Not sure how many times I have to hit rock bottom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 7
Not sure how many times I have to hit rock bottom
But I just can't seem to stop. I don't really have much to live for at this point. I'm not feeling suicidal at the moment or anything but I definitely have those lingering feelings still inside me.
I injured my back about a year ago. Went from having very good paying work and opportunities to being unable to walk, unable to work, living at a shelter in severe physical pain and mental anguish. I started to drink heavily as well as mix pain meds and alcohol. A few times I tried to commit suicide by combining all my pain medications. I'm still in pain to this day and surgery hasn't helped me one bit. I went from lifting weights and body building, jogging several miles, to being unable to even walk (I couldn't move from bed for 3 months) with a paralyzed leg. I can't seem to get back on my feet again. I feel so hopeless and I seem to throw away anything good in my life because of alcohol. For example, I've been communicating with this girl off and on for the last year. She's been very supportive of me but I get drunk and lash out at her. I actually went to jail for 2 months because of something having to do with alcohol (no felonies thankfully, but still. you think I would learn my lesson) went to rehab for 2 months and I'm still drinking.
Last night I decided to drink. Everything was good between me and this girl but for some reason something she said angered me (I don't even know what it was. Something petty) and I lashed out at her calling her every mean thing I could. You see she had webcam sex when I was in jail with multiple strangers. I couldn't believe what she did because we were talking about marriage and she is far from the type of person to do something like that, so I thought. But I lashed out at her last night after drinking an entire bottle of gin. Calling her a webcam **** etc. Just awful things without much reason.
I'm not sure what it will take to get me back on the right path again. It seems like I have no more hope in life. I recently turned 30, I'm unemployed now, in constant pain, nothing to look forward to in the future. I never would have thought I would become the person I've become (I hardly ever drank before. Like I said I was a health freak and would bodybuild, eat perfectly healthy, never touch anything unhealthy) and now I'm just a horrible loser. I've tried everything and it doesn't seem to work for me. I have no family that loves me. No support in my life. I just don't know why I should even not just drink myself to death at this point. I want a better life but I've struggled so much and I just don't see it happening.
I injured my back about a year ago. Went from having very good paying work and opportunities to being unable to walk, unable to work, living at a shelter in severe physical pain and mental anguish. I started to drink heavily as well as mix pain meds and alcohol. A few times I tried to commit suicide by combining all my pain medications. I'm still in pain to this day and surgery hasn't helped me one bit. I went from lifting weights and body building, jogging several miles, to being unable to even walk (I couldn't move from bed for 3 months) with a paralyzed leg. I can't seem to get back on my feet again. I feel so hopeless and I seem to throw away anything good in my life because of alcohol. For example, I've been communicating with this girl off and on for the last year. She's been very supportive of me but I get drunk and lash out at her. I actually went to jail for 2 months because of something having to do with alcohol (no felonies thankfully, but still. you think I would learn my lesson) went to rehab for 2 months and I'm still drinking.
Last night I decided to drink. Everything was good between me and this girl but for some reason something she said angered me (I don't even know what it was. Something petty) and I lashed out at her calling her every mean thing I could. You see she had webcam sex when I was in jail with multiple strangers. I couldn't believe what she did because we were talking about marriage and she is far from the type of person to do something like that, so I thought. But I lashed out at her last night after drinking an entire bottle of gin. Calling her a webcam **** etc. Just awful things without much reason.
I'm not sure what it will take to get me back on the right path again. It seems like I have no more hope in life. I recently turned 30, I'm unemployed now, in constant pain, nothing to look forward to in the future. I never would have thought I would become the person I've become (I hardly ever drank before. Like I said I was a health freak and would bodybuild, eat perfectly healthy, never touch anything unhealthy) and now I'm just a horrible loser. I've tried everything and it doesn't seem to work for me. I have no family that loves me. No support in my life. I just don't know why I should even not just drink myself to death at this point. I want a better life but I've struggled so much and I just don't see it happening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 518
Hello WhyCantIStop,
I see this is your first post, so let me start off by saying welcome to SR.
You are going to see that the support will come flooding in.
