rainbowwishes

Hello everyone. I'm not an everyday drinker but a heavy binge drinker trying to get out of this hole I'm in. I'm on day 3 - it's not too hard for me to get to day 3 but this is when it gets really difficult for me. I've been drinking heavily in the evenings 2 or 3 times a week for about 13 years now. I feel exhausted and don't like myself much at all. I am in such a rut and and desperate to get out of it. I'd love to be in touch with people who can relate to my situation. It's the first time i've tried a forum. I've also joined an alcohol counselling service today locally. A part of me wants to have a few more sessions before stopping which is madness as it will never get any easier I think. I somehow have to push through this withdrawal and get to days 4,5 and beyond.

eJoshua

Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of support here.

I was not a binge drinker as you describe, I was more of an every day drinker, but many people here drank like you and I'm sure they'll chime in here. I think you are wise to recognize that it won't get any easier to quit down the road. It only gets harder the longer to put it off.

Getting sober is the best decision you can make, so congratulations! Every day is a great day sober.

rainbowwishes

Thank you so much for your reply - it has really given me a boost. I am in a world of pain here but am determined to make it through today and not fall down that hole again. The last few times I was drinking I recognized how unhappy it was making me - I can't fool myself anymore that it's alright for me to carry on like I have been doing. I have made plans to help a friend do some gardening in a couple of hours and am already excited at how good i will feel tomorrow morning that I made a good decision and not the wrong one to go to the pub. I'm holding on to that really tightly and trying to shut out the demons inside still tempting me the other way. Thanks again for your encouragement.I really, really appreciate it.

YouAndTequila

Hi Rainbow, I am also a binge drinker once or twice a week. Usually day 3 or 4 without alcohol and I start wanting it. It's so hard to break that cycle! Right now for me I haven't drank since Saturday which is good and actually wasn't too difficult, but I'm just now starting to think about it. ;O( I'm hoping to stay strong over the holiday weekend!! Good luck to you, stick close to these boards, there are so many people just like us out there.

MycoolFitz

Welcome, glad you've joined us. It is madness to postpone sobriety but its sanity to recognize the fact. This is a great forum full of caring supportive largely sane people.

freshstart57

After being sober for only 9 days, I have come to learn that my anxiety and depression were not being helped by the numbing effect of Comrade Smirnoff. In fact, the vodka and my refusal to accept my shortcomings were the problem in the first place.

I have found a lot of joy and comfort here, as well as an unconditional welcome. I am sure you will find the same things for yourself. Just don't drink today, 'k? It will be easier tomorrow. After all, I am pretty dang sure that no one has ever regretted not drinking.

YouAndTequila

It is amazing how well the "one day at a time" can help. I normally rationalize my drinking on a certain day by telling myself that the next day my desire for it will be stronger so what's the difference if I drink tomorrow instead of today?? ;O( Especially if I have plans on a certain day, well I can't drink tomorrow, I'll have to drink today! UGH, what a cycle. Life would be so much easier just not drinking at all and not worrying about it. One day at a time helped me acheive 6 weeks once, so just don't drink today Rainbow, and think about tomorrow, tomorrow.

rainbowwishes

Thanks for your reply. well done for getting to today from Saturday Let's both be strong and feel good tomorrow morning Good luck to you too and thanks again for your reply - it really helps to know I'm not alone.

youngun

Welcome rainbowwishes :-)

It's a really tough situation and well done for taking the first steps. I know exactly what you mean, I'm a binge drinker and after 3/4 days I'm just looking forward to getting drunk again and craving a drink. I'm on my 9th day and it hasn't been easy, but has been worth it. Best of luck, pm me if you want to chat about anything :-)

rainbowwishes

@YouandTequila Wow - I can really relate to what you've said. I am the most 'controlled' out of control drinker I know! - oh the times I've drunk on certain nights rather than others so as to have the hangovers fall on 'convenient' days. The demon inside me is saying just that today - better today than tomorrow (as Saturday and I am busy and tomorrow I am not) I agree completely that life would be better to be free of this. No night is a good night to get wasted and no day a good day to be hungover, eh?

twilli59

Hi RBW - we all admire the courage it takes the begin the process of honesty. We've all been there and have a common bond that - along with other elements of recovery - truly is stronger than alcohol and drugs! I was a binge drinker, it progressed, there were drugs, etc...but never a daily maitenance type. It doesn't matter. When that voice from deep within tells us we're in trouble, it can signal the beginning of recovery. We're just not meant to live out of balance like that. I would hope that you explore your options, and above all - stay honest, open and willing. That will lead you to a power you have inside you that will be beyond what you've ever imagined!

artsoul

Welcome to the forum, rainbowwishes -

I'm glad you see that you don't have to live like this anymore. Getting support is critical and you'll find lots of that here. Things really do get better!

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

sugarbear1

try to search: aa
buckinghamshire, uk

meetings will be on one of those pages, you won't be alone!

Dee74

Welcome to SR RainbowWishes

D

Anna

Welcome RainbowWishes!

We do understand how difficult it is to take the first step in stopping drinking and recovering. I'm glad you decided to post, and please keep us up to date on how your detox is going.

bennybored

welcome rainbowwishes!
congrats on day 3 - i am at day 4. I am a binge drinker like you - once I have one I keep going and going - I can take a day break but after a few days I want a drink - today was hard but I managed to keep dry and I feel great now - gonna enjoy a nice quiet sober evening. I hope you are enjoying the same!!!!

rainbowwishes

New friends - I am ashamed to say that despite my efforts to make a change today - it started off well with a sober meeting with a friend to do some gardening . . then we went to the pub (where we normally meet) and . . I managed 3 soft drinks but cracked at 8p.m. £43 later, wetting myself on the way back home really drunk I feel ashamed and so frustrated with myself. I was so close to making day 4. Will have to start from day1 yet again. . .If I could go to sleep and not have to wake up again to face it i really would if it wasn't for other people.

ReadyAndAble

I know you've probably figured this out, but going to a pub in your first weeks of sobriety is a really bad idea. I waited a couple months before I set foot in a bar, and that to see a concert—and I went with a friend who knew I was in recovery, and supported my efforts.

CaiHong

Rainbowwishes,

You need support to be honest, AA worked for me, especially at the beginning. If you are going to do this thing and keep sober you have to do /try everything, find something that keeps you off the grog. In your post before you busted you did mention that you wanted another drink, that's honest. We know when we really haven't given up the idea of a drink, in the early days it is very hard to combat those urges. It does get easier.
I think you know that going to the pub was a really bad idea. How did the gardening project go? Forty three quid, what were you drinking?

You can do it and life is so much better believe me.

CaiHong (which means rainbow by the way)