two times a month. That means one to two beers a month. He is mainly cautious because he has seen first-hand (with me) how things can spiral out of control.

I agree with those above who said why not just lay off for awhile. Nobody can tell you if you truly have a problem except you, but whether or not you have the ability to stop for a month or two should tell you a lot. Best of luck to you! :)

LaFemme 09-06-2011 06:05 AM

Why not try quitting for 6 months? See how you feel?

EmeraldRose 09-06-2011 07:49 AM

I always thought that liquor would help me keep a handle on my concentration, life situations and I was in control. I didn't binge in the early days but drank everyday thinking it was 'helping' my life.
Well, 30 years later...I was drinking anything with an alcohol content (except mouthwash lol) binging for days at a time, hiding it, lost my job, and realized that I was not in control.
Remember that its a progressive disease and if you have any reservations over your drinking you may want to stop for a time -this will either confirm or delete your fears of having a problem.

Symmetry 09-06-2011 08:24 AM


Originally Posted by saphira (Post 3095585)
My husband is a lot like you. He is a manager at a liquor store and his favorite part of the job is buying beer for the store. He is into all those good quality high-end types of beer. He has always been really cautious with it. He rarely has more than one, and even then only drinks one or two times a month. That means one to two beers a month. He is mainly cautious because he has seen first-hand (with me) how things can spiral out of control.

I agree with those above who said why not just lay off for awhile. Nobody can tell you if you truly have a problem except you, but whether or not you have the ability to stop for a month or two should tell you a lot. Best of luck to you! :)

Absolutely. Much like eating good expensive chocolate. A whole bare once or twice a month. What if I ate 6 chocoalte bars a day? I realized that I had a problem when I could not enjoy those lovely craft beers like your husband. Since quitting, I just don't care about the art of beer anymore. I've taken up new hobbies.

silly 09-06-2011 08:44 AM

Alcohol itself is a depressant. Without it, perhaps your depression will lift a bit, too. I know there have been many, many studies on this topic. It takes several weeks to see results so maybe you can stop drinking for 3-4 months to see if there are any improvements?

MesoFreak 09-06-2011 12:40 PM

I want to thank every single one of you for posting a comment on my indecision to a very touchy important matter. It is very inspirational to know there are people as strong as all of you to say NO to the social norms of drinking. You guys are amazing, and I one day strive to be like you, or at least like Saphiras’ husband. Let me tell you more about myself, and my encounters with alcoholism. From the mid-May to mid-August I drank five days out of the week roughly about a glass or two of wine, or a beer or two. Once I start I can stop drinking, except when I start drinking with the thought of getting belligerent. Once school began it went from five times a week to once a week or once every two weeks. I haven’t craved it; the only thing on my mind is to focus on my studies… Except my friends’ birthday party this past Sunday.

Alcoholism runs in my dads’ side of the family. My dad is an alcoholic and he, sad to say, is useless to his wife as he was a father. He has no ambition, he has no worries, and I dislike him for pushing all the worries to my mother. As my dad as an example of how not to be a man I have always been careful not to like alcohol too much. I used to periodically stop for a couple months to ensure I have control: I have not stopped for a few months, for awhile... I want to say I will stop until the end of the semester, but with my brother here that I haven't seen for a five years (he likes to have beer), grabbing a beer with af few study buddies after a good week of studying, and the holidays approaching saying I won’t drink is very unrealistic at this moment. Had it been January I think I would be able to last the semester, about four months without alcohol.

The reasons I want to stop is because my mom doesn't want me to be like my father (neither do I). When I have kids I don't want to put them through things I went through with my father. I feel like I lost a few brain cells getting that drunk and feel stupider (literally lol), but I don't know if it is because I did lose a few brain cells or because I was stupid enough to get that drunk, again, that I feel stupid. I want to stop to prove I can!

I have some great friends that don't drink, and I have some great friends that do. My girlfriend does not drink at all, and sometimes wishes she would but I am glad she doesn’t. If this is all for nothing I would to thank all of you for listening. I wish I could provide support to you, but still drinking I don’t know how supportive it would sound coming from me. I want to improve my life so I am going to cut it back a lot. Also, I want to say this here, I don’t ever want to get belligerent again if I do that means I have a problem and need to stop. So if one day I show up saying such a thing remind me I need to stop.

MesoFreak 09-06-2011 12:43 PM


Originally Posted by saphira (Post 3095585)
My husband is a lot like you. He is a manager at a liquor store and his favorite part of the job is buying beer for the store. He is into all those good quality high-end types of beer. He has always been really cautious with it. He rarely has more than one, and even then only drinks one or two times a month. That means one to two beers a month. He is mainly cautious because he has seen first-hand (with me) how things can spiral out of control.

