Healthyfood

It is my day1 today and I just remembered that a big party is coming in September! Pre-drinks prior the party and then after party more drinks.

Oh no...Im so sad how on earth I will manage to go through this!!!!!

Please can anyone help me!!!!! Everyone will be drinking there and a lot. I know those people and they drink like crazy. Not all of them but the majority.

GettingStronger2

Honestly, that early in sobriety, your best option is to not go. Before you say that is not an option, you have to decide which is more important to you, your sobriety or the party.

If you insist on going, best thing is to keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand. If you are afraid of people thinking you are not drinking, get something that looks like a drink -- club soda with lime, for example.

Reset

Yeah I would skip it. I had to skip a wedding shortly after I quit, but the groom understood when I explained it. There will be lots of parties down the road.

ButterflyMan

If you drive, could you take the car and show face for one hour then leav.e before the heavy drinking starts? Arrange to do something with a friend or family member at a certain time so you have to leave

ShawneeBoy

Day 1 thats tough. But you might as well start testing how bad you want to quit because other situations will come up in the future. Carry good convo with people and dont go out of your way to say your not drinking. By the end of the night you will be asking yourself "was I that stupid when I drank?"

Healthyfood

GettingStronger2, Reset and anvilhead

I have to go, because its an opportunity for me to meet new people. And being single this is what Im looking for!
The good thing is that drinks will not be free, just first few and then it buy it yourself.

On the party day (if I get that far) it will be Day 18, do you think I might still not be strong?

GettingStronger2

You have to go because you are single and it is a chance to meet people. Who drink.

I wish you luck!

GettingStronger2

On day 18, i was nowhere strong enough. Sometime around day 60, i went to a baseball game. i thought i was strong enough. I didn't drink, but i didn't have a good time, either. How long were you sober the last try before this one? What was it that made you give in to drinking again?

Healthyfood

ButterflyMan, ShawneeBoy

I will go and if I feel I can't say no, I will go home. It will be stressful. I will get soda with lime and pretend I drink. How perfect I will look the only one sober who can handle a proper conversation.

Healthyfood

GettingStronger2

Some of them drink just a little bit, couple glasses. There might be some who will not drink. Hopefully. Last time I got to day 5. Then just could not handle urge. Then I managed to get to day 6 and again same story.

sugarbear1

Don't go.

P just called me AFTER drinking. She didn't like hearing what I said so she hung up on me. I don't take drunken bantor personally...I probably shouldn't have talked as long as we did, oh, she called back. Wow!

Maybe you two should talk (joke).

No reasoning with alcohol.

Please focus on staying stopped. That's hard enough. Alcoholism is no joke.

I sent her call to voicemail.

I also don't need to "reason" with drunken denial.

Please stay stopped. You made it this far!

Anna

You don't have to go.

You can meet new people in other ways.

I definitely could not have done that, and I really doubt that meeting new people who drink will be good for you.

Reset

Sorry but I am having a hard time imagining a scenario where you MUST go. Maybe if it were a work thing but social gatherings aren't necessary.

But you'll have to decide whether it's worth risking a relapse, or how bad of a risk it really is. That's your call, though I would ask you to really think about whether you HAVE to go.

Good luck.

Healthyfood

sugarbear1, Anna

Its not just my friends party its business related. I have to be there and I want to be there, but just trying to find some good tips how to get through it sober. I will defo pretend that I drink, don't want to attract other people attention, or may be I should not and be honest.

Anna

I can't imagine going to a party with a couple of weeks of sobriety and pretending to drink and getting through it.

Nor can I imagine having an honest discussion with people I work with about my being an alcoholic. I would never tell anyone that I work with that I am an alcoholic.

SSIL75

Just say "No thanks" and enjoy the party. It's only a big deal b/c you're an alcoholic. In time you won't care, really.

sugarbear1

Choices:


Lie about being ill (I've done that to stay home to drink), but I won't lie today, it's not sober behavior today.

Tell them you're newly sober and it would be detrimental to your progress.

Go, and be miserable and risk your days, if you get that far.

At 105 days, I wouldn't go tonight or this weekend, my choice.

Best to you!

sugarbear1

Or just don't go.

Healthyfood

Yeah...its not just a social gathering, its business related. I would not tell them that I do not drink, because I have a problem with my drinking. I will just say no thanks, because I choose not to drink that day.
I think I will be ok, if not I will leave. The urge comes quickly, but 10 min later its gone.

Fandy

why don't you just start by being sober one day at atime? 18 days is over 2 weeks away, you may change your mind 100X during this period.

working yourself into a froth for no reason won't help you. Worry about what you will drink after you actually stop for a couple of weeks, it changes your perspective.

People truly do not care who drinks what....it's all in your head. I obsessed and obsessed about the first holiday dinner (from February until April Easter)...I was the one who made it a "big deal"...no one else questioned my choice of soft drinks or tea. and it was much easier than I thought it would be.