Hunger
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: pacific standard time
Posts: 289
Hunger
Hi my name is Ocean and I'm an Alcoholic.
I am about to fix my second meal of the day - it's the same as the first meal but it's important because it's the second.
I am a newcomer....day 12.
had kind of a tough day getting out of my head, but did it with success through exercise, and made it to a 6pm meeting. The topic related to the exact conversation my Sponsor and I had this morning, about spiritual challenges.
I really needed to get out of my head. I still do. getting out of my head has been a spiritual challenge throughout the day.
I'm having trouble acknowledging hunger. Over the last 12 days i've had a really hard time eating. I've lost weight, my "skinny jeans" are too big. I'm not trying to lose weight, but when i go to eat, i haven't felt worthy. I don't even have to guess, "i don't deserve it" is the thought scrolling through my mind. But it started to get better once the weekend started. thanks to a Friday night meeting i ate a big big burger at a post-meeting dinner. it was all i ate all day, it was hard to eat it, but hangin with other alcoholics helped a ton. I ate the you know what out of that burger. But still, i knew i should eat more than once a day, and i wasn't.
But today....well....
I'm about to make big bowl of soup #2! And I'm excited to eat a second time! I barely want to, but i'm doing it - it's ok to eat even though i did such abominable things under the influence of alcohol. It's ok.
While I realize this may seem ridiculous to celebrate, it's somewhat of a breakthrough for me. For the last 12 days (as suggested by a member of AA) i have been looking at myself in the mirror morning and night saying "i love you and i forgive you"
"and" she said, "focus on the word surrender, think about what it really means"
12 days sober, and i have somehow found my way back to feeding myself twice in one day.
I am grateful this evening to be alive, eating, sober, and aware that my current spiritual challenge is getting out of my noisy head. And as soon as i did that this evening, i started to cook some food and do my best to live in the solution.
after i eat? reading the big book and coming back to SR!
I am about to fix my second meal of the day - it's the same as the first meal but it's important because it's the second.
I am a newcomer....day 12.
had kind of a tough day getting out of my head, but did it with success through exercise, and made it to a 6pm meeting. The topic related to the exact conversation my Sponsor and I had this morning, about spiritual challenges.
I really needed to get out of my head. I still do. getting out of my head has been a spiritual challenge throughout the day.
I'm having trouble acknowledging hunger. Over the last 12 days i've had a really hard time eating. I've lost weight, my "skinny jeans" are too big. I'm not trying to lose weight, but when i go to eat, i haven't felt worthy. I don't even have to guess, "i don't deserve it" is the thought scrolling through my mind. But it started to get better once the weekend started. thanks to a Friday night meeting i ate a big big burger at a post-meeting dinner. it was all i ate all day, it was hard to eat it, but hangin with other alcoholics helped a ton. I ate the you know what out of that burger. But still, i knew i should eat more than once a day, and i wasn't.
But today....well....
I'm about to make big bowl of soup #2! And I'm excited to eat a second time! I barely want to, but i'm doing it - it's ok to eat even though i did such abominable things under the influence of alcohol. It's ok.
While I realize this may seem ridiculous to celebrate, it's somewhat of a breakthrough for me. For the last 12 days (as suggested by a member of AA) i have been looking at myself in the mirror morning and night saying "i love you and i forgive you"
"and" she said, "focus on the word surrender, think about what it really means"
12 days sober, and i have somehow found my way back to feeding myself twice in one day.
I am grateful this evening to be alive, eating, sober, and aware that my current spiritual challenge is getting out of my noisy head. And as soon as i did that this evening, i started to cook some food and do my best to live in the solution.
after i eat? reading the big book and coming back to SR!
You're doing well at 12 days! Some link that was posted here says while recovering, eat small meals frequently. If you aren't drinking or using, your body will be crying out for missed nutrition. If not now, then soon! Keep up the great work! Maybe I'll try that mirror thing!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)