Really Want to Quit H - Scared of the Withdrawl
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 9
Really Want to Quit H - Scared of the Withdrawl
Hi guys,
I know this sounds like a total "wimp move" but I am actually scared of quitting the stuff. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for years... as far back as I can remember actually. My first "use" was when my dad gave me a piece of Valium when I was 11 years old because I was so scared of scholl back then.
Then, I found alcohol. That worked for awhile, until I was prescribed opiates for pain. BINGO!! I was in love - Carefree drowseyness. No anxiety or depression.
Fast forward some years, and while drinking (alone, of course) I thought it would be a good idea to drive to the projects and buy a couple of bags of heroin. Heck, everyone in Hollywood and the music scene was doing it? (And dying from it). Started out just snorting the powder. Just as much as a match-head would do it. Very quickly, I was buying bundles to snort. Then - Finally, the needle came into the picture.
Well, one stint of detox in Boston, a diagnosis of HepC, and I was "done". But, I kept drinking. Now, here I am again, hooked on the stuff again. But now its Mexican tar, so "I had to shoot it". What an idiot I am. I'm trying to work a program (not being honest to thine self) but never-the-less... I keep coming back.
I REALLY want odff the stuff. I'm sick of lying to everyone.
I have 2, 2mg strips of Suboxone... It has to end eventually... Any suggestions, hope or just kind words to make today my last day??
I know this sounds like a total "wimp move" but I am actually scared of quitting the stuff. I have suffered with anxiety and depression for years... as far back as I can remember actually. My first "use" was when my dad gave me a piece of Valium when I was 11 years old because I was so scared of scholl back then.
Then, I found alcohol. That worked for awhile, until I was prescribed opiates for pain. BINGO!! I was in love - Carefree drowseyness. No anxiety or depression.
Fast forward some years, and while drinking (alone, of course) I thought it would be a good idea to drive to the projects and buy a couple of bags of heroin. Heck, everyone in Hollywood and the music scene was doing it? (And dying from it). Started out just snorting the powder. Just as much as a match-head would do it. Very quickly, I was buying bundles to snort. Then - Finally, the needle came into the picture.
Well, one stint of detox in Boston, a diagnosis of HepC, and I was "done". But, I kept drinking. Now, here I am again, hooked on the stuff again. But now its Mexican tar, so "I had to shoot it". What an idiot I am. I'm trying to work a program (not being honest to thine self) but never-the-less... I keep coming back.
I REALLY want odff the stuff. I'm sick of lying to everyone.
I have 2, 2mg strips of Suboxone... It has to end eventually... Any suggestions, hope or just kind words to make today my last day??
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
I have no experience with heroin, but I am really glad that you keep trying to quit. There is always hope.
Dee's advice is good, so maybe you could talk to your dr.
I have no experience with heroin, but I am really glad that you keep trying to quit. There is always hope.
Dee's advice is good, so maybe you could talk to your dr.
to Sr.SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
welcome salvelinus!
I hope you'll check out our section on substance abuse:The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
I'm sure everyone here understands your fear. I'd definitely go for some medical help if you feel like you need it. It takes courage to stop. Just keep in mind how good you'll feel once it's over, and go for it......
Keep reading and posting, too. Lots of support and good information here!
I hope you'll check out our section on substance abuse:The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com
I'm sure everyone here understands your fear. I'd definitely go for some medical help if you feel like you need it. It takes courage to stop. Just keep in mind how good you'll feel once it's over, and go for it......
Keep reading and posting, too. Lots of support and good information here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, salvelinus. Welcome to SR.
I can sure relate to the feeling of living a lie. I think that's what made it so lonely for me, that feeling of being a phony everywhere I went. I'm so grateful that's behind me now. It feels great to no longer have to hide who I am.
SR has been essential to my recovery. You've definitely come to the right place.
I can sure relate to the feeling of living a lie. I think that's what made it so lonely for me, that feeling of being a phony everywhere I went. I'm so grateful that's behind me now. It feels great to no longer have to hide who I am.
SR has been essential to my recovery. You've definitely come to the right place.
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