'Total' Sobriety??
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 17
'Total' Sobriety??
Hi everyone. I have been off alcohol for 48 days now and have had no particular difficulty in staying that way, it just seems like the right thing to do. Since sobering up though, I have had a few hiccups with drug abuse, nothing too serious but nonetheless not cool. I was given chlordiazepoxide to come off the drink which worked well, and then during a follow up consulation was prescribed Xanax for anxiety. I got hooked on the Xanax and was taking it constantly for a week, then withdrawal hit me like a brick and I had to be taken off it with chlordiazepoxide (again). Since I discontinued the chlordiazepoxide (there is none left), I have abused codeine on and off ever since. It is one of those combo painkillers (ibuprofen) and causes a stomach upset taking too much and I had a very near miss last night as the new girl I am seeing almost caught me throwing up. I also smoke heavily and have been taking Champix for one week, today is my quit date. What scares me is taking no drugs of any kind as I just wont abuse codeine while abstaining from tobacco, its coming to an end anyway as tolerance is getting too high, I dont wish to drink as a non smoker and also lose interest in coffee and red bull. At the moment I smoke and abstain from alcohol through choice. however my life is still unmanageable and unhealthy with the tobacco so it needs to go, otherwise my financial situation will snowball and then explode. It also wrecks fitness levels and holds me back from more pleasurable activities. Overall, I am looking forward to quitting, but the idea of total sobriety scares me. This would be the first time in over a year I would have gone without smoking or drugs for more than two days. I also have other problems, I panick at the idea of job applications and forms and CVs (I have no job) dont know what my problem is. I am seeing my therapist this afternoon but I have wasted the whole morning doing nothing. How do other people cope without drugs?? Any help would be appreciated, thanks
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
The idea of total sobriety terrified me. I have moments where it still does. I am now over 100 days totally clean. I have done the dope and pill substitution thing, I have also substituted over the years with exercise and other stuff.
I have now totally surrendered to sobriety. At the time I equated this to jumping out of a plane without a parachute. The result was after about two months of restlessness I started to have periods of intense tranquility. The positives just continue to grow. I am so grateful I have found this way forward. I would have never dreamed this would be possible.
I do not go to AA but I think the first three steps are critical. Once you have given up the fight you will be granted freedom in due course, if you tune into the universe that surrounds you.
All the best on your journey
I have now totally surrendered to sobriety. At the time I equated this to jumping out of a plane without a parachute. The result was after about two months of restlessness I started to have periods of intense tranquility. The positives just continue to grow. I am so grateful I have found this way forward. I would have never dreamed this would be possible.
I do not go to AA but I think the first three steps are critical. Once you have given up the fight you will be granted freedom in due course, if you tune into the universe that surrounds you.
All the best on your journey
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York City
Posts: 221
When I decided to get sober, I had lingering thoughts of "someday" I can use again. When I stopped drinking, I was already 3 months off pot, which in itself was a half miracle. At that time, I figured maybe a year after stopping pot, I might have a hit.
The day arrived, the oneyear mark, and I decided not to smoke weed after all. I'm celebrating 1 year off weed, and 9 months off drink.
As for "total sobriety" in your query, I detect an addict trying to justify using, and not someone concerned about their doctors orders. It's the opinion of this web site and almost all recovery programs that total abstinence is required, which does not include doctors orders and close monitoring of your prescriptions.
An addictive mind will try to fool us, by doctor shopping, lying to doctors, self treatment, self justification, self deception, etc. That's why AA and NA say 'will power is not enough.' For example, "A shot of whiskey in my milk can't do any harm." The will bends so easily to cravings which directly warps willpower and even our "rational" mind.
As for coping without drugs, well that's a personal journey that's well worth the effort. I received immense help and support using face to face support groups. Being as honest to myself as I can, and trying to be humble in the face of my shame helped me to get free. That and playing 3-5 hours of guitar a night keeps my mind at rest. I don't watch the news anymore either!
All the best to you! Good luck!
The day arrived, the oneyear mark, and I decided not to smoke weed after all. I'm celebrating 1 year off weed, and 9 months off drink.
As for "total sobriety" in your query, I detect an addict trying to justify using, and not someone concerned about their doctors orders. It's the opinion of this web site and almost all recovery programs that total abstinence is required, which does not include doctors orders and close monitoring of your prescriptions.
An addictive mind will try to fool us, by doctor shopping, lying to doctors, self treatment, self justification, self deception, etc. That's why AA and NA say 'will power is not enough.' For example, "A shot of whiskey in my milk can't do any harm." The will bends so easily to cravings which directly warps willpower and even our "rational" mind.
As for coping without drugs, well that's a personal journey that's well worth the effort. I received immense help and support using face to face support groups. Being as honest to myself as I can, and trying to be humble in the face of my shame helped me to get free. That and playing 3-5 hours of guitar a night keeps my mind at rest. I don't watch the news anymore either!
