Newcomer?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 9
Newcomer?
Here is my story.
I had a lot of bad things go down in my life... spring, summer 2010... Friends, family. I was using opium 2 - 3 times a week to get through work. Then I added on amphetamines (dextroamphetamine) and soon after, alcohol.
For me, the gateway drug was opium and amphetamines. The drug that did me in was alcohol.
I started drinking more and more on nights of days that I would use opium / dex for work. Eventually it all caught up to me and I ended up leaving(quitting suddenly) work. This is not normal behaviour for an engineer. Getting drunk and saying some things to friends that I shouldn't have. I decided to leave work for the better of my health (to stop the drugs)
I could have taken advantage of insurance at my work to get into recovery, and my job would have been waiting for me. But I was too stubborn and proud to admit such things and felt I needed to just remove the "original" stressor, work, so I could remove the need to use.
Well, it worked out just the opposite. I got worse. I isolated, shut off my phone for weeks, months at a time. I used more often and drank even harder.
This went on for 6 more months.
The thing is, I would use heavily for two days, then take 2-3 days off everything. I thought If I was able to do this I wasn't really dependent. At first, after downing 18 or so drinks and some benedryl, I would literally sleep for 24 straight hours. The opium tended to stay in my system for a long time. I would take 3 days off and repeat all three drugs.
Eventually when I awoke I would have terrible control of my arms, like I had parkinson's or something. But I could get through it b/c of the opium. It really numbed the pain of hangover/withdrawl. Eventually the shaking turned into panic attacks. The panic attacks only got worse and eventually I ended up in the ER a couple of times. ER docs were of no help. Later on I would discover it was alcohol withdrawl. It gets worse every time.
Eventually I had to keep drinking all of the time to control a myriad of symptoms I won't go into now. I managed to find a detox hospital and luckily my debit card overdrafted to my credit card to pay their admit fee. I was in inpatient for 6 days, and left on Dec 2, 2010. I was quite a mess for some time, no thanks to my doctor who didn't tell me it was a bad idea for me to take sleeping pills.
Anyways, I have not touched opium or alcohol since. As of early June I was able to find work thanks to some good friends from college, a great job in the same field, mechanical engineer in the oil & gas industry. My life was completely in the ******* but it has turned around so far by about 90%. I am still having some cognifitve and mood difficulties but I am working hard by exersizing 4 times a week and eating healthier then I ever have in my life.
This story is not totally complete and a little fragmented but I wanted to get it out there for now.
I had a lot of bad things go down in my life... spring, summer 2010... Friends, family. I was using opium 2 - 3 times a week to get through work. Then I added on amphetamines (dextroamphetamine) and soon after, alcohol.
For me, the gateway drug was opium and amphetamines. The drug that did me in was alcohol.
I started drinking more and more on nights of days that I would use opium / dex for work. Eventually it all caught up to me and I ended up leaving(quitting suddenly) work. This is not normal behaviour for an engineer. Getting drunk and saying some things to friends that I shouldn't have. I decided to leave work for the better of my health (to stop the drugs)
I could have taken advantage of insurance at my work to get into recovery, and my job would have been waiting for me. But I was too stubborn and proud to admit such things and felt I needed to just remove the "original" stressor, work, so I could remove the need to use.
Well, it worked out just the opposite. I got worse. I isolated, shut off my phone for weeks, months at a time. I used more often and drank even harder.
This went on for 6 more months.
The thing is, I would use heavily for two days, then take 2-3 days off everything. I thought If I was able to do this I wasn't really dependent. At first, after downing 18 or so drinks and some benedryl, I would literally sleep for 24 straight hours. The opium tended to stay in my system for a long time. I would take 3 days off and repeat all three drugs.
Eventually when I awoke I would have terrible control of my arms, like I had parkinson's or something. But I could get through it b/c of the opium. It really numbed the pain of hangover/withdrawl. Eventually the shaking turned into panic attacks. The panic attacks only got worse and eventually I ended up in the ER a couple of times. ER docs were of no help. Later on I would discover it was alcohol withdrawl. It gets worse every time.
Eventually I had to keep drinking all of the time to control a myriad of symptoms I won't go into now. I managed to find a detox hospital and luckily my debit card overdrafted to my credit card to pay their admit fee. I was in inpatient for 6 days, and left on Dec 2, 2010. I was quite a mess for some time, no thanks to my doctor who didn't tell me it was a bad idea for me to take sleeping pills.
Anyways, I have not touched opium or alcohol since. As of early June I was able to find work thanks to some good friends from college, a great job in the same field, mechanical engineer in the oil & gas industry. My life was completely in the ******* but it has turned around so far by about 90%. I am still having some cognifitve and mood difficulties but I am working hard by exersizing 4 times a week and eating healthier then I ever have in my life.
This story is not totally complete and a little fragmented but I wanted to get it out there for now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Biza 
Thank you for your story. It is inspiring to me as well. It is nice to see you were able to return to your life after things went bad. That must be so nice.
I didn't exactly return to the same life, but close. There were some friends I lost and don't speak to anymore, largely because of my behavior on these substances.
One thing that has really helped me I think is running. I run hard as I can every other day, so 3-4 times a week. It has been really hard this last month in Houston, though. Sheesh. I also stopped eating fast food and added fresh vegetables daily. I feel like one thing that led me to all this stuff was my lack of physical activity and poor diet while I was working after college.
I was also taking a strong multivitiman (ortho-core) and along with all the veggies I was eating my hands, joints all turned orange for 3 months!!! My doctor was actually worried it was s Jaundice w/ liver failure. But everything was normal, it was just all the beta carotene (orange color) my body wasn't used to. :p
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by dawnrunner
Your turnaround is very inspiring to me, since I am very newly sober. Well done!
over the first 6 months or so, there may be days where you feel worse then others, but that just because your brain has gone into overdrive repairing itself. Good luck.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome TwoHundred -
I know your story will help lots of people - thank for posting it!
It's ironic that being a strong and intelligent person can actually work against us when it comes to getting sober. I was determined myself not to admit defeat, thinking if I just tried harder, I could manage my addiction.
We all need support and this is a great place to get it .
I know your story will help lots of people - thank for posting it!
It's ironic that being a strong and intelligent person can actually work against us when it comes to getting sober. I was determined myself not to admit defeat, thinking if I just tried harder, I could manage my addiction.
We all need support and this is a great place to get it .
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