I understand the situation you are in...not too long ago I fractured my tailbone (nothing as serious as what you are going through) but when I stayed home from work I would just drinking incessantly. I would also hide it from my boyfriend and constantly get into arguements with him about my drinking.
I would never make dinner and the place was a mess, I would become a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde type character when I drank.
I know that you are feeling a bit hopeless right now but I am sure that it's the alcohol that is talking...it really can mess up the way you feel and make you depressed - at least that is what it did to me.
You also need to re-evaluate your relationship with this girl - especially since she (in my books anyway) technically cheated on you.
With all the negativity in your life at the moment - and your planned path to sobriety - you need more positive people in your life that are going to support you. Not go behind your back and do something like she did.
Were you guys on a break when you went to jail?
Have you tried reading books on alcholism? Tried different methods of treatment or have seeked a professional? That is definitely another step that you can take to getting better. Posting on here is already a step that you have taken.
Just by your post, you have shown us that you no longer want a life like this...and trust me, you don't want to drink yourself to death.
It will be a long, painful and lonely journey if you do.
Big hugs - hang in there. Post as much as you want and feel better soon.
I see this is your first post, so let me start off by saying welcome to SR.
You are going to see that the support will come flooding in. I understand the situation you are in...not too long ago I fractured my tailbone (nothing as serious as what you are going through) but when I stayed home from work I would just drinking incessantly. I would also hide it from my boyfriend and constantly get into arguements with him about my drinking.
I would never make dinner and the place was a mess, I would become a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde type character when I drank.
I know that you are feeling a bit hopeless right now but I am sure that it's the alcohol that is talking...it really can mess up the way you feel and make you depressed - at least that is what it did to me.
You also need to re-evaluate your relationship with this girl - especially since she (in my books anyway) technically cheated on you.
With all the negativity in your life at the moment - and your planned path to sobriety - you need more positive people in your life that are going to support you. Not go behind your back and do something like she did.
Were you guys on a break when you went to jail?
Have you tried reading books on alcholism? Tried different methods of treatment or have seeked a professional? That is definitely another step that you can take to getting better. Posting on here is already a step that you have taken.
Just by your post, you have shown us that you no longer want a life like this...and trust me, you don't want to drink yourself to death.
It will be a long, painful and lonely journey if you do.
Big hugs - hang in there. Post as much as you want and feel better soon.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NS, Canada
Posts: 160
Hi whyicantstop ... Nice to meet you. Welcome to the boards.
You said, "I've tried everything and it doesn't seem to work for me." .... Have you tried counselling / therapy? ... Sounds like your mind is all over the place right now,and maybe talking to a counsellor would be a good place to start. (Or a new one, if you already have one.)
I'm very sorry for your pain, both the physical and emotional. There is always something new to try though ... new doctor, new therapist, new medication, new way to look at medicine (holistic, for example), new surgery, new lifestyle, take a course, find a job or hobby that would be comfortable as well as enjoyable ... just to name a few. There are hundreds of ideas floating around out there that you just can't see right now.
I couldn't see beyond what I thought was going to be my ugly life from here until the end ... but, surprise to me, the mysterious "door" everyone always talks about actually showed up, and opened ... It was always there. You know the door I'm talking about - the one that opens to opportunity and different things you never knew were available to your life. The one we usually can't see until *poof* there it is.
Ask for help ... doctor, psychologist, AA or other group, church, etc.... And if you aren't comfortable with who you've talked with, try someone else. Sometimes it takes several tries to click with the right person/help.
Keep trying. Your door will open. In the meantime, just hang on, and don't give up when one attempt fails. The failures are part of the process of growing andfiguring out what does work.
You said, "I've tried everything and it doesn't seem to work for me." .... Have you tried counselling / therapy? ... Sounds like your mind is all over the place right now,and maybe talking to a counsellor would be a good place to start. (Or a new one, if you already have one.)
I'm very sorry for your pain, both the physical and emotional. There is always something new to try though ... new doctor, new therapist, new medication, new way to look at medicine (holistic, for example), new surgery, new lifestyle, take a course, find a job or hobby that would be comfortable as well as enjoyable ... just to name a few. There are hundreds of ideas floating around out there that you just can't see right now.