I agree with those above who said why not just lay off for awhile. Nobody can tell you if you truly have a problem except you, but whether or not you have the ability to stop for a month or two should tell you a lot. Best of luck to you! :)


I want to be like that!:c011: I want to own restaurant/bars with my own craft brew on tap. But in order to make good beer you have taste it (like food), but tasting it and downing a few a day are two different things. Thanks for this, it can be done I will strive for that.

MesoFreak 09-06-2011 12:47 PM


Originally Posted by silly (Post 3095728)
Alcohol itself is a depressant. Without it, perhaps your depression will lift a bit, too. I know there have been many, many studies on this topic. It takes several weeks to see results so maybe you can stop drinking for 3-4 months to see if there are any improvements?

I really like this suggestion man. I never thought that my drinking would be contributing to my depression. I will stop for half four months coming January for the hell of it. If it works, I will stop drinking entirely. If it doesn't then drinking is not the root my depression.

ETA 09-06-2011 02:07 PM

I hear you... I'm a huge beer fan - yummy craft beer - I even grew my own hops.

I just have to accept that I can't drink anything, ever. The risk is too great.

I tried to moderate but always went back to drinking too much. Those once in a while bad nights were really scary. What if I got a DUI, what if I killed someone with my car?

I hated giving up beer (and wine and yummy mixed drinks and food with liquor in it) but for me I was one or two bad nights away from F'ing up my life BIG TIME.

If you can moderate then that's awesome. Your story is very extreme - most people don't get that drunk. Keep a good eye on it. If you are on this website that's a bit of a warning.

This site is a fantastic resource - really amazing community here. Keep reading.

Supercrew 09-06-2011 02:44 PM

I could have wrote your initial post almost verbatim about 20 years ago. The problem was I never got to the point where I could control it all of the time. I dreamed of owning a bar/brewery, but then every month or so I end up passed out in my own vomit or urine. Then I would say, "I'm not gonna let that happen again", and I would apologize to all who I might have vomited on or pissed off, then that drunken a-hole would find his way back into my life. I never honestly thought of quitting drinking for good, because I didn't think it was possible for a guy like me to be successful and have fun and never drink. So I progressed over a 20 year period to a guy who was mentally and physically addicted to drinking. My life was drinking. I finally quit because I had to, but I truly wish I would have quit 20 years earlier. If you can quit it now you will thank yourself in 20 years. You will be richer, happier, more successful and more fulfilled. My 20 year bout of depression also disappeared once I quit.

MesoFreak 09-07-2011 03:34 AM

ETA wow you grow hops. I want to be happy but thinking about not being able to enjoy a beer makes me sad. Supercrew, i don't know what to say; except maybe i will try to stop drinking. I am leaning to not doing it anymore especially after my girlfriend resaid I could have drowned/died... again.

For dinner time with food what do you guys suggest I should drink that is good compliment to my food? I guess instead of having a nice tall glass of beer I could have a nice tall glass of ice cream for a week of hard studying. Boy do I love ice cream :)

I already know where this path will end, I am just prolonging the inevitable. I will probably need some buddies along the way

instant 09-07-2011 04:08 AM


Originally Posted by MesoFreak (Post 3096518)
I want to be happy but thinking about not being able to enjoy a beer makes me sad.

For dinner time with food what do you guys suggest I should drink that is good compliment to my food?

You are an intelligent young man. I would encourage you to examine the logic in the above statements.

You may not find it relevant to your current situation but many who come here have visited the "Rational recovery" website and learned about the "addictive voice" (AV) and how to recognise it.

Alcoholism has a genetic component. My father stopped drinking 45 years ago. My brother and sister have significant alcohol addiction. I believe (but am no expert) is that what is inherited is the tendency to develop "craving". As far as I can gather "normal" people do not have this.

In my experience the craving induced by alcohol gets worse over the years and makes it harder to stop. Like cancer it is best caught early.

Best of luck in your journey

ACT10Npack 09-07-2011 04:14 AM

Before you started to drink beer, what beverage did you usual consume? When you answer that then you know what you should drink. Keep everything in moderation and life would go will for you.

zorilla 09-07-2011 04:27 AM

maybe i shouldn't be posting since i am still drinking(please delete my post monitors if i shouldn't)I just keep thinking quit drinking for awhile.if you don't have a problem this should very easy.


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