Fear
 

Hello, I am very new too this internet stuff..but I am kind of looking for some advice. My husband is in an alcohol recovery program for 6 months, our marriage has been rocky for years, I have moved out a total of 4 times..there has been alot of turmoil in our relationship. We have 3 children together, there has been infidelity on both of our parts and we have lost our house and we recently moved into a house which we are renting now. I haven't seen him about a month..but we have been communicating by mail. I have a lot of mixed emotions and I know I am having a hard time with all of this. Well I get to see him tomorrow for the first time since he's been in this program and he gets to come home for 11 hours. And he wants to make amends with me..I am very fearful, scared and excited. I wanted this for a very long time for him to become sober. But it's really hard for all this change. I feel I am the one who has it harder than he does. I have to deal with everything!!! I am soo trying not to break. I give myself to god and ask for his help. And I make it through day by day. But I feel like I am at a stand still and not knowing how to react when my husband comes home...he is different in his letters...I am just having a difficult time right now on what to do when he comes home..what to say, how to act???

Hi and Welcome,

I hope the home-coming goes well.

Have you tried AlAnon as a support for yourself?

We also have two forums for Friends & Families on this board.

Well I can't say how it is for you, as I don't know you; but people in recovery often reach out and and try to fix past relationships or rekindle them or just settle things. I know I did it. My advise would be give the guy the benefit of the doubt at this point but be careful.

Yes, do try alanon and read here and the stickies.

My AH has never tried recovery but from what I've read here you may be in for a rough ride. His emotions may be raw and his tools to cope brand new.

Alanon can help alot with face to face support that is for YOU.

Thinking of you.

Hi and welcome angeliquemc27 :)

I'm an alcoholic - but I think both addiction and recovery can be at least as hard on our loved one as it is on us the addicts.

It's a scary time, there's a lot of fear and uncertainty...but in my experience a lot of that fear is fear of what might happen...try not and let your imagination run away with you.

Looking after yourself is very important. You may feel like you have to deal with everything but you don;t have to do it alone :)

Support is very important, and you'll find a lot of that here - and advice and encouragement too :)

We have a great Family and Friends forum here as well :)

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

:welcome to SR

He hasn't seen you in 6 months, wow, long time. Relax and enjoy his company. As for amends, I don't think I'd be ready to do that on my first visit. That's too much pressure. Best wishes.