All the best to you! Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
How do other people cope without drugs?
LOL... Only someone who has been there can understand that question!! I understand that question. There is only one way to get your answer, and that is to find out yourself... When I finally quit taking all the pills, I found out. My answer came as I worked through the steps... As another poster mentioned, those first three are crucial, at first... Then long term sobriety becomes possible and the rest of the steps help...
Maybe you don't need a twelve step program... But your question indicates that it takes a lot more than "just say no".... You can do it. Start at the beginning and take that leap of faith....
LOL... Only someone who has been there can understand that question!! I understand that question. There is only one way to get your answer, and that is to find out yourself... When I finally quit taking all the pills, I found out. My answer came as I worked through the steps... As another poster mentioned, those first three are crucial, at first... Then long term sobriety becomes possible and the rest of the steps help...
Maybe you don't need a twelve step program... But your question indicates that it takes a lot more than "just say no".... You can do it. Start at the beginning and take that leap of faith....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hi David
I understand your fear...and your bewilderment...at thinking about a life totally straight.
I lived for 20 years or so, high or drunk in some way most days, and eventually every day.
Eventually I realised the problem wasn't actually the things I was ingesting - the problem was me. If I didn't want to destroy myself, I needed to lay down my various crutches.
I did it a day at a time...it was hard - but I had a lot of support here and it was something I wanted to do with every fibre of my being.
I knew the old way of relying on something to alter my reality was simply consuming me.
And each day, each week I stayed sober I learned something new...every new situation I dealt with sober bought me some new sober skill....
It took time but I changed and I grew and I started to like the me I was seeing. I hadn't done that in many many years.
Take the leap David - I know you'll be glad you did.
It's worth it.
It's not always easy, but find yourself all the support you can - it makes it easier.
You're not alone
D
I understand your fear...and your bewilderment...at thinking about a life totally straight.
I lived for 20 years or so, high or drunk in some way most days, and eventually every day.
Eventually I realised the problem wasn't actually the things I was ingesting - the problem was me. If I didn't want to destroy myself, I needed to lay down my various crutches.
I did it a day at a time...it was hard - but I had a lot of support here and it was something I wanted to do with every fibre of my being.
I knew the old way of relying on something to alter my reality was simply consuming me.
And each day, each week I stayed sober I learned something new...every new situation I dealt with sober bought me some new sober skill....
It took time but I changed and I grew and I started to like the me I was seeing. I hadn't done that in many many years.
Take the leap David - I know you'll be glad you did.
It's worth it.
It's not always easy, but find yourself all the support you can - it makes it easier.
You're not alone
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 123
Hi David, thanks for this great post. I understand what you are saying. I've been totally sober for 13 days and I feel better with each day. I quit alcohol for 80 days last year, but substituted benzos and weed and eventually caved to alcohol. This time around, I'm doing the totally sober thing and I think that works better for me. No pills, no weed, no booze - no mind altering substances whatsoever. I've always relied on some sort of substance and that just keeps me in "addiction mode." I'm learning that someone like me cannot use any mind altering substances - period. Good luck to you!
Beating this demon for GOOD
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 143
David, thank you for reaching out here and sharing. We have all been where you are right now, that I can promise you.
As others have said, I have tried to substitute in the past when I have tried to stop drinking, with weed, usually. It always led me back to the path of drinking again, always.
But that being said, go easy on yourself. I am learning this time around, that "one day at a time" is the best that we can do. Otherwise, you start to feel overwhelmed, shrug and think "what's the use?" There is a lot of truth in completely and totally accepting that there is no longer any space for any type of substance to control or alter your mood. It is also very powerful to admit that fully and work toward getting well.
No it's not easy all the time, it can be very hard. But that is the payoff, no longer living in secrecy, with shame, and having a completely open mind in approaching life and its many changes/adventures. But it's so freeing and wonderful to do this completely "in the moment" and not under the influence of anything.
I truly believe we all have the power to do that, so do YOU!! hang in there and please keep posting on here. We all care, these are a wonderful group of folks, and we are all in this together.
As others have said, I have tried to substitute in the past when I have tried to stop drinking, with weed, usually. It always led me back to the path of drinking again, always.
But that being said, go easy on yourself. I am learning this time around, that "one day at a time" is the best that we can do. Otherwise, you start to feel overwhelmed, shrug and think "what's the use?" There is a lot of truth in completely and totally accepting that there is no longer any space for any type of substance to control or alter your mood. It is also very powerful to admit that fully and work toward getting well.
No it's not easy all the time, it can be very hard. But that is the payoff, no longer living in secrecy, with shame, and having a completely open mind in approaching life and its many changes/adventures. But it's so freeing and wonderful to do this completely "in the moment" and not under the influence of anything.
I truly believe we all have the power to do that, so do YOU!! hang in there and please keep posting on here. We all care, these are a wonderful group of folks, and we are all in this together.
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