foodie1

It's day 13 for me and I feel really good other than some headaches and mood swings. I haven't had the urge to drink at all but I have had the weirdest sensation a few days when I realized I wouldn't be drinking anything that night. It was like I wouldn't be seeing somebody I REALLY wanted to see. I was downright mournful, which I think is really strange...and confirmation that I needed to get sober. It's like the drink had taken on a personality of its own and become my "friend." (with friends like that...)

Well, thanks for reading, I can't say enough how much this forum helps me. You are all so supportive and non-judgemetal. Off-topic, I went to my first AA meeting on Sunday and it was really helpful, and I'll definitely keep going, but I feel a lot more positive energy here.

Elisabeth888

Congrats on 13 days!! If you like AA, keep going to meetings definitely. I use AA for my recovery and find it and the fellowship invaluable.

Hey, I noticed you are from Oregon. I just finished A Sober Truth by Jill Kelly and she is a native Oregonian also. I very much enjoyed her memoir on her recovery.

FoundmySelf

Congratulations on 13 days, that is HUGE!!

I can relate to what you are saying.
I have no advice as I am only on day 8
but I wanted to let you know that I understand.

keep up the good work!!

Opivotal

Congratulations on 13 days!! Keep up the good work.




Best Wishes To You!

Anna

Have you read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp?

SOBARweasel

Your thread title reminded me of one of my favorite quotes. I'm not sure who said it but a friend gave it to me and I use it all the time... I 'knew' how you feel, don't worry it will pass.

"I'm not mourning the loss of a friend.
I'm celebrating the death of a tyrant." ~Poxy

MarylandRick

When I recently went through Rehab and was nearing the end of my program I had to write a "good bye alcohol" letter. It was very much like writing a letter to an ex. It began with how we met, good times we had, friends we met together, etc and gradually moved to the heartache and pain it caused me. I really got into it and enjoyed writing it. It was 5 pages. I am sure others who've gone through rehab have done something similar.

I enjoyed writing it and one day if I have time I'll write it in a thread.

KellyToronto

Has anyone heard of this book? They referred to it when I was in rehab in April/May.

Sounds profound.

Kelly

Anna

I think you might mean "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp.

Dee74

I loved alcohol too - but it was a very bad abusive relationship...on both sides.

As bad as it was, I missed it tho for a while - it had been my life for 20 years, and it was familiar to me, it was at least some kind of relationship....and like all bad relationships I tended to remember the good times.

Looking back, though, moving on was the best thing I ever did

Keep moving forward foodie

D

Hevyn

foodie - I love your post. I felt exactly that way. I grieved the loss of alcohol (my friend & loyal companion) just as I would have a person. Maybe what I was really grieving was the loss of a whole way of life - one that had been fun & happy at one time. In the end, my 'friend' turned on me and made my life a living hell. That's the part we have to always remember.

Isn't it great to be able to talk about these things? Who else would understand? I think you're doing great - so glad you are here with us.

foodie1

I really, REALLY, appreciate all the posts. So glad there are people who understand exactly what I'm going through. I love the idea of a goodbye letter, I enjoy writing and I think that would be so therapeutic. SOBARweasel, heck yeah! That quote is going on my fridge so I can see it everyday, thank you!!

MarylandRick

You should absolutely write one. I will hang on to mine forever. I haven't read it since being out of rehab but I plan to anytime I feel the craving to drink. It will be a life long reminder of the pain and suffering my long time love affair with alcoh caused me.

Congrats on 13 days! Awesome job.

least

I felt like that too when I quit drinking. But the longer I went from my last drink, the more I saw that alcohol was no friend to me and indeed was bent on my destruction. That helped ease the mourning for our lost 'friendship'.

least

That's exactly right.

Ollie909

Hello
I read your post earlier just before heading off to work. No time to respond right then, but that really got me thinking. That coming home after a rough day, just like an old friend. Never thought of it that way. Calmed you down, felt relaxed. Old buddy, what would I do without you. Then it all just has to go to hell. Darn it. It was close comfort for awhile. But, moving on is the only way I can do it my old friend, without you. I must leave you behind. I want to continue to live and your killing me buddy. Gotta go now Bye

Terminally Unique

ViciousCycle: Dear Alcohol

sugarbear1

It was my best friend. Goodbye, Al K. Hall!

ReadyAndAble

Friend?

He took my money, sabotaged my relationships, told me where I could go, when I could go, and even confined me to my own home. Sometimes he wouldn't let me pick up the phone when my daughter called from her mom's house to say hi.

He fooled me too, but that was no friend.

Congrats on 13 days, foodie. I'm glad you joined us at SR.

foodie1

Ollie909 and ReadyAndAble, yeah I know what you mean, I'm still just coming out of the denial and learning about my addiction. So this "friend" is still wearing its mask. I started drinking when I was 14 and had been suicidal for 2 years. I was always a very private person, so I did my drinking mostly alone too. That could have furthered it's "friend" appeal to me. I've since dealt with the demons of my childhood and am in the process of clearing out some leftover "family crap" so I don't need this so-called friend anymore.