I couldn't see beyond what I thought was going to be my ugly life from here until the end ... but, surprise to me, the mysterious "door" everyone always talks about actually showed up, and opened ... It was always there. You know the door I'm talking about - the one that opens to opportunity and different things you never knew were available to your life. The one we usually can't see until *poof* there it is.
Ask for help ... doctor, psychologist, AA or other group, church, etc.... And if you aren't comfortable with who you've talked with, try someone else. Sometimes it takes several tries to click with the right person/help.
Keep trying. Your door will open. In the meantime, just hang on, and don't give up when one attempt fails. The failures are part of the process of growing andfiguring out what does work.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi and Welcome,
I'm glad you found us!
I'm sorry about your physical condition and I can imagine that it must be very difficult to deal with. Have you considered counselling to help you to manage the anger that you feel and the sadness in your life? Or have you talked to your dr about your depression?
Clearly this isn't the life you planned for yourself. And, for sure, this isn't how I expected my life to go either. But here we are, and all we can do is to do the best we can. I hope that you can find some peace in your life.
I'm glad you found us!
I'm sorry about your physical condition and I can imagine that it must be very difficult to deal with. Have you considered counselling to help you to manage the anger that you feel and the sadness in your life? Or have you talked to your dr about your depression?
Clearly this isn't the life you planned for yourself. And, for sure, this isn't how I expected my life to go either. But here we are, and all we can do is to do the best we can. I hope that you can find some peace in your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 7
Thank you for the quick responses. Today is a hard day for me. Every day is pretty hard but today especially so.
Bayliss. You are correct about the relationship with this girl. Deep down it just wasn't right. I don't think I could ever really forgive her for what she did. We had an argument and it caused me to drink, then I did something stupid (nothing towards her or to anyone in general. I smashed a window and was wondering around drunk at 3am and was foolishly caught) when I was drunk and it caused the jail time. Jail time I used to take recovery courses. But the AA thing obviously doesn't work very well for me. I don't connect with the counselors very well and to me AA comes across as a popularity contest. I poured my heart and soul out looking for advice etc and nobody cared or the counselors were just idiots and marginalized my problems or insulted me. No real benefit to anything.
But we hadn't broken up or anything. In fact I had my mom call her and tell her that I'm sorry for what happened and that I still wanted to be with her. Came back to find her writing "I want to suck ****" and posting provocative pictures on her facebook. Then 2 months later after we had gotten stable again I came to find out she had webcam sex with multiple strangers. I would have never expected anything like this from her.
Obviously it wasn't meant to be, but despite all of this she's been my best friend and support over the last years. There were many times that she talked me out of suicide. I do want to get better but I feel so completely lost most of the time. I can't afford counseling or real treatment. My life is in complete shambles at the moment and I'm not sure how to get back to things. You see I was very successful before my back injury and had so many opportunities but I lost all of that and was literally forced into homelessness because of this back injury. When you hit that low and see life from that perspective it's hard to find any meaning in anything anymore. When life is that crappy and worthless. I want to stop it with the drinking because I think of my life as so meaningless now that I don't care about the consequences anymore. I guess that's a bit scary to me and I do freak out afterwards but I wonder what use anything it. I don't have any support or anything to look forward too. I just feel like a horrible person.
Bayliss. You are correct about the relationship with this girl. Deep down it just wasn't right. I don't think I could ever really forgive her for what she did. We had an argument and it caused me to drink, then I did something stupid (nothing towards her or to anyone in general. I smashed a window and was wondering around drunk at 3am and was foolishly caught) when I was drunk and it caused the jail time. Jail time I used to take recovery courses. But the AA thing obviously doesn't work very well for me. I don't connect with the counselors very well and to me AA comes across as a popularity contest. I poured my heart and soul out looking for advice etc and nobody cared or the counselors were just idiots and marginalized my problems or insulted me. No real benefit to anything.
But we hadn't broken up or anything. In fact I had my mom call her and tell her that I'm sorry for what happened and that I still wanted to be with her. Came back to find her writing "I want to suck ****" and posting provocative pictures on her facebook. Then 2 months later after we had gotten stable again I came to find out she had webcam sex with multiple strangers. I would have never expected anything like this from her.
Obviously it wasn't meant to be, but despite all of this she's been my best friend and support over the last years. There were many times that she talked me out of suicide. I do want to get better but I feel so completely lost most of the time. I can't afford counseling or real treatment. My life is in complete shambles at the moment and I'm not sure how to get back to things. You see I was very successful before my back injury and had so many opportunities but I lost all of that and was literally forced into homelessness because of this back injury. When you hit that low and see life from that perspective it's hard to find any meaning in anything anymore. When life is that crappy and worthless. I want to stop it with the drinking because I think of my life as so meaningless now that I don't care about the consequences anymore. I guess that's a bit scary to me and I do freak out afterwards but I wonder what use anything it. I don't have any support or anything to look forward too. I just feel like a horrible person.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
whycantistop - It's great you reached out and found SR. We're so glad you're here. You aren't alone with your problems any more.
I understand how badly you wanted relief from your problems, but alcohol abuse will suck the life out of you. In my attempts to feel better & more cheerful, I turned myself into a person I didn't even recognize. I think you need to be clear headed & not in a fog in order to face your problems and take action where you can.
You are not a loser - you're just holding yourself down by getting numb. You're way smarter than I was - you're reaching out for help at only 30. Please don't give up on yourself! It's obvious you still have alot to give. Keep talking to us.
I understand how badly you wanted relief from your problems, but alcohol abuse will suck the life out of you. In my attempts to feel better & more cheerful, I turned myself into a person I didn't even recognize. I think you need to be clear headed & not in a fog in order to face your problems and take action where you can.
You are not a loser - you're just holding yourself down by getting numb. You're way smarter than I was - you're reaching out for help at only 30. Please don't give up on yourself! It's obvious you still have alot to give. Keep talking to us.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
bro...welcome to SR. I see your online. Pain like you are going through is going to hurt more than your body, but also your mind.
And what's going on with you right now is not going to get better by drinking a bottle of gin.
You reached out here and I think that's the first step towards admitting you, like me, are powerless over alcohol. Do you have any medical treatment options? Are you eligible for disability payments?
You said you are at a shelter. Do they have any alcohol counseling?
I'm sorry AA didn't work for you, but I wonder if your only experience was while you were in jail?
I've found that AA meetings can differ greatly. Could you find a new meeting?
If you have truly reached your bottom, are you willing to do anything to not only find sobriety, but a new way of life?
And I do wonder if an Internet relationship is a real relationship?
Also, there is a thread on the main page for pain management. Have you tried that for experience of others?
Please keep posting and reading here. It kept me sober for many months. Still does.
And what's going on with you right now is not going to get better by drinking a bottle of gin.
You reached out here and I think that's the first step towards admitting you, like me, are powerless over alcohol. Do you have any medical treatment options? Are you eligible for disability payments?
You said you are at a shelter. Do they have any alcohol counseling?
I'm sorry AA didn't work for you, but I wonder if your only experience was while you were in jail?
I've found that AA meetings can differ greatly. Could you find a new meeting?
If you have truly reached your bottom, are you willing to do anything to not only find sobriety, but a new way of life?
And I do wonder if an Internet relationship is a real relationship?
Also, there is a thread on the main page for pain management. Have you tried that for experience of others?
Please keep posting and reading here. It kept me sober for many months. Still does.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome whycantistop
You're not a loser.
By the end of my drinking my head was pretty messed up - I couldn't think straight and had very low self esteem - & I didn't even realise it.
Thats the number alcohol did on me.
After some sober time, I got a little self confidence back and was able to look at all aspects of my life with fresh eyes and a rejuvenated spirit.
This place was great in giving me support encouragement and ideas when I needed that along the way...
Stick with it- you're not alone
D
You're not a loser.
By the end of my drinking my head was pretty messed up - I couldn't think straight and had very low self esteem - & I didn't even realise it.
Thats the number alcohol did on me.
After some sober time, I got a little self confidence back and was able to look at all aspects of my life with fresh eyes and a rejuvenated spirit.
This place was great in giving me support encouragement and ideas when I needed that along the way...
Stick with it- you're not alone
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 7
I'm feeling so sad and empty today. Feel like the worst piece of garbage imaginable. Feel like I'm not even worth it to myself and that no matter what I do things won't get better for me. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. No friends anymore after this horrible year. They've all abandoned me. I really feel like I want to give up on myself. Not with drinking but just to stop this pain and loneliness. I fell asleep and woke up after three hours and instead of feeling fresh and invigorated after a day of abstinence I just feel completely dead and hollow inside. I'm really in a bad spot now and I can't seem to find any escape. I have no more hopes anymore and all I can see in my future is just bleak empty sadness.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
You'll always have people who understand here
I know the blackness that comes from after a binge - it always helped me to realise that most of that was chemical...it's a by-product of withdrawal....
You're not a loser, garbage or any of that other stuff. You just like me and the hundreds and thousands of others here
Stick with it - find support here and maybe look for some in real life too?
Trust me - the more you stay sober the more realistically you will see yourself and the more you'll want to start making things better...things won't look so black
D
I know the blackness that comes from after a binge - it always helped me to realise that most of that was chemical...it's a by-product of withdrawal....
You're not a loser, garbage or any of that other stuff. You just like me and the hundreds and thousands of others here
Stick with it - find support here and maybe look for some in real life too?
Trust me - the more you stay sober the more realistically you will see yourself and the more you'll want to start making things better...things won't look so black
D
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Hi whycantistop -
I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through - both physical and emotional.
Like Dee says, you are definitely not a loser. You are just a person with a drinking problem. You are not defined by alcohol, though. By seeking recovery you could begin healing the hurt that your drinking has caused you.
I know it feels like you are the one person who can't stop drinking. I know how it feels, I've been there multiple times. I know that you are probably wondering why you should even bother? What's the point of even quitting, right? I've totally been there, man. Just at the end of the rope, so to speak.
Anyone can recover from this. You are super special, but you are not the one person in the world that can't do it. It is really really tough, but you can do it and it's worth it. You will never regret getting sober if you decide to do it.
Best wishes to you, I hope you seek out the recovery that you deserve.
I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through - both physical and emotional.
Like Dee says, you are definitely not a loser. You are just a person with a drinking problem. You are not defined by alcohol, though. By seeking recovery you could begin healing the hurt that your drinking has caused you.
I know it feels like you are the one person who can't stop drinking. I know how it feels, I've been there multiple times. I know that you are probably wondering why you should even bother? What's the point of even quitting, right? I've totally been there, man. Just at the end of the rope, so to speak.
Anyone can recover from this. You are super special, but you are not the one person in the world that can't do it.
It is really really tough, but you can do it and it's worth it. You will never regret getting sober if you decide to do it.Best wishes to you, I hope you seek out the recovery that you deserve.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I thought posting here would help, but nothing works
I told myself I didn't care if I lived or died, and noone else did either.
That's your addiction talking - it wants you to lie down and give up.
Fight it.
Posting here is great but it's not always enough - you're obviously being called to do something more.
See your Dr, speak to a counsellor, check out a recovery group
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
...maybe it's time to consider rehab?
Do whatever is available to you to do - this is your life your fighting for Brian.
D
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Welcome to SR!
Not sure what AA you "tried," but AA has no counseling or counselors, only a fellowship of others working a suggested program where we work on ourselves with guidance from someone working on themselves....
Not sure what AA you "tried," but AA has no counseling or counselors, only a fellowship of others working a suggested program where we work on ourselves with guidance from someone working on themselves....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome to SR. Hopefully you stick around because this is awesome support. We've all been in our own down world and pulling out of the hole is hard. But not unachievable.
My life wasn't like yours but the feelings were the same. Why bother stopping now...everyone knows I'm a drunk -why change?!
Well, long story short I signed myself up for counseling and rehab. It was the best thing I ever did for myself in my entire life. I wasn't court appointed or 'told' I had to go. I did it for me...for my life, for my survival. I did it because I needed to live my life again.
And here I am 7 months later...sober, new job (recent promotion), new lease on life.
You can do it...there are people that want to help if you reach out to them. I was amazed at the support I received once I released my fear.
Wishing you the peace and strength in sobriety.
My life wasn't like yours but the feelings were the same. Why bother stopping now...everyone knows I'm a drunk -why change?!
Well, long story short I signed myself up for counseling and rehab. It was the best thing I ever did for myself in my entire life. I wasn't court appointed or 'told' I had to go. I did it for me...for my life, for my survival. I did it because I needed to live my life again.
And here I am 7 months later...sober, new job (recent promotion), new lease on life.
You can do it...there are people that want to help if you reach out to them. I was amazed at the support I received once I released my fear.
Wishing you the peace and strength in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,068
Originally Posted by whycantistop 
I'm feeling so sad and empty today. Feel like the worst piece of garbage imaginable. Feel like I'm not even worth it to myself and that no matter what I do things won't get better for me. I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. No friends anymore after this horrible year. They've all abandoned me. I really feel like I want to give up on myself. Not with drinking but just to stop this pain and loneliness. I fell asleep and woke up after three hours and instead of feeling fresh and invigorated after a day of abstinence I just feel completely dead and hollow inside. I'm really in a bad spot now and I can't seem to find any escape. I have no more hopes anymore and all I can see in my future is just bleak empty sadness.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
whycantistop, sorry about your back injury. I can understand about wanted to get your life back on track. I was into bodybuilding and had a really good job but I drank because of a girl and it gets hard to get your life back on track when you have drink to mask the pain. I'm on day 6 now and haven't drank since. Before this it was 3 months and this time around it will be never. I'm looking for a new job and if I keep the alcohol away from me then things will get better. The 3 month when I was sober was better then the 3 days I was got drunk.
Don't worry about girls right now. Getting your head straight out and recovering yourself is more important for your life. Having a girlfriend will not fix your problem. Once you do that then you can think about girls/girlfriends. Good girl does not want to be with a person that feels entry and drinks all the time. Your only going to get trouble girls with issues. I've been with those type of trouble girls.
With finding a new job, you need to have a clear state of mind because employers don't want something that can't do a job that is always drinking. It takes time to find a job in this world now but staying strong will only help.
About the pain in the back, can you go into detail about what happen? Also putting alcohol into your system will make it worst. Its a reason why when people drink everyday they are only at 50% of what they're body and mind can do. It's always like making yourself sick but in a way worst way because your doing the sickness to yourself.
I hope you find the right help but you have to stop with the alcohol and start thinking what you need to get better.
Take it one day at a time.
Don't worry about girls right now. Getting your head straight out and recovering yourself is more important for your life. Having a girlfriend will not fix your problem. Once you do that then you can think about girls/girlfriends. Good girl does not want to be with a person that feels entry and drinks all the time. Your only going to get trouble girls with issues. I've been with those type of trouble girls.
With finding a new job, you need to have a clear state of mind because employers don't want something that can't do a job that is always drinking. It takes time to find a job in this world now but staying strong will only help.
About the pain in the back, can you go into detail about what happen? Also putting alcohol into your system will make it worst. Its a reason why when people drink everyday they are only at 50% of what they're body and mind can do. It's always like making yourself sick but in a way worst way because your doing the sickness to yourself.
I hope you find the right help but you have to stop with the alcohol and start thinking what you need to get better.
Take it one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 70
I wish you would find a long term rehab facility...have you considered that? I know for a fact that your life would change completely if you got sober. Please get help...are there any state run facilities?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 453
Please call The 24 hour AA central office, there is someone there who knows and has gone through exactly what you are talking about. AA saved my life from Alchohol and drugs and i know if your willing it can help you as well.
Los Angeles Central Office of Alcoholics Anonymous - Hotline 24 Hours 7 Days A Week (800) 923-8722.
Printed with permission of AA world services
Los Angeles Central Office of Alcoholics Anonymous - Hotline 24 Hours 7 Days A Week (800) 923-8722.
Printed with permission of AA world services
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